Thursday 21 February 2013

A Bit Careless?

Police shot a 48-year-old man with a Taser gun after he threatened to use petrol to blow up his home.
Don't they worry about sparks?
Father-of-two Carl Mountford barricaded himself in to a bedroom after accusing his wife of 29 years of having an affair.
And was the weeping lady of the house waiting for police to resolve the matter?
It later emerged that his wife Adele Tunstall – who was out playing bingo at the time of the siege – was not having an affair.
It really is just like 'Jeremy Kyle', isn't it?
Now the couple's marriage is 'back on track' – although Mrs Tunstall has warned her hubby to stay off alcohol.
I'm shocked, shocked, to find alcohol was involved... Comment of the month, though:
by defjamrcsThursday, February 14 2013, 1:39PM
“I'm glad they worked things out and this has a happy ending. It would have been a shame to throw away such a wonderful relationship over a very small silly misunderstanding involving drink, petrol, a machete and armed police.
It's a warm Valentine's Day story from fegg Hayes”


Hogdayafternoon said...

"Don't they worry about sparks?"
Hoping for them, more like.

Hogdayafternoon said...

On second thoughts....

When it comes, will it come without warning
Just as I'm picking my nose?
Will it knock on my door in the morning,
Or tread in the bus on my toes?
Will it come like a change in the weather?
Will its greeting be courteous or rough?
Will it alter my life altogether?
O tell me the truth about love.
(WH Auden)

Fidel Cuntstruck said...

Anyone who was, or is, a fan of "The Viz" will be immediately reminded of "EIGHT-ACE" the habitual drunk :0)

Stuart Muldoon, defending, told Stafford Crown Court: "The real victim in this case is Adele Tunstall

No mate, the real victim is, once again, us Taxpayers who have to fund this malarkey

"She had been subject to selfish behaviour by the defendant. He is ashamed about what happened.

Naturally ..

I have spoken to his partner, and she says she will carry out her ultimatum if he was to start drinking again.

No she won't

"She says that he is now a better man than he has been for some time."


Mountford, of Rivington Crescent, admitted affray and two charges of criminal damage.

That's it, come clean and hope there are Liberals on the bench

The court heard he had drunk two three-litre bottles of cider on the night of the incident and could remember little about the police stand-off.

A temperate sort of fellow then?

Anonymous said...

Here's another one:

Beautiful...............{police still to blame}

JuliaM said...

"Hoping for them, more like."


"Anyone who was, or is, a fan of "The Viz" will be immediately reminded of "EIGHT-ACE" the habitual drunk :"

Sometimes, reading these stories, I think life is indeed imitating art...

"Beautiful...............{police still to blame}"

What were they supposed to do? Put him up at the Hilton?!?