Tuesday 20 October 2009

"Sarge! Sarge! They're Deploying The Offensive Banners!"

"Fall back, lads! This is a job for the Tactical Offence (Sons of Senior Executives) Response Squad..."
A police source said: 'The banner was a real show-stopper. Members of the public who take part in these events are meant to make them trying for officers but the sign - and the person who wrote it - took everyone into completely new territory.

'The constabulary has tried to play this down but it has caused a lot of anger among the rank and file and has been an embarrassment for the chief.
What was it? What so confounded the hard men in training?

Well, hold onto your socks, folks...
Officers removed Jack McPherson, 17, from the riot training exercise after he held up banners including one that proclaimed, 'All policewomen are dykes'.
OMFG!

If only Swampy and his mates had known in advance that all that was needed for the big tough police to throw down their riot shields and hug their alsatians, weeping frightened tears, was harsh language!

Did they say to the lad 'Sorry, son, but we don't want to make it too real, know what I mean?' and carry on?

Oh, no. No, this was a job for the lad's dad - a senior cop:
Norfolk Chief Constable Ian McPherson was forced to cut short a meeting after he was contacted about the situation and asked to intervene.
FFS....!
It was not clear how the teenager came to be at the event.
Of course it was clear!

It's the police equivalent of 'We need a temp lad in the office to make tea - is the managing director's son free for a few weeks?'. Happens in every organisation (or used to).

But usually, if there's a dispute over whether the lad should make quite so many cups of tea, or put the sugar in for people or leave it on the side, no-one hauls the MD out of a teleconference with their Asian branch to resolve it...
A police source said a 17-year-old had been involved in displaying an inappropriate banner at a training day at RAF Coltishall near Norwich, but he had apologised and no further action would be taken.
Well, not quite accurate is it?

'No further action' will be taken because any competent defence would tear the CPS to shreds for ever bringing it. That's if it got that far...

I need to know - are they recruiting police with no balls, no brains and no spine these days, or is there some operation that removes these things in their first week?

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

"I need to know - are they recruiting police with no balls, no brains and no spine these days, or is there some operation that removes these things in their first week?"


I don't know who is leaking this classified stuff to you but the operations would be simple routine modifications - that is if we did cerebral/gonad reduction - because we don't - and if we do it was because the government told us to and so on.

Friedrich Golz
ACPO
Victoria St, London

Anonymous said...

So they didn't deny it then?

Joe Public said...

"I need to know - are they recruiting police with no balls,...."

1/2 of them, yes.

JuliaM said...

"...and if we do it was because the government told us to and so on."

I knew it!

"So they didn't deny it then?"

I wonder if any of the trainees were women..?

"1/2 of them, yes."

Bit more than that, perhaps...

blueknight said...

I wonder what they did with the banner? One one hand they probably wanted to get rid of something so 'inappropiate', but on the other hand they would need to keep it as 'evidence' in case someone makes a claim against the Force in the future.
The simple honesty of the chief's son was a joy to behold. It demonstrates the difference between the thought processes of an over politicised Police Force and the public at large.

JuliaM said...

"The simple honesty of the chief's son was a joy to behold. It demonstrates the difference between the thought processes of an over politicised Police Force and the public at large."

Yup. I bet his father gives him some career advice tonight.