Friday, 21 February 2014

And When Convicted, The Perpetrator Gets Another £20,000...

...for cleaning up the neighbourhood.


Twenty_Rothmans said...

I don't know about £20K, but I'd buy him a beer.

Look at this worthless serf. Duke - Duke of what? Labourshire, I'd posit.

Twenty_Rothmans said...

The original article is much more comprehensive:

Lord Warburton had lived in Lewisham for more than 20 years and was a well-known character in the area.

Named (and created) Earl at birth, a wag at Harrow elevated him to Duke and the name stuck, although his father was still alive.

After Harrow, he went up to Cambridge. Warburton took his Tripos in the Classics, quipping 'They're the oldest extant languages in the world, and we all know the world's oldest profession'.

Tiring of his family estate, Warburton took a pied a terre in South East London to pursue business interests aligned with his character and upbringing.

Just a few hours after Valentine's Day ended he was murdered by a number of gentlemen who entered his flat and requested money. It is not thought that it was related to a debt incurred at one of the many clubs of which he was a member.

Detective Inspector Murphy from the Met's Homicide and Major Crime Command said: "It is now two years since Lord Warburton's death. We are particularly keen to speak to anyone who was in the area at the time of the attack and who may have seen or heard anything suspicious, as opposed to, say, someone who was in Borneo at the time and had never been to England and was bored silly and didn't hear any screaming.

"We are also keen to speak to anyone who may have worked for him in the weeks or months leading up to his attack. We have thus far interviewed his chauffeur, both butlers, three of his maids and the gamekeeper.

"We are so keen that we would like to squander £20,000 that some plebs working for minimum wage earned to find out who killed the Duke. Sorry, Earl."

Anonymous said...

I wonder why the police have put a reward on this murder and not all the others in vibrant south-east London? Probably because he's scum no-one decent will come forward out of civic duty.

ivan said...

Another thing that should be asked is 'why is he wearing a shoulder holster?'

JuliaM said...

"I don't know about £20K, but I'd buy him a beer."

Red Stripe, I'm guessing..? ;)

"...who killed the Duke. Sorry, Earl."

Sounds like a song lyric... ;)

"Probably because he's scum no-one decent will come forward out of civic duty."

Would anyone, even if he wasn't scum?