Health officials are asking north Essex people to keep a daily record of the amount they drink during April.I thought the NHS was in a dreadful state, with staff being cut left, right and centre, and people being denied vital health care?
Anglian Community Enterprise, which is responsible for community healthcare in north Essex, wants the records kept as part of an alcohol awareness campaign.
Yet somehow they - and the equally cash-strapped educational system - always find the staff and money and time for this sort of thing…
Alix Sheppard, health trainer, said: “It is aimed at the vast majority who consider themselves social drinkers but who are still probably drinking more than is healthy for them.”Translation: “We’ve struck out with the underclass alcoholics, who just ignore or assault us, so now we’ve turned to easier prey, the middle class social drinkers who won’t yell ‘gerroutavityaponce!’ and throw bottles of urine at us..”
“It’s not unusual to want to take a little time out and have a drink or two.Translation: “You want a drink? YOU CAN’T HANDLE A DRINK!”
“The problem with alcohol is often one drink leads to another. Regularly drinking too much has health risks.”
To take part in the survey, call 0800 7313133 or e-mail healthtrainers@ acecic.nhs.ukOh, I’m tempted! I wonder if I can make their surveyors blanch..?