Dear, Dear Yasmin Again…

…what? No! Not that one! This one:

A Bournemouth woman who ‘glassed’ a stranger in a nightclub has been given a second chance after breaching the conditions of a suspended sentence order.

There’s a shocker, eh?

On Friday, the 21-year-old- who lost her job as an estate agent over the attack - admitted three breaches of the order, in that she had demonstrated “unacceptable behaviour” during unpaid work assignments on three occasions – on September 12 and twice on October 3.

But she’s a victim, poor dear! Don’t worry, the judge will ensure that you don’t have to face the consequences of your actions:

The judge said he had borne in mind details of Thomas’ past which had not been read out in court to spare her embarrassment, but that he would not allow the court to be influenced by the “public response to the original sentence” .

Perish the thought!

The details of the behaviour which incurred the breaches were not heard, but Tom Evans said in mitigation that there were “contributory factors” including “press reports” of Thomas’ original sentencing which left her “feeling like she couldn’t breathe”.

Blimey, I need an even smaller violin!

He said her mother had suffered a stroke on one of the days when a breach occurred, and that she was afraid she might have cancer. “She accepts her behaviour was unacceptable,” he said.

“As is clear from her letter, she says there was no excuse for her behaviour.”

But you’ve just given a couple anyway! What, is it a purely reflex action for defence briefs now?