A training course in Worcestershire aims to make the countryside less "daunting" to urban dwellers.They’ve got a tough job on their hands, then…
The one-day event seeks to help people unfamiliar with the countryside learn to manage in the great outdoors.Well, if some firm thinks it can make a profit doing this, they’ve got my blessi…
Oh:
It will be run by Worcestershire County Council working with the Forestry Commission-led Grow With Wyre Landscape Partnership Scheme.*sigh*
Cuts? What cuts?
H/T: Henry Crun via email
16 comments:
Manage in the great outdoors?
Simples:
You go behind a bush, but watch where you squat as nettles can be painful in the rear.
Men relieving themselves standing up should be aware that the wind can cause blowback.
Don't eat yellow snow in winter, or mushrooms at any time.
Oh, and it smells nothing like the fabric conditioner you use.
"Men relieving themselves standing up should be aware that the wind can cause blowback" ..
And should stand well clear of any electrified fences whilst doing so ..
It should be noted that Sheep are NOT provided by the farmer for your "comfort" or "amusement" ..
BTW .. cow shit stinks .. so don't be tempted to go rolling around in it (unless you're a Limp Dumb MP) ..
Anon:it smells nothing like the fabric conditioner you use.
Bravo! (Or Brava!)
And neither, one assumes, will it resemble the plug-in air freshener so evocatively titled 'Open Windows'
Meanwhile, I'm struggling to work out exactly who could possibly fall into the target group for this event:
'Organisers say the course on 16 September is for people who are keen to explore green areas but are unsure how.'
It would almost be worth turning up on the day to see just what sort of specimens have signed up.
You'd be surprised. I was walking a rough path (rough enough for hill-walking boots) quite recently and came across a guy who had fallen over because one of his flip-flops caught under a rock.
Just tear up £50 notes, Julia. So many windows, so many to lick for some.
Peter Thaxter, project manager of Grow With Wyre,
Why did the word 'piano' just spring to mind?
The Wyre landscape is undergoing a dramatic restoration thanks to grants totalling £4 million from the Heritage Lottery Fund, SITA Trust, Natural Assets, Biffaward and GrantScape.
"Honey, I'm home! Guess what, we just scored four million!"
"Four million? Jesus! How are you going to spend that?"
"We'll think of something - the main thing is to make it seem like it's not enough. How about showing people what a forest is?"
" will anybody be stupid enough to buy that?"
"They gave us four million, didn't they? We have a template. You just tick some boxes - 'biodiversity' 'engagement' 'empower' skills' 'endangered' 'deforestation' - it writes itself"
"As long as you can get the time off for our Barbados trip, I'm not staycationing in some dreary wet yokel town"
I always thought that Worcestershire was more Conservative than most. Has something changed?
Twenty_Rothmans: You just tick some boxes - 'biodiversity' 'engagement' 'empower' skills' 'endangered' 'deforestation' - it writes itself
Brilliant.
Doesn't this go hand in hand with the similar schemes to encourage ethnic minorities out into the countryside from their inner city ghettoes a few years back? These people can't waste enough money. Saw a sign on the A21 this morning, one of those matrix movable signs with the helpful hint: TAKE WHILST TOWING.
Boggled!
should read TAKE CARE WHILST TOWING!
I always thought that Worcestershire was more Conservative than most. Has something changed?
Worcester City has been a tory/labour marginal since the '97 boundary changes, but I suppose it doesn't matter much what the voters think these days anyway - the council staff almost everywhere are all political class types now.
Far too many years ago, I was on an organised work trip (for 16 & 17 year old trainees) walking up Glen Clova. Now the bottom end of it isn't too bad but some of the girls still turned up in high heels. Insane.
@ Ranter ..
Could have been worse, I suppose ..
It could have read "TAKE BEECHAMS WHILST TOWING" ... ;)
Meanwhile, for non-towing drivers the sign might read .. "TAKE IMMODIUM WHILST DRIVING .... AS SHED-DRAGGERS ARE LIKELY TO GIVE YOU THE SHITS" .. :) :)
XX It will be run by Worcestershire County Council working with the Forestry Commission-led Grow With Wyre Landscape Partnership Scheme. XX
Hardly paragons of "wild countryside" themselves, are they?
Reminds me of a guy in Glencoe I knew. "I moved here for the wild country side"....and spent 90% of his time trying to dig up the mountain grass that insisted on growing in his rosebeds and lawn, and complaining about it.
@ Furor T ..
Anything containing the word "partnership" is automatically suspect ..
"Oh, and it smells nothing like the fabric conditioner you use."
/applause indeed :)
"It would almost be worth turning up on the day to see just what sort of specimens have signed up."
Heh! I think Ranter's right, and this is aimed at a particular demographic.
"...a guy who had fallen over because one of his flip-flops caught under a rock."
GAH!
"Hardly paragons of "wild countryside" themselves, are they?
"
Quite!
Ta for link.
Good to see that the quangocracy is alive and well, forming all those lovely inter-agency multi-disciplinary task force committees to raise awareness about ishoos.
When answering the call of nature, dock leaves are better for wiping than nettles.
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