Wednesday, 26 March 2014

Unsurprisingly, The Victim Shows More Common Sense Than The Police…

Despite her ordeal, the victim does not blame landlady June North or the bar, which was then ordered by Humberside Police and licensing bosses to close at midnight.
Well, quite! Because it wasn’t the landlady who attacked her, and the bar was just the venue where it happened.
The 90-second alleged assault by a young woman and her boyfriend is one of a catalogue of problems at Corner Bar, in Southgate, since 2012, including:
• A woman being punched in the face, dragged to the floor and kicked by her friend.
• A doorman being kicked in the genitals by a woman after he told her to stop drinking.
• An innocent bystander being hit in the face by a glass thrown in a beer garden brawl.
• A man suffering a black eye and fat lip after another customer threw a glass at him.
• An 18-year-old boy ripping a condom machine off the toilet wall and smashed a sink after drinking 18 bottles of Stella Artois.
However, East Riding Council's licensing sub-committee has approved Miss North's application to lift the restrictions and, in three weeks, the bar will return to 2am closing.
So, it’s fairly obvious that the problem is people behaving badly. But not to those who, it seems, are paid to resolve these issues, but who only want a quiet life without having to do any work:
Daniel Guiver, Humberside Police solicitor, blamed Miss North's "poor management" at the bar. He accused Miss North and her staff of failing to intervene sooner.
What, should they need to be psychic? Set up a ‘Minority Report’ bar staff facility?

This, from a police ‘force’ that regularly needs to be prodded into action against actual crimes, is laughable.
The woman and her boyfriend were thrown out of the bar and arrested an hour later. An ambulance was called, but the victim was instead taken to Hull Royal Infirmary by taxi.
Her nose was picked off the floor and packed in ice but, following surgery, went gangrenous and had to be removed.
Remember that bit about the taxi. It’ll have meaning later.
Mr Guiver said: "No one tried to detain the suspected offenders, they were allowed to leave. That is not good management."
No, indeed. It’s police work. Why on earth should anyone else risk being arrested for trying to do it?

Apparently, they should have not only forcibly restrained the offenders, but also the victim, to prevent her getting a taxi. At least, according to Mr Guiver:
"Packing the nose in ice, although not the wrong thing to do, caused frostbite and the delay in getting medical treatment could have contributed to the failing of the attachment."
Amazing! He’s clearly not just a police solicitor – he’s a plastic surgeon too!


Anonymous said...

Here we are a t a more local level:

Twenty_Rothmans said...

Sans Minimarket on London Road selling a 20-year-old man a bottle of cider before he joined the group of under-age suspects outside the shop on the evening the incidents took place.

Chief Inspector Tim Cook of Kent Police said: "Reasonable steps were not taken to either confirm who the alcohol was going to be supplied to and their ages, or to simply just refuse the sale."

I hope that Tim is interrogated in a soundproof cell for three days about his intentions every time he buys something alcoholic. Especially a whole bottle of cider.

"There is a clear link between the intoxication of these youths and the resultant crime and disorder" said Chief Inspector Cook.
Yes, they would have otherwise been at fucking choir practice!

Chief Inspector Tim Cook's Theorem:
C != B; even if A=0; and
C != B + D; even if A=D

Cook's Theorem can be applied to many different scenarios, and is graven in stone in police manuals. Consider the following scenarios:
a Drunken yobs belt innocent boy
b Yobs belt innocent boy

As is obvious, scenario b is a logical fallacy, as:
Crime = Drunken + Crime
By applying Cook's Theorem, we see:
Crime != Crime; where Drunken = 0

Meanwhile, back at the Sevenoaks Daily Journal of Despair

"There is a clear link between the intoxication of these youths and the German invasion of Poland in 1939" said Chief Inspector Cook.

Anonymous said...

@Twenty Rothmans: I have a simpler formula:

Chief Inspector Tim Cook = An utter wanker and a prime example of everything wrong with British policing.

Anonymous said...

"...and a prime example of everything wrong with British policing."

Plod have always maintained a practical business formula, Anon. The cost of illegal drugs is kept at a premium by selling the evidence back to the dealers. The increased level of crime necessary to support the higher street prices, is simply under-reported. Voilà!

Anonymous said...

@ Anon 0840: That is just utter mentalist tosh matey! get a grip on reality fer fuck sake.

Anonymous said...

Anon at 0840 is not really Anon,it's the well-known rambling nutter MTG.
He has actually found a really corrupt police officer and is making hay on several blogs trumpeting his downfall.What must really stick in your throat Melv old bean is firstly he was shopped by his honest colleagues and secondly he was a fellow Yorkshireman.
Perhaps in between snorting and re-selling drugs he was also responsible for the spate of lawnmower thefts in your area too?

Andy said...

Do we need a daily reminder that your chum MTG had his lawnmower stolen? A repetitious theme that only 'sane' people are those willing to blindly support police is just as boring.

JuliaM said...

"Here we are a t a more local level"

Sadly, there's a lot of this around.. :/

"I hope that Tim is interrogated in a soundproof cell for three days about his intentions every time he buys something alcoholic. "

He probably sips prune juice. Unsweetened.