Well Of Sympathy: Still Dry

A salesman is campaigning for a change in the law after the end of his finger was bitten off by a dog.

‘Salesman’? Ummm, does that mean..?

Yes. Yes, it does:

Richard Brereton was posting a leaflet through a letterbox…

Stop right there! I’ve heard enough! And so, it seems, have most of the commenters…

The 49-year-old needed surgery on his right hand last year and the injury has left him unable to write properly.

Now he wants dog owners to be forced to take more responsibility to protect people from their pets even when they are in their own homes.

And I want people like him to refrain from shoving their unwanted junk mail through my door, heedless of the ‘No circulars!’ sign (perhaps that’s too old-fashioned for them to understand?).

Mr Brereton said: "The police officer who came round said he was embarrassed he could not pursue the case further because of a lack of legislation."

Really? Gosh! It must be a crime-free paradise in Milton, mustn’t it? Or it’s a lot safer option than to get out on the front line and tackle drunks, I suppose…

"It could have been a child delivering a newspaper, and you hear a lot about postmen who end up in hospital because of dogs.

"If there had been a cage on the inside of the letterbox, or an outside letterbox, it wouldn't have happened. Even a 'beware of the dog' sign would have helped."

We’ve been here before. And no, I don’t want to have to put a cage up to receive all your junk mail – I DON’T WANT YOUR JUNK MAIL!

Mr Brereton added: "I have contacted Defra to say I think the law should be changed, particularly with regard to letterboxes.

"It must cost the NHS so much money dealing with attacks like these.

"Something should be done. If you have a dog it should not have access to your letterbox."

And if you have a business, it should not be regarded as a license to shove your unwanted junk mail through the doors of any house you please.

His wife is equally as truculent and clueless:

Mr Brereton's wife Jill, aged 46, who works in a coffee shop, said: "No consideration is given by the law to the people who are just going about their daily job.

"Why should they be punished when they are doing nothing wrong?"

Well, love, since I’m nothing but fair, here’s a little tip* for you for a Christmas present for dear hubby:

Might I suggest he uses it next time he’s shoving his unwanted junk mail in people’s letterboxes? Or better yet, stop doing that in the first place?

*I can say ‘tip’, can’t I? It doesn’t bring back bad memories, I hope?