Thursday 18 August 2011

Don’t Be So Quick To Blame Shannon Flynn’s Boyfriend This Time!

A self-confessed female sex addict admitted drunkenly attacking a doorman while on a night out, a court heard yesterday.

Shannon Flynn, 27, last year publicly confessed to being a sex addict who was prone to violence if her boyfriend did not satisfy her in the bedroom.
But the unnamed chap is off the hook this time:
Defence agent James Stewart said Flynn was currently living with her mother.
Whew!
Sheriff Isabella McColl called for background reports and deferred sentence until next month.
Can’t she just use the ‘background reports’ from the ‘Mail’? They’re probably about as well researched…
Speaking outside court Flynn said the attack on the bouncer was not related to her sex addiction, but her problems with alcohol.

She added: 'I had a sex addiction. It's related to alcohol. The sex addiction only came out when I was drunk. But I've calmed down now.'
Then, you didn’t really have ‘a sex addiction’, did you?

You were just a drunken violent little slapper, weren’t you?
Flynn said she was now (sic) takes tablets three times a week, which make her sick when she has a drink.

She said that speaking out about her addiction has helped her battle her demons.
And avoid any punishment, perhaps. Will it work?

Probably…

8 comments:

Ian B said...

Well, I dunno. Is there such a thing as a sex addiction? She has a high sex drive and, like many men, gets bad tempered when she's not getting any.

She'd probably just do well to make a career of her talent. Some combination of prostitution and porn, which would be economically productive and keep her satisfied, presumably.

Why do we presume that everyone should have the same feelings? Very strange, and not very productive, is it?

Twenty_Rothmans said...

Er - without wishing to be too indelicate, why didn't she work this out herself?

I gather that there is a pastime known as hogging, where one gains kudos by rutting with the most exceptionally repugnant female available. I called Mr Blair but he was unavailable for comment.

Captain Haddock said...

@ Ian B ..

"Some combination of prostitution and porn, which would be economically productive and keep her satisfied, presumably" ...

That, or introduce her to the Mounted Band of the Household Cavalry ..

SBC said...

Readers of a delicate disposition and those under 18 DO NOT READ ON!


My fellow men,

think back to the worst blow job you ever had. Not the one where she almost turned you into an american but the one where she (or he if you're a GOD CURSED SODOMITE) just couldn't get the rhythm right. How they brought you almost to the edge and then lost it again.

That feeling of almost painfull, blue balled anguish. That longing for release... the hunger, frustration and ANGER that built up.

Now imagine that feeling magnified a hundred times and you'll begin to understand the sex 'addict' or nympho.

Yeah we all joke about it but it's actually a horrible condition.

My first real, non-imaginary, girl friend suffered from it and I wouldn't wish her pain and suffering on my worst enemy.

oh and 20 Rothmans, DIY doesn't work I'm afraid. Torment WITHOUT relief....even by oneself.

Right, that's my Compassionate nature given its annual airing. Now I can go back to being a right old git.

blueknight said...

sex addiction? Nothing a course of hot meat injections wouldn't cure

Anonymous said...

She was quiet as a mouse when she went out with me AP!
Not really, not even with someone else's bargepole.
I can't work out what tack she was trying in court.

JuliaM said...

"Why do we presume that everyone should have the same feelings?"

The pernicious influence of the 'no-one's different, because difference is wrong!' philosophy?

"I called Mr Blair but he was unavailable for comment."

SNORK!

"Yeah we all joke about it but it's actually a horrible condition. "

That's if she actually does suffer from this. I've my doubts.

"I can't work out what tack she was trying in court."

Maybe that's the tack she was attempting - like a squid squirting ink, confuse the predator and you might get away...

David Gillies said...

I think 'sex addiction' is a load of old horseshit. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised to see it in a Cracked.com article called '5 pseudo-scientific maladies that are a load of old horseshit'. Anyway, even if it's a thing, doesn't excuse bad behaviour. The whole point of being a human rather than a chimp is that we have the capability to not act on all our base desires.