Thursday 7 February 2013

Strangely Enough, There's No Mitigation...

...which is a pity, as it would have been awesome:
Police surrounded the block in Chaddesden, Derby, after drunken knifemen Wayne Hitchcock, Joseph Smith and Joseph Kilmartin took over one of the flats in the building.
When police cordoned off the scene, Hitchcock and Smith went on a wrecking spree even ripping out a toilet and throwing it through a window along with parts of a settee and cupboards.
They also ripped out a cooker which led to gas escaping before shouting 'we're going to blow this place up, we've turned the gas on'.
Luckily, the gas meter had ran out credit (sic) and the pipe was damaged as the cooker was pulled out preventing the flat from being blown up.
They years. And no, of course, they won't serve them all, will they?
One police officer described the incident as the 'most terrifying' experience in his nine years of service.
Really..?! Was he on secondment from Lochdubh..?
Detective Constable Sean Grainger, investigating officer in the case, said: 'It was like there had been an explosion in the flat.
'These men destroyed the victim's life. They smashed everything in the flat and even threw the toilet out of the window.
'They broke all his worldly possessions, even items of sentimental value that are irreplaceable.
'They were arrested after a one-and-a-half-hour stand-off with police.
'Some of the group were supposed to be friends with the victim but no real friend would ever cause a person so much hurt.'
Maybe no real police force would have stood by and let them, Sean...


John Pickworth said...

Detective Constable Sean Grainger - Official Police dramatist.

I'm only surprised he didn't describe the toilet being thrown out the window as a 'dirty bomb'!

JuliaM said...


Where do they find them these days?

Weekend Yachtsman said...

"No real police force would have stood by..."

Well that's why they don't call themselves Police Forces any more, I guess.

Police "services" DO stand by and let things happen. Especially if Elf 'n Safety is involved.