Thursday 31 March 2011

I’m Going To Open A Butchers/Greengrocers In Henlow…

…and I’m going to call it ‘Meat And Two Veg’!
some residents in the historic village of Henlow in Bedfordshire are failing to see the funny side of a newly opened business.
Purse-mouthed small-minded idiots…
A petition and letter of complaint has been handed to owner John O'Toole, decrying his bakery's choice of title: Nice Baps.
John said: 'A little petition was handed in and I had a letter from one of the local schools who said they thought the name was trashy.’
Wait, what? From a school?

…a teacher at Henlow's Raynsford VC Lower School wrote to John claiming she was worried about the 'effect' the name may have on impressionable children.

She refused to comment on the issue last night.

Yeah, I’ll just bet she did! I bet she didn't clear it with her headteacher first... Luckily, the local councillors aren’t quite so keen to indulge these po-faced loons:

Cllr Wiles said: 'Henlow Parish Council is keen to support local businesses and welcome the fact that the shop in the High Street is being used rather than standing empty or being converted to housing.

'As far as we know no planning application would have been required and we certainly haven't seen or commented on one.' He added: 'To date we have received one letter from a local resident expressing some concern over the name of the shop, plus a couple of verbal comments about the colour scheme. 'The letter will, as per normal procedure, be considered at the next full council meeting, which in this case is due to be held on April 11.’

Should have held it tomorrow, it’d be far more appropriate!


Edwin Greenwood said...

John O'Toole, eh? Perhaps the teacher thinks he's a bit too cocky and she's just pulling his plonker. Sounds like a load of bollocks to me.

Mike said...

Harrogate has a bed/home furnishings shop called Knobs and Knockers but then the local hoi palloi will only be seen in some department store I forget the name of

Mike said...

Jedwards, Harvey's (no, thats dog food), Brimsters?!? I forget, some usless department store full of twats paying twice the price they could for CK1 in Boots just round the corner, LMFAO

Sue said...

No names then? Lucky cow got away with it. WTF is wrong with people, the British used to have a sense of humour!

Lynne said...

How about a squash club called Balls to the Wall?

And, this is for real, we have a local undertaker called Box Bros.

Captain Haddock said...

It was the same, a few years ago .. when the local old biddies got their undies in an uproar with the Pub in Eton High Street, which had a blackboard (can I say that ? .. oh sod it, I did anyway) outside advertising a rather nice Real Ale from Oxfordshire's Wychwood Brewery ..

The name of the Ale in question is "Dog's Bollocks" ..

(If you've never tried it .. I highly recommend it) .. ;)

Mike said...

Oh the fun we could have with the English language if we weren't English! remeber Captin Pugwash? or Seaman Stains, better whatch out or I might upset someone from Stains, init brov ;)

Mike said...

yes yes watch, fucking sue me, lol

jd said...

A fine beer indeed Captain Haddock. So good I have the T-shirt.. slogan on the back "Now you can get your bollocks in a bottle".

Though when it comes to classy advertising you can't beat Shepherd Neame, from their Spitfire campaign
through to the Bishop's Finger ads:

Captain Haddock said...

Absolutely JD ..

"Sheps" brew some fine ales .. in fact, prior to the loss of West Yorkshire's "Steam Packet Brewery" at Knottingley .. it was amusing to wonder just what a pint of Sheps "Bishop's Finger" .. combined with Steam Packet's "Ginger Minge" might taste like .. ;)

Alas, we'll never know now ..

I can however testify to the efficacy of Young's of Wandsworth's Ram Brewery "Ram-Rod" & "Special" mixed .. not known locally as "Dr Young's falling-down water" for nothing .. :) :)

I used to have a "Dogs" mug for my tea at work .. until some humourless female "accidentally" dropped it ..

I shall have to get myself one of those T-Shirts though .. :)

blueknight said...

Sorry Julia these were first.

and the girls wear T shirts that display the name - Fine Baps - and they often are.

JuliaM said...

"Perhaps the teacher thinks he's a bit too cocky and she's just pulling his plonker. "


"Harrogate has a bed/home furnishings shop called Knobs and Knockers..."

The amusingly named shop (and beer!) is a great British tradition.

"WTF is wrong with people, the British used to have a sense of humour!"

They mostly still do. I've not seen anyone comment in favour of the complaints yet..