...and now I know:
Jodie Marsh has revealed her £1 million farm was swarmed by RSPCA investigators on Wednesday.
The animal group arrived at the property as they were investigating claims she took her meerkat Mabel to the pub.
And, what? Forced Guinness down the poor beast's throat?
Taking to Instagram, she filmed the incident as it unfolded- and cleared up the rumours about her animal, revealing that she could not leave her alone as she would cry if she did and needed regular feeding because she was rearing her.
And this took two hours and a team of investigators?Well, no. That was because, thwarted in their purpose (not to help animals in distress, to secure a celebrity scalp, of course!) they went digging around for other things they could boast about in their publicity mailshots.
With the same results.
Jodie revealed that during the two-hour investigation, officers also looked into claims that an emu had a tube stuck in its neck. The glamour model shared that the tube was saving the animal's life as it was for feeding them...
It's not really surprising that they don't understand about 'saving animal's lives', since it's a pretty much alien concept to them.
Also during the farm inspection, Jodie was asked about keeping a wild muntjac deer and she told officers she was looking after it because it had fallen into a swimming pool nearby.
I can see why that would have baffled them, too...