Monday 15 October 2012

If They Were Reindeer, It’d Be A Little Easier To Understand…

…especially at this time of year:
Six elks have been stolen from a farm near Yeovil. The elks were stolen between Thursday, October 4, and Friday, October 5.
A boundary fence was cut in a field near West Coker and six fully grown elks stolen.
Two heavy-duty batteries were also stolen and a further two elks allowed to escape.
We’ll overlook the fact that ‘elk’ is also the plural, and the story has no accompanying pictures, so whether these are the US elk or what the Europeans call an elk (which is actually a moose) was also up in the air, until subsequent reports clarified the matter.

But whichever they are, they are both huge animals! How’d anyone manage to steal six?!
Investigating the incident, PC Jackie Poole said: "This is an unusual theft and would have required a vehicle, and probably quite a bit of time, to complete. I would ask people in the area at the time to cast their mind back and see if they remember seeing anything suspicious.
"I am particularly interested in speaking to anyone who has been approached about elks or elk meat or anyone who saw a vehicle in the area which was capable of stealing these animals.
"It is possible that dogs were used to help herd the animals. If you can help please give me a call."
It’s a bit of a step up from sheep rustling, you have to admit…

Update: The 'Daily Mail' reports that they have been located.
Today four of the six stolen animals were located and an operation is currently underway to ensure their safe return to the farm.
It doesn't say where they were located, though...

As Mark Wadsworth pointed out in his comments, this story truly was the gift that kept on giving!

8 comments:

David Duff said...

It's possible that PC Jackie Poole does not realise that the elks might have been arrested for crossing the road at inappropriate places:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kNJJN4406y8&feature=player_embedded

Sent to me by one of my regulars and I have been dying for a chance to tell someone - anyone - about it. How the radio hosts controlle dthemselves for so long is a miracle!

Anonymous said...

"I am particularly interested in speaking to anyone who.....saw a vehicle in the area which was capable of stealing these animals."

A vehicle with elk sensor and AutoRustle?

nisakiman said...

Perhaps mercedes-Benz is bringing out a new compact and needs to do some testing - clandestinely...

DD, that link is a classic! I have tears rolling down my cheeks!

dearieme said...

"what the Europeans call an elk (which is actually a moose)": I think you'll find that the Europeans called their elk an elk before the Americans started calling their big deer an elk.

JuliaM said...

"How the radio hosts controlle dthemselves for so long is a miracle!"

Oh, that is utterly priceless!

"A vehicle with elk sensor and AutoRustle?"

There's probably an app for that...

"I think you'll find that the Europeans called their elk an elk before the Americans started calling their big deer an elk."

Oh, no doubt.

Edwin Greenwood said...

"... and the story has no accompanying pictures ..."

No, but it does have an entirely gratuitous stock photograph of a row of parked police patrol cars. Very much in the mould of the dear old News Shopper in fact. I'm coming to the conclusion that all UK local newspapers are now edited in one sodding great newsroom in Bangalore. You can imagine the conversation.

— Vijay, what is "elk", please?
— I am being uncertain, Pankaj. Some kind of European cow, I think.
...
— Vijay, there is no photograph in the library. What should I do?
— Where did you get the story?
— From the Police.
— Then put in picture of police car. They will not notice.

There's elk to pay said...

Elk burgers? Elk-kebabs? The sliced up animals probably won't be halal, that's for sure.

Unless they were last seen being herded into El-Kashmiri's down the road from me.

JuliaM said...

"...but it does have an entirely gratuitous stock photograph of a row of parked police patrol cars. Very much in the mould of the dear old News Shopper in fact."

Heh! I've noticed that. Or the solitary policewoman or row of police 'Do not cross!' tape.