Detectives are trying to trace a man who is suspected of ‘inappropriate sexual behaviour’ with horses in a field.*tutd*
I guess it’s the sort of thing men do when they don’t have a stable relationship…
DS Eric Halford, from Accrington CID, said: "Due to the sensitive nature of the offence, we cannot at this time release any detailed information but it is of a serious nature.
"The offender has been captured on camera and we are seeking to identify the male responsible for committing the offence as a matter of priority.
"It is imperative that anyone who knows this male comes forward with information that will assist the police in identifying him."So, what does he look like?
The man is described as tall with dark receding hair and possibly wearing striped clothing.Well, unless he’s Wally, and he’s VERY hard to pick out, that description won’t get you far since he could now change his clothing…
This one could get my vote for the best pun of the year award.
Stable relationship...see what you did there ;)
So what exactly is APPROPRIATE sexual behaviour with a horse then?
Must be the season for beastiality
Sounds a bit shy and repressed to me...mighta been put off by the horse comparing the size of his "equipment" to their last sexual partner. Yeah....that'd do it. Poor fella :(
Very serious indeed. He could get ten years for grooming a four year old.
That's the funniest thing I've read in ages
So this is a Man of No Appearance, then?
That kind of behaviour needs to be 'reined in' for the sake of public decency!
No doubt when's he caught it will be the 'mane' story of the week
I'd be interested to know what offence the police are thinking about. Many, many years ago I witnessed a man committing an "inappropriate act" on a horse (stallion) in a field. He ran off when he saw me. I caught him and arrested him for committing a breach of the peace contrary to common law.
I spoke to the lady who owned the "victim" and she assured me that no harm had been caused to her horse and that he probably enjoyed it! Good for the horse, not so good for me as potential charges of criminal damage and animal cruelty went out of the window.
After allowing him a couple of hours in the cells to contemplate his future, I released the man without charge. I never did work out whether or not a statutory offence had been committed.
Sorry I can't think of any decent puns to saddle you with. I've given you a little story and that's the mane thing.
"Detectives are trying to trace a man who is suspected of ‘inappropriate sexual behaviour’ with horses in a field" ..
Gad Sir ! .. and when they catch him, the bounder should dance at the end of a halter ..
Though to be honest, the whole tale sounds like a load of old pony to me .. ;)
"The man is described as tall with dark receding hair and possibly wearing striped clothing" ..
Was he also wearing a mask and carrying a bag marked "Carrots" ? .. ;)
It's not his fault,the horse was gagging for it.
I wonder if the newspaper editor deliberately made the article heading sound like a lonely hearts ad.. "Man wanted for inappropriate sexual behaviour..."
A scottish-born Detective said ..
"I think we're likely to see a lot mare o' this sort o' behaviour .. its the gubmints hoss-terity measures ye' see " ..
I knew you'd never let me down... ;)
"So what exactly is APPROPRIATE sexual behaviour with a horse then?"
Heh! It's pretty clumsy wording, isn't it?
"Must be the season for beastiality"
Not a whodunnit so much as 'Who's nobbin' Dobbin?'
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