Saturday 26 March 2011

A Thankless Task…

…defending the actions of the underclass:
A man was attacked with a fence post after singing songs about Reading in a Didcot pub.

Martin Rendell and Adam Purse lay in wait for the victim after a group of men from the Berkshire town sang “We’re Reading, we’re Reading, we’ll kick your head in” at the Wallingford Arms, in Broadway.
Obviously, if opposing chants were heard, they must be too awful to see in print.

What does rhyme with ‘Didcot’ anyway?
Graham Bennett, defending, Purse, of Malvern Close,said: “The Reading group were plainly aggressive towards the Didcot group and challenged them in aggressive fashion before the violence ever took place.

It was never Mr Purse's intention that matters should develop in this way.
You’d have better luck with that argument if your client hadn’t have lain in wait for the victim afterwards, frankly…
James Reilly, defending Rendell, of The Oval, said it was “a drink-fuelled matter – a one-off”.
Oh, well, maybe that’s a bit more plausible?

Rendell, who was jailed for three years in 2008 for wounding with intent to cause grievous bodily harm in Grove, was jailed for three years.
I guess not…


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Captain Haddock said...

"What does rhyme with ‘Didcot’ anyway" ?

Errrm ... "Shit-heap" ?

Well, it very nearly rhymes .. ;)

The only decent thing about Didcot was the Peregine Falcons which nested on the Power Station chimneys .. and I'm not sure whether they're even still there ..

nightlurker said...

Is it legal for a barasta* to lie to the court? If he's got previous for the same thing how can it be a one off?

*I know wrong spelling for this but with that defence he should be making the coffee.

JuliaM said...

"The only decent thing about Didcot was the Peregine Falcons which nested on the Power Station chimneys.."

They probably are still there. They are doing very well as a species, I occasionally see one over Canary Wharf too.

"Is it legal for a barasta* to lie to the court?"

Must be. It's pretty much in the job description, no?

Chopper said...

Hmm, the second line of the couplet

"We’re Reading, we’re Reading,
We’ll kick your head in”

...sounds like it's missing a couple of syllables. Possibly some kind of expressive verb in the present participle, used in this case as an adjective.

JuliaM said...

I think you're right!