Saturday 31 January 2015

“What Killed The Dinosaur, Mummy? Was It A Meteorite?”

“No, sweetie. It was the march of the ecomentalists through our institutions…”
He was erected in the aftermath of the Winter of Discontent and has stood tall through the governments of six prime ministers.
But now Dippy, the Natural History Museum’s beloved dinosaur cast, is to be moved from his spot in the entrance hall where he has welcomed wide-eyed visitors since 1979.
In his place will hang the huge skeleton of a blue whale, the biggest creature on Earth, and the largest example of its kind in the world.
Oh no! Why is he going? I'll miss him, he's always the first thing I see when I go to my favourite place in London.
“If I am honest there has been concern about Dippy going,” said Sir Michael, “But a lot of people do not realise that it is not actually a real dinosaur whereas the whale will be the real thing. Which I think is important. ”
Oh. So…it’s all a question of accuracy? Well, that's a shame, but who could really argue ab...

Oh.
Sir Michael added: “As the largest known animal to have ever lived on Earth, the story of the blue whale reminds us of the scale of our responsibility to the planet.
“This makes it the perfect choice of specimen to welcome and capture the imagination of our visitors, as well as marking a major transformation of the Museum.
“This is an important and necessary change. As guardians of one of the world’s greatest scientific resources, our purpose is to challenge the way people think about the natural world, and that goal has never been more urgent.”
Ah! Right. Got it, now.

Sorry, kiddiewinks, but Dippy has to go so we can show you what awful bastards you’ll all grow up to be if you don’t do something about global warming & the rape of Gaia.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Where have they put my favourite giant armadillo, the one roughly the size and shape of a VW Beetle? Visiting it always elicited why and wtf responses more than any other exhibit even if it was tucked away in a corner although Jurassic Park did make dinosaurs fashionable. Blue whale? Meh! Seventies replay of Save the Whale piety: it was a crap decade.

Uncle Badger said...

What this idiot is actually doing is transforming a natural history museum into one of anthropology.

It is certain that, in decades to come, visitors will shake their heads and marvel at the collective nervous breakdown undergone by Western society in the closing years of the 20th Century, following which it lost its self-confifdence and replaced it with a superstitious fear of catastrophe being visited on it for an imagined hubris.

bobo said...

Same thing at the National Maritime Museum: nowadays it's all about the evils of colonialism and slavery. The ships barely get a bloody look in.

JuliaM said...

"Where have they put my favourite giant armadillo.."

The glyptodon? Has he gone too now?

"What this idiot is actually doing is transforming a natural history museum into one of anthropology."

Sadly, yes. The proposed mount for the blue whale is awesome, but why not build a new wing?

"Same thing at the National Maritime Museum: nowadays it's all about the evils of colonialism and slavery. "

No wonder no one learns anything anymore!