Patients at three of the borough’s GP surgeries are being asked to volunteer to collect their stools for a scientific study-and as an incentive they are being offered £5.
A nice little earner just before Christmas?
The study being conducted by researchers for Public Health England is looking at different bacteria in the gut and how common the bacteria is in the community.
A handful of specially selected locations across the country have been chosen to take part and Newham was picked because it is one of the most ethnically diverse areas in England.
Diversity crap -
for real!
6 comments:
Even more proof that Newham is now a famous shithole.
I think if approached I could probably resist - much as I did when invited to go to an appointment for the biobank.
"We call this project 'Dump on the taxpayer'".
“Of course we will provide full instructions with the kits and as an incentive the study is willing to pay £5.00 for a sample so we hope that will go some way to overcoming any squeamishness“ she added.
Step 1: Lower trousers (unnecessary for teenage Africans who like the gangsta look) or raise kaftan/burka
Step 2: Squat
Step 3: Place left hand under anus.
Step 4: Push until you feel something warm
Step 5: Place contents in bag
Step 6: Put bag in envelope and lick to seal
Step 7: Take to surgery and coin in
...
“We need as many people as possible to participate so that the results will give a time picture,” said Dr McNulty.
"We don't have a budget for this, so we don't give a flying fuck what it costs, or what it might achieve - and neither do you, as you did not ask what a 'time picture' is."
Public Health England would not confirm that the next study would involve belly button lint or earwax.
Those with a supply of Senna Pods will get multiple 'samples' from one sitting.
Handed out to other members of the 'family/tribe' to collect their 'reward', I can envisage a 'nice-little-earner' here, from the toils of a single person.
How long, I wonder, before a local rag reports: "A member of a local travelling family was accused of mugging a local dog-walker for the contents of her pooper-scooper"?
This is the kind of work I did for 30 years. Animal and human.
The last time I was involved in an attempt to set up a human trial (testing The Stuff That Fixes Guts), we were told that offering money to volunteers was absolutely unethical and we wouldn't be allowed to do it.
That was the grounds for blocking the trial put forward by an NHS ethical committee. Seems their own rules are less strict when it's their own experiments.
Diet will affect their results enormously as will genetics (some bacteria stick to specific bits on gut cells, ansd if your cess don't have those bits, they can't stick).
What I suspect they could be looking for includes a link between 'bad' diet and 'bad' bacteria, proof that The Diverse have healthier guts so we should embrace other people's ways, perhaps looking at whether people are mixing as they should (they'd cross contaminate each other if they do) or perhaps 'proof' that smoking gives you the squits.
But then, it's the Medics. They'll have already written the conclusions.
"Even more proof that Newham is now a famous shithole. "
LOL!
"How long, I wonder, before a local rag reports: "A member of a local travelling family was accused of mugging a local dog-walker for the contents of her pooper-scooper"?"
A nice little earner indeed!
"This is the kind of work I did for 30 years. Animal and human."
I did wonder...
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