Saturday, 13 April 2013

Such A Very Familiar Story...

Yet more mayhem on our streets:
A massive fight broke out in Tooting Broadway last night between two rival gangs of armed yobs. Shoppers ran for their lives as 30 youths aged 14-20 attacked each other with wood, iron bars and bottles in Sainsbury’s car park at around 6pm.
Yet more vibrant protagonists:
It began in Mitcham Road outside McDonald’s, where a group of what are believed to be Somali youths began taunting some Asians, according to one witness.
Yet more fed-up residents:
Mark Shaw, 46, frontman of 80s band Then Jerico, was caught in the chaos while carrying his shopping to the car. He said: “They picked up sticks and anything they could find. There were people screaming and shouting.
"It was like a war zone. We were absolutely terrified.
It makes me feel angry and disgusted with the Government because this country is being over-run by little scumbags.
Yet more too little, too late frontline policing:
Within minutes, three police cars arrived but the youths bolted and it is not yet known whether any were arrested.
Yet more confirmation that this is becoming normal:
Rob Sanson, manager of A Bar 2 Far, witnessed part of the fight but said it was no different to normal. He said: “There’s always antisocial behaviour, throwing bottles, smoking weed, selling drugs and everything.
“We are trying to run a clean business but we are being sidetracked by them. They are putting off our customers.
Yet more senior ranking officer trotting out bland & soothing reassurance that we should believe the force's 'community engagement strategy', and not our lyin' eyes:
Inspector Dale Anderton from Tooting safer neighbourhoods team (SNT), said: “It was an isolated incident.
"It seems that a group of up to 20 people attended the area intent on exacting some sort of revenge for a minor assault on a youth earlier in the week.
“They then met up with another group of about 20 and a fight broke out.”
He added behaviour in the area had improved recently, but that officers were increasing their patrols to tackle the remaining problems.
Coming soon to a street near you. Unless you are a senior politician, magistrate or police officer...


Anonymous said...


Replace the local police with a battalion of Ghurkas. Instead of deporting the illegal immigrants, can we start on deporting the judges first? Then we might actually get a representative judiciary.

Anonymous said...

Inspector Dale Anderton clearly hasn't been around long. Wherever the human rats that are Somalis live and congregate the incidence of sexual assault and violence increases and such incidents are never 'isolated'.

Anonymous said...


Maybe we should re-introduce Roman style games. I'm sure that these idiots could be conned into entering an area where they could be quickly rounded up. We could then release two or more warring parties into a big arena with a pile of interesting weapons in the centre. The rest of us could then make bets or just cheer them on until all but one of them is dead.

Anonymous said...

I find a Maxim machine gun works wonders in cases like this.

Anonymous said...

"Maxim machine gun"-I hope that is just a figure of speech Melvin to attract supportive comments from the worst type of radiator bound plod.

staybryte said...

"it is not yet known whether any were arrested."

That's odd. Mr Shaw's comments were an obvious hate crime. Off to tolerance camp forthwith for this Nartzeeee.

MTG said...

When devising a comment to post as mine, do strive towards an authentic MTG presentation, WC Jaded.

I abhor guns and vehemently oppose routine arming of plod. A crass posting to oppose those principles, in combination with grammatical and syntax errors, amount to plod-troll scrawl.

Anonymous said...

In one of your many dictionaries Melvin look up the word hypocrite.

JuliaM said...

"Replace the local police with a battalion of Ghurkas."

I like that idea!

"The rest of us could then make bets or just cheer them on until all but one of them is dead."

I predict a better audience-share than whatever the latest 'X Factor' is getting.

"That's odd. Mr Shaw's comments were an obvious hate crime."

The CPS are very....flexible...when it comes to that one, aren't they?