Monday 3 March 2014

The Family That Fights Together…

Philippa White, prosecuting, said the officer was sitting in his car as part of a team securing a crime scene.
He saw two women, one wearing a white vest and pyjama bottoms and the other a white onesie, spill out of a nearby house fighting. The older women got on top of the other, who was face down, took hold of her hair and started smashing her face into the step.
Mrs White said: “Donna Matthews was the woman on top and the other female was her daughter.”
A lovely scene, I’m sure you’ll agree? And these two visions of Northern beauty were closely followed by three young children, who piled in with as much ferocity as their adult kin…
She said when the officer took hold of Matthews to stop the fight, the three children attacked him.
She added: “He pulled the children off and pushed them into the house. The level of aggression shown and the language used by the children took him completely by surprise. The adults had stopped fighting and were sitting on the floor.”
Matthews had a black eye and a cut to her nose and was heavily intoxicated. She refused to say what the fight with her daughter was about.
*gets popcorn*
Mrs White said: “The officer told her she was under arrest and the children set about him again."
*giggles*
Jonathan Taylor, defending, said the daughter, Jamie Humphries, had turned up late at night and the two women had been drinking together. They started to argue and things spiralled out of control. He said: “Her daughter went for her and she suffered severe injuries to her eyes and nose where.(sic)
“The fight spilled out on to the streets. Up until that point, my client could have argued self-defence but when she took hold of her daughter’s head and tried to smash it against the step, she went too far.”
An honest lawyer! You don’t see that very often, do you?
Mr Taylor said Miss Humphries did not have any significant injuries and accepted she was equally to blame for the behaviour.
He said: “The children were obviously very concerned for their mother.”
Mmmmm. I’ll just bet.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hopefully the state can spunk several more hundreds and thousands of taxpayer pounds on the useless meat sacks under the Tories latest 'diversion programme'. Just pull their breeding units out and sterilise all of them - stop the cycle continuing

Woman on a Raft said...

This is what happens when Jack Straw has been your MP for 36 years, preceeded by Barbara Castle.

Your constituents have their moral compass smashed at the hands of the state - Straw's very own hands for much of it - and descend in to barbarism.

wiggia said...

Obviously a popular pastime in the area ?

http://www.lancashiretelegraph.co.uk/news/10964314.Blackburn_mum_brutally_attacked_by_brother/?ref=ar

The Blocked Dwarf said...

I have the horrible feeling that Johnathan Taylor Esq will find himself reported to the Bar Council, or worse still The Daily Mail, for even insinuating that his client might have just, maybe perhaps, gone a tad too far. That is insulting to the Chav community and is blaming the victim!


JuliaM said...

"Hopefully the state can spunk several more hundreds and thousands of taxpayer pounds on the useless meat sacks under the Tories latest 'diversion programme'."

*sighs* *looks at clock*

Nearly time to go help pay for it all!

"This is what happens when Jack Straw has been your MP for 36 years, preceeded by Barbara Castle."

Other places have similarly descended into barbarity, though. Can't place all the blame on one man (and woman).

"Obviously a popular pastime in the area ?"

Blood is thicker than, errr, that stuff, y'know, comes out the taps.

Innit?