Saturday 20 October 2012

Joseph Gillinder, New Man…

A family has called for the culling of foxes after one
Killed their cat? Savaged their elderly grandmother? Stole their car?
… crept into their south London home and headed towards a baby’s bedroom.
Oh. Well. That was a bit of an anticlimax.
Mr Gillinder, 31, and his partner, Vix Henstock, 28, said that foxes circle their neighbourhood in Bromley at night and they feared that one could harm Violet.
‘Circle their neighbourhood at night’? Perhaps they need to build a boma
Mr Gillinder said he backed a cull because of the growing numbers of the creatures prowling around his neighbourhood and fears over the safety of his family.
I'm sure the people of Churchill, Alaska and the Sunderbans region of Asia feel your pain, Mr Gillinder. As does Ben Douglas...
He added: “It is one thing to have the mangy horrible creatures waltzing around the neighbourhood but last week one actually came into my house whilst my back was turned for just a minute whilst putting out the bins.
“It was in the hall and I didn’t want to chase it into the house so I took a few steps back towards the door and it ran out.
"We have a very small baby in our house and that makes it not just a small problem but one of utmost concern and worry. I dread to think what one could do to a small baby.”
If the only thing in your life of ‘utmost concern and worry’ is whether a fox will run off with your baby, then I have to say, your life is pretty good in comparison to others…
The couple have written to Bromley council asking them to clamp down on rubbish left on the streets which attracts the animals.
Bromley Council is dumping rubbish on the streets..? Really?

Shouldn't you maybe be writing to your neighbours instead, Mr Gillard?
Councillor Tim Stevens, who is Bromley council’s representative for public safety, said: “Bromley council’s approach to foxes is to discourage an increase in their population without physically harming them.
“This is achieved by advising residents to stop doing things that might encourage foxes. These include removing attractions from the garden, sealing up holes and hiding places.”
Oh! I bet Mr Gillard never thought of that. Surely everything is the responsibility of the council?

13 comments:

Noggin the Nog said...

MAYBE THE DINGO ATE YOUR BAYBEE?

John Pickworth said...

"... one of utmost concern and worry. I dread to think what one could do to a small baby.”

Allow me to assuage your fears Mr Gillinder; the fox will probably go for your baby's throat before dragging the lifeless corpse back to its den. There, feeling better now?

And anyway, it's your fault. If you must insist on living with a partner called 'Henstock' you shouldn't be too surprised if your house becomes ground zero. Right now, foxes from 200 miles around are closing in.

Bobo said...

"Councillor Tim Stevens, who is Bromley council’s representative for public safety, said: “Bromley council’s approach to foxes is to discourage an increase in their population without physically harming them. "

Council speak for 'do nothing'. How do you 'discourage' a fox? A vulpine-oriented leaflet campaign?

Anonymous said...

I had to leave Bromley several years ago having lived in da boro for some 20 years. I couldn't sleep you see? The anxiety levels were rising, just thinking of thos foxes circling out there, in the dead of night, waiting....just waiting to pounce, to seize a small child...A CHILD for God's sake....then there were the zombies...you don't believe me? Get down to the High STreet at night or The Glades shopping centre in the daytime, they're there, waiting....for you, waiting for the leavings of the foxes........GET OUT NOW WHILE YOU CAN!

Twenty_Rothmans said...

Ingredients:
1 pint glass
1 steak on the turn
Recipe:
Using an appropriate tool (boot, hammer or very good blender, and thereafter a mortar and pestle, grind the pint glass into a thin paste, adding vegetable oil from time to time. Add pepper and salt.

Season the meat by working the mixture into the flesh. Gloves are recommended.

Serving:
Place in cheap bin bag outside your home the night before rubbish collection. A bowl filled with Halford's antifreeze will refresh the palate of your guest(s).

MTG said...

@ Twenty_Rothmans

That kind of animal generosity has the bar placed so low that most humans could never stoop to it.

ivan said...

Oh dear, I wonder what he would do if he lived in my village. We get wild boar passing through as they come down the mountain on the way to the river.

I can always tell when one passes the house - my Newfoundland rumbles, it's not a growl just a warning.

The largest I've seen passing the house was a 100kg male that the hunters killed the next day - after it had dug up a friends lawn.

Anonymous said...

well we wanted a ban on fox hunting so let them be. If that is a few kids go missing well too bad.

banned said...

Put the fox in a sack with a peadophile then, after a while, burn the sack. Two for the price of one!

Anonymous said...

"Put the fox in a sack with a peadophile then, after a while, burn the sack. Two for the price of one!"

You rule.

GalaPie said...

Bobo, perhaps they plan to issue free condoms to the foxes?

JuliaM said...

"If you must insist on living with a partner called 'Henstock' you shouldn't be too surprised if your house becomes ground zero."

Heh!

"How do you 'discourage' a fox? A vulpine-oriented leaflet campaign?"

Make a noise like a whining beagle? I'd think council staff would have that down pat.

"Place in cheap bin bag outside your home the night before rubbish collection."

I can't endorse a method that is indiscriminate. A real man builds a machan, and waits up all night with his rifle.

"Oh dear, I wonder what he would do if he lived in my village. We get wild boar passing through.."

Sussex butcher Jamie Wickens would be glad of a carcase or two.. ;)

Rob said...

Vix? Short for Vixen?

SHE'S IN LEAGUE WITH THEM!