Tweet Of The Month

The consistently amazing James Woods proves he doesn't need scriptwriters to hand the MSM their arses....

Post Title Of The Month

Bucko tells 'public health' to stand and deliver:

Quote Of The Month

HeadRambles on the gift that keeps on giving - Gordon Brown's incompetence:

"Now this idiot was a Prime Minister – a leader of his country – yet he doesn’t know the difference between tax avoiders and tax evaders? There are already penalties and prison sentences for tax evaders because tax evasion is generally illegal. Tax avoidance is perfectly legal as are most if not all the accounts mentioned in the so called Paradise Papers. He is implying that those mentioned in the papers were doing something illegal which they weren’t. If he is worried about tax avoiders then that’s because tax laws are incredibly complex and full of loopholes. Adding yet more laws is hardly going to change anything, and if anything will just make things worse."

Post Of The Month

Al Jahom celebrates 'Equal Pay Day' in his own inimitable style...

Not A Fit Mother...

Leeds Crown Court heard the victim of Natalie Dennison’s violence had been looking after another woman’s baby while she went out drinking with Dennison and another woman to the Red Lion in Heckmondwike on the evening of November 28, 2015.

Martin Robertshaw, prosecuting, said when the three women returned they found the baby, who was teething, was crying and blamed the babysitter for not looking after her properly.

Dennison pushed her on to the couch before grabbing her hair and dragging her into the kitchen, punching her in the face on the way. She was “subjected to a sustained assault” with Dennison punching her to various parts of her body. At one stage she was pushed into a dog cage before she was allowed outside.

Dennison told her not to report it saying she knew what they could do to her.

Lovely!

The court heard from a probation officer that Dennison blamed drink for her actions.

She regretted what had happened and since then she had stopped drinking and was now in a settled relationship.

Ah, the usual excuses. And why are they the usual excuses? Because they work, of course!

Dennison, 36 of Howarth Lane, Lockwood, admitted assault and was sentenced to nine months in prison suspended for 18 months.

She was also given a two month curfew from 7pm to 7am and ordered to pay £200 compensation.

Judge Geoffrey Marson QC told her it was a “nasty and unpleasant attack” which caused her victim great fear but he accepted the delay in the case was not her fault and in the 17 months since she had taken steps to address her drinking.

And she gets to keep the child, of course.

On The Contrary, I Think It Is Known...

Michael Camp had wet himself and was found to be three-and-a-half times over the limit when he was pulled over by police.

They had spotted his car weaving down a road in Spalding, Lincolnshire, in November 2015.

He was taken to a police station for a second breath test, but was unsteady on his feet and collapsed while trying four times to blow into an intoximeter machine, meaning he couldn’t give a sample.

Cue 'OUTRAGE' at the lenient, ineffectual court system!

District Judge Peter Veits had decided at Lincoln magistrates’ court that his drunken state was a ‘reasonable excuse’ for his failure.

He was allowed to carry on driving because the judge said he had not ‘wilfully’ refused to co-operate.

Disgraceful! Outrageous! These soft judges who....

Wait. Hang on. I've seen 'Police Interceptors'. I know what you're supposed to do when you can't get a breath sample.

Rules state that police can request urine or blood samples if the breath test device is not available or is not working correctly or if the driver is medically unable to give a breath test.

It is not known why one was not taken in this case.

Hmmm, let me guess. Sheer incompetence?

...an appeal, costing thousands, is now under way.

It should be taken out of the wages of the idiots who didn't follow procedure!

Don't You Already Have A Full Collection?

Carl Kingsley, mitigating, explained to Kirklees magistrates that his client committed the offence on impulse.

He said the 35-year-old has issues with his accommodation and poor health, having been in and out of hospital due to his deep vein thrombosis, blood clots and abscesses.

He explained: “This is as a result of years of taking intravenous Class A drugs.

“He still takes a bag a day of heroin, some crack and some spice, none of which will do him any good.

“Two weeks ago he was badly assaulted and had his front teeth knocked out.

“He’s been diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia and personality disorder, which may be drug-induced, a drug habit and a rotten record.”

Well, this should be straightforward then.

Magistrates ordered a full probation report on Gair, of Clarkson Street in Ravensthorpe, prior to sentencing him on November 13.

Oh.

Yes, indeed, a man who's made more appearances in the dock than Bob Hope made farewell tours, and they have to call for yet another report before they can impose the feeble sentence they have at their disposal.

And people wonder why there's no faith in the justice system?

Steakhouse Chain Miller & Carter Are Winning The PR Game!

Reality star Marnie Simpson has hit out at steakhouse chain Miller & Carter claiming they refused to seat her for lunch while she was wearing a tracksuit.

The 25-year-old tweeted it was 'discrimination against the lower class' and believed she wasn't being served because she wasn't 'posh enough'.

'Come and dine with us - we guarantee you won't be seated next to a chav loudmouth.'

Well, that's a winner for me!

She Certainly Sounds Like One To Me...

A man in his 20s was attacked in Twyford when a female dog walker, who identified herself as an officer, barged past him.

She later approached him and told him he was under arrest before punching him several times in the head.

So unlike a modern day policewoman!

Police say it is "not clear" whether the woman is an actual officer.

Hmmm, rude, aggressive.... It's hard to say. Does she like having her authority challenged?

The woman said she had "warned" the man about his dog on a previous occasion before the attack on 10 October, police said.

Officers added the man was assaulted after asking to see her identification.

That clinches it!

"There's No Risk" Say The Women...

...who sit in comfortable offices where no agitated mental patient or junkie will ever spit at them:

Rachel Halford, the deputy chief executive of the Hepatitis C Trust, said she agreed that police should be protected from health risks, but rejected the force’s implication that the virus could be transmitted through spitting.

“Hepatitis C is a blood-borne virus and is therefore only transmitted through blood-to-blood contact. The virus cannot be transmitted via spit,” she said.

“Stigma and misinformation about hepatitis C and other blood-borne viruses is a key challenge faced by patients, who are already disproportionately from the most marginalised and disadvantaged groups in society. Many patients report feeling ‘dirty’ and experiencing social exclusion due to misinformation about transmission risks.”

Yes, they are the victims. Even when they are facing arrest for their actions.

Kat Smithson, the director of policy and campaigns at NAT (National Aids Trust), said Avon and Somerset’s claims about HIV and hepatitis C were wrong and stigmatised people with the conditions.

“HIV is irrelevant to the debate about spit hoods because spitting simply is not an HIV transmission route,” she said.

“In the history of the epidemic, there has never been a case of HIV being passed on through spitting, even when the spit contains blood.”

They said it couldn't be passed on by visiting a dentist too.

According to Avon and Somerset police, the restraints will be used only when a person threatens to spit, has attempted to spit or has already spat, and only when officers’ body-worn cameras are switched on.

Despite those safeguards, Deborah Coles, the director of Inquest, raised concerns over their introduction to another police force. “There should be no doubt spit hoods are a use of force and have the potential to cause acute trauma and injury,” she said.

“We know from our work that mental health concerns or other difficulties often sit behind agitated behaviour. Our fear is spit hoods will become the default response and used against vulnerable detainees.

“We had hoped that after the restraint death of James Herbert, Avon and Somerset police would have prioritised safer, more humane policing methods with a focus on de-escalation and detainee welfare.”

I prefer to concentrate on police officer welfare, love. Since I'm paying for them.

It's Called 'A Lead'...

...maybe you should try it?

Gary Vicary, from Roe Drive in Norwich, said he felt “victimised” by the university as he was unable to stop his dog Monty from attacking the animal.

If you can't control your dog, you shouldn't have one.

Mr Vicary said the campus and Earlham Park were the only places where he felt safe walking through due to CCTV coverage of the area.

CCTV is everywhere these days.

“It’s really important for me because it’s right on my doorstep and I have been using that route for four years,” he said.

Ah, entitlement. It's a toss up between who displays it more often, the disabled or dog owners.

Say, this guy doesn't own a bicycle as well, does he?

Oh, Twitter....

...how to puncture the snowflakes & rub  salt into the wounds of the Outrage Brigade!

H/T: @ImaginaryPengy

Is The 'Metro' Hiring 'Daily Mail' Staff...?

...that's no cheetah!

Sunday Funnies...

And I thought it was Ready-Brek that made kids glow in the dark!

"Where's the streetwise Hercules to fight the rising odds?"

Ah. Here he is:

Andy, who is in his 50s, was attacked after going to the aid of a young female shopworker who was challenging Hoey outside Iceland in Poole Road, Westbourne, on August 7.

Not only is he in his 50s, he's disabled.

Andy, who is still awaiting test results for Hepatitis C, told the Daily Echo: “This guy suspect started pushing the woman so I intervened.

“I had hold of him, I was trying to restrain him. All I came in for was to buy some lemons, now I’ve got this guy swearing and spitting at me.

“He said ‘******* let go of me you old ****’. If he hadn’t called me old, I’d have probably let him go, but I thought ‘you definitely aren’t getting let go now’.

/applause

After Hoey fled the scene on foot, Andy - who suffered a stroke eight years ago - decided to get into his mobility car and search for him.

“It had been 20 minutes and no police had turned up,” he said.

Who's surprised? Not me.

More than two hours later, while sitting in the Westbourne pub with pals, Andy spotted Hoey crossing the road. “I said to my mate, ‘ I cannot believe it, that’s him’, ‘I’m going to hit him as hard as I can, the police aren’t coming.’

My mate told me to give the police another ring. The operator said she knew about the earlier assault. I told her that unless police got here quicker than the 20 minutes it took them to not turn up earlier, I was going to hit him. The police arrived within two minutes and arrested the guy.’

The only surprising thing is they didn't nick him for making the threat!

Andy, who attended Hoey’s sentencing, now says 12 months is just not long enough.

“This guy has a string of convictions, he is dangerous and I’m sure he will seriously hurt someone, it is just a matter of time,” he said.

“I’m annoyed about the way the whole thing was handled. If I hadn’t been in court the judge wouldn’t even have known about the tests I’ve been waiting for. If a guy who knows he has Hepatitis bites you, then he is using a weapon.”

Andy for Crime Commissioner!

And This Is Why It's Called 'Terrorism'...

A scuffle on the Tube, the transport system goes into lockdown mode, armed police scramble like they were starring in their own disaster movie, celebrity idiots Tweet panic to their followers...

...and then there's the inevitable climbdown, and the 'nothing to see here, carry on!' message. In the run up to Christmas.

Am I the only one suspicious?

Still, the British sense of humour is intact:

Mind Your Language!

An independent review into Bradford council’s taxi licensing service was carried out by Leeds council inspectors and its findings published this week.

This'll be good!

The Bradford council service, which deals with 330 Hackney Carriage drivers and 3,970 Private Hire drivers, is responsible for licensing and inspecting vehicles to ensure they do not pose a risk to the public. Bradford council now asks drivers who want a taxi licence to speak to an officer in person rather than by telephone.

It was urged to take action over concerns that new applicants were asking family members to complete forms and answer questions for them over the phone. The review said that 40 per cent of those who applied for a licence and attended an appointment could not complete the application because they failed the English comprehension and literacy test or due to wrong or incomplete information.

Hmmm, It's all coming back to me...

The Leeds city council authors said these concerns “require genuine consideration”. It said: “Part of the English comprehension tests involves how the applicant responds to simple questions over the telephone so if another family member is doing this on behalf of the applicant the test is being compromised.

“Certainly that would be exposed when the applicant comes in for his appointment and has difficulty answering further questions with an officer over the counter, but that could be valuable time wasted if the applicant will never be able to pass the English comprehension test.”

Well, quite! So, a damning indictment of the council?

Coun Sarah Ferriby of Bradford council said: “The council has always had confidence in its taxi licensing service but it’s great to see that an independent review has found that such confidence is fully justified. We have received some complaints about the service and we have answered those issues that have been raised.”

Hmmm. I think the drivers aren't the only ones who could do with English language lessons.

H/T: Tommy Robinson via Twitter

Let's See The Media Pack Surround Paul Baxter And Rip Chunks From Him...

...just like his fighting dogs did to a family pet:

Paul Baxter, the owner of the dogs, says he is devastated by what happened, and claims that the dogs are usually gentle with his three-year-old daughter.

Christ! It's bred! No doubt the child isn't trained well either...

...my dogs have never acted like this before. They are good with other dogs....

Really? That wouldn't be quite the truth, would it?

A spokesman for Greater Manchester Police said the two dogs have now been seized under the Dangerous Dogs Act (1991).

Police said Mr Baxter has not yet been arrested, as the investigation is ongoing.

Perhaps if you'd acted on the other incidents, this wouldn't have happened. Pity the owners of the beagle can't sue you for negligence.

Mr Baxter said whatever the outcome, he won’t see his dogs again. He added: “Even if they aren’t put down they will have to be rehomed. How could I ever walk them around here again after this? Imagine the daily abuse we would get.

“I’m gutted - those dogs were my pride and joy.”

Yeah, sure. You took them to obedience classes, taught them to fetch and...

Oh?

Now, why would anyone want a 'family pet' that can hang off a tyre? Or one with illegally-cropped ears?

He told the Manchester Evening News : “Nothing like this has ever happened before. I don’t understand why this happened.”

It happened because you have an even lower IQ than your fighting dogs, as is evident from the semi-literate scrawl that is your Facebook page (which you've still not had the sense to delete).

And to pile injustice on top of injustice...

It could take up to six months before a decision is made on the future of Deebo and Loki.

The taxpayer is feeding these mutts at great expense while the wheels of justice creak lethargically into life. The police should have taken them into the front garden and shot them both. Or perhaps employed mighty hunter Venables to 'keep us all safe'?

Once Again, The Police Prove Themselves Ignorant Of The Law...

The couple were visiting the town from their home in Milton Keynes at the time and were walking to their car after a day at the beach when the bull mastiff approached.

“Before anyone knew what was happening it had its jaws clamped around Zack’s leg,” said their daughter Rebecca Atherton.

Horrified, the pair tried to pull the dog off Zack but when the bull mastiff growled they had to pull back for fear of their own safety.

That's a significant thing.

Miss Atherton said: “Eventually the owner of the dog came over and pulled his dog off Zack, but then proceeded to put his hood up and walk away after the attack, not taking any responsibly at all for what happened.

My parents were horrified – they are very shaken up at the moment.”

And they reported it to the police. Who fif as they usually do, and tried to palm it off on someone else:

The attack is being investigated by the dog warden.

Who, if he has any sense, will pass this hot potato straight back:

The couple informed Dorset Police and officers referred the incident to the borough council’s dog warden.

You see, Dorset Police are too idle or thick to realise that this is, indeed, a matter for them:

When the public know the law better than the police claim to, aren't we entitled to ask why we continue to pay them?

Call Them What They Are...

...bums and druggies:

Southend is being swamped by rough sleepers from other parts of Essex because...

Oh, I just can't imagine!

...they receive so much help from the borough’s charities, a councillor has revealed.

While we have large numbers of residents willing to give help to those in need, some neighbouring councils are said to be taking advantage of this generosity and fuelling a growing problem for the town.

Ann Holland, councillor responsible for culture, tourism and the economy, said other local authorities in the county are supplying the homeless with subsidised train tickets to come to Southend to be helped by the town’s many charities and volunteers.

And this is why it's become impossible to walk down the high street without being hassled for money. Great job, do-gooders!

Never Ask A Question To Which You Don't Know The Answer...

...I thought that was the first thing barristers were taught?

Giving evidence, Pc Kinsey confirmed that police attended and searched the premises.

Upon entering a shed in the back garden, the officer said he saw “lots of blood splatters” on the wall and “fresh breast feathers” on the floor.

Under cross-examination, when the officer was asked if he was an “expert in feathers”, he confirmed he had a lifelong hobby of keeping chickens.

Heh!

A Mystery, Wrapped In A Riddle, Inside An Enigma...

The family of a man who was electrocuted by overhead power lines at Preston train station are demanding answers as to how he died.

Well, start with how he came to be on the tracks?

Anthony Armstrong, 33, is believed to suffered fatal injuries after running across the tracks and climbing onto a freight train parked in the depot.

Minutes earlier he had been quizzed by officers from the British Transport police (BTP) on suspicion of stealing a bottle of wine from the station shop.

Ah!

...his devastated sister Carly says the family have unanswered questions and want to know the circumstances of his death.

Errr, what more do you want to know? Was he a fine, upstanding, law-abiding sort or chap? One not used to dealing with the police?

Carly said: “I spoke to him at 6.30pm. He was asking me to come and join them.

“He was very happy and joking with me on the phone.

“He was on a tag and he wanted to get home.”

Ah. So much for that, then.

And it seems they can't even honour their fallen with the usual chavshrine:

To compound Carly’s misery, she says flowers left at the station in Anthony’s memory have been moved four times.

She said: “They’ve moved the flowers to where the weekend drunks walk.

“When I went to view his body, the police brought the flowers to the mortuary.

“I wanted to put them where the freight train is, it’s nowhere near the public, the public can’t even get there but the excuse was in case people decide to run across two train tracks to look at them.”

 Well, the place does seem to have more than its fair share of cretins. Can't be too careful!

H/T: anon in comments

Obstinate, Or Just Thick...?

Lisa Lowder, 30, of Minerva Street in Bulwell, has not been able to get her six-year-old daughter into Springfield Primary School in Lawton Drive, Bulwell, which is outside of the catchment area in where she lives.

Isabelle has now been out of school for 10 months. She said: "I obviously don't want my child to be out of school, that is the last thing I want. But I am a single mum with four children. How am I meant to be in two places at once? It is just impossible."

It's entirely your own fault that you are 'forced to be in two places at once', love. No-one else's.

"When three of them got a place I didn't think it would be a problem and I don't want to have to take my child to a school ages away, I don't know how it would be possible.

"This is why I have been waiting for a place at the same school as my other children. I am not trying to cause problems, I just want what is best for them."

'What's best for them' would include a father. You didn't seem to bothered about that.

Nor about compromise to ensure this situation doesn't drag on.

Alison Michalska, corporate director for children and adults at Nottingham City Council, said: “Ms Lowder decided to remove her four children from school in the middle of an academic year without making arrangements for where they would go next.

"Having moved house, she then applied to a non-catchment school and we were able to find places for three, but unfortunately the year group for her daughter Isabelle is full. She remains on the waiting list there at her mum’s request, but this is controlled by the school as an academy.

“We have urged Ms Lowder to work with us by making the full six preferences on her application form and to ensure that a catchment school is included. However on the two occasions she has applied, Ms Lowder has only selected the same out-of-catchment school for Isabelle."

So what is it, is she hopelessly thick? Or foes she just believe, as all these women seem to believe, that if she stubbornly refuses to change, everyone else will change to accommodate her desires?

Just imagine what the children will grow up into, with this example for a mother?

I Don't Think This Was What Andy Warhol Had In Mind...

Primary school teacher Paul Pawlowski, 32, was left horrified when he stumbled upon the offensive items while browsing the UK site.

...when he (probably didn't) said everyone would be famous for 15 minutes.

Mr Pawlowski told The Sun: 'I was horrified to see these things listed for sale.

'This is Amazon, a global company.

'OK they are put up there by third party sellers. But you would think Amazon would have some filter on what words you can use. It's truly shocking.'

 Really? Why, did they leap into your basket and force you to buy them?

Amazon confirmed the items were no longer for sale.

A spokesman said: 'All Marketplace sellers must follow our selling guidelines and those who don’t will be subject to action including potential removal of their account. The products in question are no longer available.'

Congratulations, Mr Pawlowski, you win Snowflake Of The Minute award.  Now budge up, there's going to be another along in a minute...

When Your Postgraduate Course In Women's Studies...

...writes cheques your body can't cash:

Sam Saia, 37, said she had politely asked the man to move his legs while she was sitting on the N train on Thursday, when he erupted into a violent rage, and began swearing at her, threatening her and punched her in the mouth. Thankfully, a fellow straphanger intervened and grabbed the attacker, forcing him off at the next stop. But Saia says she lives in fear of seeing the suspect again, who has not yet been arrested. 'That b*****d is still out there,' she told The New York Post on Friday after her commute home. 'I'm afraid he might retaliate. But I'm not going to back down.'

You go girl! What's the worst that could happen?

H/T: Bobby via Twitter

But They Mostly Seem To Be Aspiring Footballers And Rappers, Mayor...?

We need to get the message across to young Londoners that their lives are too valuable to risk by carrying a knife. They are our future musicians, artists, sportsmen and women, comedians, scientists, politicians, entrepreneurs and role models. Our city and our society need them alive.

Do we? I'm not too sure.

We need Londoners to hear this message from the people they most look up to, so I am delighted that some powerful voices are speaking out today. From leading grime artists, like Yungen, to the blogger The Slumflower, these are the people young Londoners listen to and look up to. They have used their talent to achieve great things and to realise their potential.

Now, far be it from me to rubbish blogging, but...'great things'?

And grime music? What the hell has that ever done to be described in those terms?

Juxtaposition Redux...

Well, since you asked....

Juxtaposition...

...it's what's for, errr, dinner!

Sunday Funnies...

Barbar and Batman - who knew they had something in common?

Yes, It Works, But....

The Met Police has scrapped a controversial risk assessment form for live music events after it sparked a race row.

Top DJs, promoters and venues held talks with Mayor of London Sadiq Khan, who asked the police force to look again at “form 696” amid concerns it was being used to unfairly target grime and R&B artists.

Yes, well, as has been pointed out, there's no corresponding link with violence at Seventies Disco Night events or Glyndebourne, is there?

The form was originally introduced in 2005 following several shootings at promoted club nights across London.

In 2009, two questions asking for the ethnic make-up of the audience and music genre were scrapped from the form following complaints of racism.

*rolls eyes*

The Met said that while “there is no doubt that over the last decade a number of serious incidents have been prevented” because of the form process, they recognise the recent concerns.

Translation: "We're terrified of the 'r' word, so bugger safety of the public.."

Superintendent Roy Smith, said: “It is clear that in recent years the landscape of the night time economy in London has changed and thankfully we have seen a reduction in serious incidents at promoted music events, particularly those involving firearms. We have also been working in close partnership with the music industry and others to raise standards of safety in venues and at events.

“We have taken the decision to remove the Form 696 and instead develop a new voluntary partnership approach for venues and promoters across London. This will provide an excellent opportunity to share information at a local level and work to identify any enhanced risk to ensure the safety of the public.”

That'll be worth the paper it won't be written on then...

Mayor of London, Sadiq Khan, said: “Developing a night-time economy that works for everyone is a key priority of mine but it’s also vital that live music events in London take place safely. I called for a review of Form 696 earlier this year because of concerns raised by promoters and artists in the capital that this process was unfairly affecting specific communities and music genres.

“By bringing together the Met and representatives from across the city’s legendary grassroots music industry, we have shown why having a Night Czar is so important for London. ”

The Mayor pictured with his Night Czar, shortly before she ate him

Cutting The Mutineers Adrift...

The RNLI has shut the St Helier lifeboat station after a breakdown in the relationship between the charity and crew.

It follows the sacking and subsequent reinstatement of the Jersey station's coxswain Andy Hibbs earlier this year after all the crew walked out.

In other words, the charity lost tried to bully one of the crew, then lost big time. RNLI crews are volunteers; treat them badly, and they'll walk.

It means there will not be an all weather lifeboat crew in Jersey until a replacement can be trained.

So much for safety. I guess putting in charge a woman with no qualifications to do anything but shill for a charity doesn't work out so well. Who'dathunkit?

The 26-strong crew had previously asked the charity if they could run an independent lifeboat service on their own.

Leesa Harwood, the RNLI's director of community lifesaving and fundraising, said once the crew had made it clear they wanted to go alone the charity could not maintain the station.

She said: "I no longer have confidence that the station can be run without constant challenges and without constant threat of crew resignation."

Just another charity that's got too big for its' boots...

Andy Hibbs, former St Helier lifeboat coxswain said the move by the RNLI left him disgusted.

He said: "Everything that has gone on with the RNLI over this last year has been a disgrace, their management, everything they've done, the way they've handled this whole scenario."

As the RSPCA, so goes the RNLI. My list of worthy charities diminishes steadily.

Wait, How Can He Afford Cigarettes Then...?

In 2012, the asylum seeker fled Daraa in Syria, where he had been working as a cook in a restaurant. Anti-government protests in Daraa are said to have triggered the beginning of the Syrian uprising in 2011. Both his parents were killed in the conflict.

After escaping from Syria, he embarked on a dangerous journey through Jordan, Egypt, Libya, sailed on a dinghy to Italy, then travelled to France, finally reaching the UK last year and claiming asylum. He is in Home Office accommodation in east London and is given £36.95 per week to live on. Asylum seekers are not allowed to work.

So, basically, he entered the country illegally. He should be grateful he wasn't simply put on the next plane home.

The man thought he was safe when he reached the UK – but when he dropped the cigarette butt outside North Acton station on 27 October he unwittingly jeopardised his asylum claim. As soon as he stubbed out his cigarette he was approached by an officer from private security company Kingdom Security and issued with an on-the-spot £80 fixed penalty notice (FPN) from Ealing council. He speaks only a few words of English and was bewildered by the fine as he had no idea he had committed an offence. He was distraught as he had no means of paying it within the 14-day deadline. “Even if I starved for two weeks and used all the money I get from the Home Office for food to pay this fine I would still be £6.10 short of paying it off,” he said...

I thought you lived hand to mouth on a pittance...?

So Good Bad They Named Him Twice!

An A&E specialist doctor who had extreme porn on his computer and laptop has escaped a prison sentence.

Dr Ray Gautam Ray, 52, from Plumpton Green near Lewes, was told the videos and images were so serious he could be jailed.

But instead magistrates gave him a six-month suspended sentence.

It seems a display of humility did the trick for him:

Rod Hayler, defending,said the father of two had resigned from his job after his arrest.

He said: “He resigned from his job. He accepted all trust in him would be lost.

“He stepped away from a career 27 years in the making and a significant salary which provided for his family.

“He took up a job emptying bins, picking up litter and maintaining gardens almost to demonstrate his sense of shame to the world.”

Or to the court. Let's see if he continues this transformation past his court date, eh?

A spokesman for Brighton and Sussex University Hospitals NHS Trust, which runs the Princess Royal, said: “As soon as Dr Ray was arrested, he was suspended and he no longer works for us.”

The General Medical Council also suspended the University of London graduate’s licence to practise medicine.

An interim order was made on October 17 and the GMC will now pursue an investigation following the end of criminal proceedings.

Hopefully, banning him from practicing for good.

Will This Finally Put Paid To The Hysterics And Conspiraloons?

Seventy people and a stillborn baby died as a result of the Grenfell Tower fire, police have said.

All those who died in the blaze in west London five months ago have been recovered and formally identified, the Metropolitan Police believe.

Every flat and communal area in the building has been "thoroughly and meticulously searched" and the search operation is now entering its final stage.

Reader, I fear it will not....

Update: I guess I was right!

H/T: DavidVance via Twitter

Ronald Reagan Was Wrong...

...it's actually ten most terrifying words in the English language: "I'm from the local council and I'm here to help.

"In a statement late on Sunday, the council said Lillith was "not afraid of humans" and had entered a populated area, and the shooting had been approved by the police, Welsh government and chief veterinary officer for Wales.

A council spokeswoman said: "It was not possible to assess the condition or temperament of the lynx but there were concerns about its likely behavioural response if it was startled or inadvertently confronted by a member of the public, especially by a young child."

Well, yes, sad, but animals are unpredictable, and no-one had any reason to thi...

Oh. Hang on:

"When we got there the caravan was boarded in on three sides with decking and all we had to do was sling a net across the back and we would have had her trapped," a park spokesman said on Saturday.

"Unfortunately, one of the officials insisted that he needed to photograph her and make a positive ID before we were allowed close.

"He slipped and fell going up the bank which startled her, causing her to run past him and off across the fields."

Perhaps she realised public sector employees are bitter & foul-tasting, unlike plump Welsh kiddiewinks?

"No, No, Tarquin, 'Acid Attack' Is Too Harsh A Phrase..."

"...oh, yes, that's much better!"

Any news on the types of people who do these sorts of things?

A 16 year-old boy from Romford and a 17 year-old boy from Dagenham have been arrested on suspicion of violent disorder and are currently in custody.

Ah, yes. Of course. 'Boys'.

Inspector Rob Brettell said: “I understand this incident may have caused concern but we believe it was a targeted and isolated incident and there is no risk to the wider public.”

No risk from thugs spraying corrosive liquid around in a public place, hmmm..?

Then, Surely, There Could Also Be One...

Bedfordshire police and crime commissioner Kathryn Holloway said there 'could be an argument' that people should not be leaving valuables in vehicles.

...that young women should not get so hog-whimperingly drunk that they sleep with men they don't fancy and then cry 'rape!' the morning after?

Or if that's too politically incorrect for you to stomach, maybe get your Twitter Warriors out on the streets instead.

One thing's for certain - you don't deserve a penny more of taxpayer cash.

Remind Me Why We Pay Their Wages Again, Redux

A prolific shoplifter with 62 previous offences has been given one final opportunity to turn his life around by a judge after his most recent crime spree.

George McPherson, 35, of St Mary’s Crescent, Basildon, appeared at Basildon Crown Court via videolink to be sentenced for thefts totalling £2,060 earlier this year.

*sighs*

Sentencing McPherson, Judge David Pugh said: “When you appeared before me previously, I adjourned the matter to order a pre-sentence report. I did so because you made it clear that you wanted an opportunity to change your lifestyle. I am going to give you that opportunity. I’ve taken into account that you pleaded guilty but more importantly, I’ve taken into account your eagerness to change your life around.”

Of course he's eager. They are all eager, when they are standing in the dock!

McPherson, who wishes to move to Kent for a fresh start, thanked the judge and was due to be released from prison yesterday.

Look out Kent shopkeepers!

Remind Me Why We Pay Their Wages Again?

“We reported it to police. They said they needed more information on the woman before they can carry out further investigations.”

What sort of 'more information'?

Mr Cohen’s wife, Jenny-Lee, 33, said she was alarmed to find her husband coming home with his hands covered in blood.

She said: “My husband was banging on the window of the house. He couldn’t get the keys out of his pocket.

“My husband was very shaken up. What’s disturbing was the woman didn’t do anything to help. Some dogs are aggressive, so that’s why owners should be more responsible for them.”

And that's why it's the responsibility of the police to use the Dangerous Dogs Act to ensure compliance. When they can be bothered.

An Essex Police spokesman confirmed they received a report of a woman entering the field behind St Christopher’s Close with her dog which then approached the victim’s dog and attacked it.

They said: “When the victim intervened he was bitten causing injuries to his hands. If you have any information about this incident please contact Essex Police on 101 or Crimestoppers anonymously on 0800 555111.”

What do you want, it all laid out for you? What on earth are you doing with all the money & resources at your disposal?

Whew, That Crackdown On Knife Crime Is Savage!

A knife-wielding man who threatened a Tube worker after they asked him to step back from the edge of the platform has been sentenced.

Oh boy, he's in trouble now!

Last Monday, he was sentenced to six weeks in prison at Highbury Corner Magistrates Court, suspended for 12 months.

*baffled face*

H/T: CJ Nerd via email

It's Beginning To Look A Lot Like Christmas...

Ah, ‘tis the season! The purveyors of festive meat of indeterminate origin have arrived in Southend high street!

It'll make a nice change from dodging the increasing number of 'homeless' beggars that the high street seems plagued with lately.

We Will Remember Them...

In Flanders fields the poppies blow 

Between the crosses, row on row, 

That mark our place; and in the sky 

The larks, still bravely singing, fly 

Scarce heard amid the guns below. 

Lt.-Col. John McCrae

Who's The Child Here?

A mother has decided to take her 15-year-old daughter out of school rather than make her remove her nose piercing.

Well, that's sensible. Not!

Shannon, who lives with her mother in Greater Leys, Oxford, got the piercing on Saturday as an early present for her 16th birthday in December.

Ah, what every chav wants to mark a significant birthday!

Although she knew there were rules against facial piercings, she claimed other girls in Year 11 got away with wearing small studs.

Really?

Ms McNamara has claimed Oxford Academy can resolve the situation by giving Shannon her school work to take home.

No, love, you don't get to make demands here. There are rules. Follow them, or face the consequences.

Oxford Academy deputy head teacher Sally Elliott said: 'Ms Mcnamara asked us to send Shannon home with eight weeks' worth of work and we wouldn't authorise a student being off for that period of time, so we said "we expect her in school".

'If she is unable to take the stud out she will be isolated from the rest of the school but she'll be able to do her work.

'Anyone we spot with unauthorised piercings will be dealt with in the same way.

'It helps students not get distracted from their education and helps them learn that there are rules in life.

'Shannon has been here five years...we've never allowed nasal piercings before and we're not going to allow them now.'

Like mother, like daughter. I hope future potential employers are reading this.

He Plays The System Like He Plays His Music...

Pengilly, wearing a polo shirt and tracksuit bottoms, was flustered in court, pointing to the sky and flailing his arms while in the dock.

He shouted “I’ve got ADHD and anxiety and a personality disorder” and consistently spoke over District Judge Tessa Szagun.

The rough sleeper was listening to music with his headphones in as the judge spoke to him.

Isn't that contempt of court? Doesn't that matter any more?

Pengilly’s frustration worsened in court as he claimed to have lost his wallet, telling the judge he was “p***** off”.

He then stood with his arms over the dock and burst into tears, shouting and refusing help from probation officers.

He said: “Nobody f****** helps.

“What’s going to change if you send me to prison?

“I would come out and do the same thing because I have not been helped.

“Don’t keep kicking me while I’m down.”

You can afford two large dogs, and drugs. We aren't 'kicking you', we are enabling you!

The welfare state that the shopkeeper's taxes pay for is helping you make his life a misery, with the collusion of toothless judges.

Pengilly begged the judge not to send him to prison while in a flood of tears.

When Judge Szagun ordered the destruction of Pengilly’s cannabis, he replied: “Give it here, I’ll smoke it.”

Good grief"

Pengilly, who has previous convictions for shoplifting and battery in 2012, was given an eight-week prison sentence for the offences, suspended for a year.

*grinds teeth*

Judge Szagun said the victim surcharge and compensation was £115 but issued a day’s detention instead.

Well, at least the shopkeepers & shoppers get a day off from h...

Oh, you're kidding me!

She said Pengilly’s time spent in court was enough to be considered one day’s detention.

The State is failing us.

Great Timing, Steptoe!

Just days before "Seni's Law" passed the first hurdle, Leader of the Labour Party Jeremy Corbyn posted a video on Twitter backing the bill.

"Seni Lewis from Croydon, was only 23 when he died in a seclusion unit whilst held down on the ground," he said.

"Too many mental health patients have died after being physically restrained with unacceptable levels of force and violence.

"Seni’s Law will open up the mental health services to the scrutiny and accountability that’s needed to save lives."

Meanwhile...

Whew! Aren't we lucky he wasn't restrained?

Finally, A Judge Who Knows His Job!

Luke Lanham, 19, chose to ignore a suspended sentence order imposed at Bradford Crown Court in October last year that disqualified him from driving for 18 months.

Lanham, of Cavendish Road, Thorpe Edge, Bradford, was spotted by the police driving a Daewoo Matiz in Eccleshill on August 25, prosecutor Paul Nicholson said yesterday.

Not the car your average self-respecting lawbreaker would choose, I'm sure....

The teenager admitted driving while disqualified and without insurance in breach of a 12 month custodial sentence, suspended for two years.

His barrister, Mark Brookes, said Lanham was a vulnerable young man with learning difficulties.

Judge Jonathan Rose conceded that Lanham had ADHD but told him: “You chose to drive in breach of a court order.”

/applause

Lanham was sent to a young offender institution for a total of 12 months. Ten months of the suspended sentence was activated, because he had successfully completed a six month curfew order and a rehabilitation activity requirement, but two months were added consecutively for the new offence of driving while disqualified.

I know, it's only two, but still...

Judge Rose told him then: “This city is rife with people like you who should not be driving at all. People who buy cars cheaply with no insurance, licence, or ability. They drive like lunatics through our streets, putting people at risk of serious injury or death.”

I doubt he'll have learned his lesson. We can but hope he hits a wall instead of a person next time.

Disposable Society...

A Derby mum says she has been left heartbroken after her former family dog was put to sleep weeks after it was re-homed by a charity.

Oh boy! Is there a whiff of compo in the air?

Thelina Tillotson, from Chaddesden, says she handed her dog Brooke over to Leicestershire Staffordshire Bull Terrier Rescue (LSBTR) – a charity that specialises in the re-homing of Staffordshire Bull Terriers – around two months ago.

That was because she had recently had a baby and was worried about behavioural problems the dog had.

Nice of you to let some other family take the chance with the animal, love!

The 33-year-old claims she was told Brooke had attacked a carrier bag that a member of the public had been carrying in the street.

Good grief!

Thelina, who has three children (Ed: two are called Breanna and Meah-J, apparently...), said Brooke was a "brilliant dog".

She said: "I had two children grow up around her and she was fine with them.

"She was always the type of dog that she would attack carrier bags or if she heard a noise she would bark but she was not an aggressive dog.

"When I had my baby she started barking when she cried. I thought it would be the best thing to do to have Brooke rehomed. I rang the charity and they didn't say anything about putting dogs down."

What, you thought they'd live forever? The charity was no doubt mindful of the ticking time bomb they'd been left with, and acted appropriately.

A spokesperson from the charity said that the decision to put Brooke to sleep was as a result of her "deteriorating health" and claimed that Thelina had not been in touch.

The spokesperson said: "Brooke's previous owners were contacted by a volunteer of the rescue in order to inform them that due to Brooks deteriorating health, which in the opinion of her veterinary surgeon related to a neurological condition, that her life was not sustainable.

"As the previous owners had not been in contact to enquire about Brooke's welfare, the volunteer took it upon themselves to contact them to try to alleviate the conscience and their rationale for her re-homing due to the dog’s reaction to their new born child.

"Apart from the initial first few days with letting them know the dog had settled, there had been no further enquiries from the previous owner."

If there was any lingering doubt about what sort of people we were dealing with here, it's removed in the comments:

Indeed so.

OK, What Am I Missing Here?

Sentencing Dixon the judge said "This was a completely unprovoked attack on the streets of Cheltenham. You took part in a sustained and repeated assault. You joined in the initial attack.

"I accept that you did not use the boot, but you were there to support your friends, and when a member of the public tried to stop a vicious attack, you attacked him.

"There were nasty injuries to the victim. In my judgement it is so serious only prison is justified. You have a bad record for someone aged 26."

Wow, wonder how long he's going to give h...

Oh.

"The only question is whether I can suspend the sentence. I am prepared to suspend the sentence, just.

"Don't get involved in violence again."

*speechless*

Dixon was ordered to pay £290 in court costs and surcharges. The judge chose not to order that Dixon pay compensation to Mr Mahovo, despite an application from the prosecution.

*beyond speechless*

I can see no reason for leniency in the sentence. Even less for denying the innocent victim compensation.

Perhaps that's why I'm not a judge?

Wait, I'm Confused, Who Is The Victim Here?

Joe Stone QC, defending, told the jury Mr Eley had been acting in self-defence as he believed Mr Moore had threatened to attack or rape him and his son.

Mr Stone said: "He thought he was going to be raped. He thought his son was going to be raped.

"Even someone with the reserves of a Zen Buddhist monk, if they were threatened with rape or their child were threatened with rape, they would have difficulty remaining calm.

"If you believed that was going to happen, wouldn't it be reasonable to take that action?"

Errr, no. Not really. Boy, the prosecution will have a field day with such....

Oh!

Ryan Richter, prosecuting, told the jury in his closing argument at Guildford Crown Court: "This is an undoubtedly sad case.

"Sad for Mr Eley, because it is clear he was significantly mentally unwell at the time. Sad too for Mr Moore and Mr Mortimer, who had done nothing wrong and yet left that shop badly injured."

That's a pretty strange priority list there, isn't it? Most people would think the poor bloody innocent victims attacked by a madman should be your first consideration!

It took the jury three more hours than it should do to render the inevitable verdict.

H/T: jack ketch in comments

What Kid Indeed...?

"Her throat hurt for a while after that, but I think she'll still eat nuggets. What kid doesn't like nuggets."

Ahhh, modern parenting!

"She's only four-years-old, it was properly scary."

*boggle*

Your Son Was A Car Thief Who Couldn't Drive...

There. Fixed that for you.

A mother has spoken of the “heartbreaking” failure of her eight-year search for the truth about her son’s death in a police chase...

Some 'mother' she turned out to be. She raised a car thief.

Liam Albert, 17, died a week after crashing a stolen Mazda in Surrey in 2009 following a high-speed pursuit that began in south-west London.

That's all the explanation anyone not as thick as two short planks should need.

Ms John said: “What we were looking for were answers to how he died, how did the collision happen, what were the events leading up to [it]. Which will not bring my son back but at least gives us some idea.

It's pretty obvious how he died, the coroner will have explained that. The collision happened because he lost control. The events leading up to it were that he stole a car and decided to not stop when the police indicated he do so.

“There’s so many questions that haven’t been answered, that, deliberately, to us it looks like, they have skimmed past. They’ve just humoured us from the beginning, I believe.

Now, you've quite right here, I agree. They shouldn't have humoured you at all. They should have told you to get lost.

“We look to the police for guidance, for help, for confidence, for protection. That’s just knocked me for six.

Their guidance states 'do not steal cars', they help us by chasing car thieves, we have confidence that they'll catch car thieves, they protect us against car thieves.

Emotionally it’s not going to leave us, we’re not going to get a closure.”

You spelled 'compensation' wrong.

"It's like we were seen as easy prey."

An 80-year-old woman has been jailed for 12 months after her son's dog attacked a five-year-old girl, leaving her with facial injuries.

Pitbull? American bulldog?

Theresa Graves, of March, Cambridgeshire, held the animal up for Skyla Boldan to kiss it in June this year, according to the girl's family. But it bit her, causing deep cuts to her lip.

The dog, a Jack Russell called Deefa, had to be destroyed.

*boggle*

Det Con Mark Yendley, of Cambridgeshire Police, said: "This case shows how important it is to keep dogs under control in public places and how seriously the courts treat incidents of this nature."

Oh, the courts and police are very, very keen to get on top of this new 'dangerous dog' menace striking fear into the land:

Linda and Keith have been told that if Tilly is spotted out in public without a muzzle on, she is at risk of being put down under the Dangerous Dogs Act.

Meanwhile, chavs walk four-legged engines of destruction unmolested by the filth...

H/T: CJ Nerd via email

Without The Welfare State, We May Not Have People Like This...

The judge said he accepted the defendant did not intend to kill or seriously harm Carter, but he noted she had a lengthy criminal record with 65 convictions including for violent offences.

“The reality is that, though what you did was not unprovoked, it was completely unnecessary and it was aggressive,” he said.

The court heard that Brown-Wellington had a personality disorder which resulted in acts of “impulsive violence”.

But she can wander the streets unconcerned, of course. And somehow afford the drink & drugs that puts her in an agressive mood.

A judge at Manchester Crown Court said she presented a ‘real risk to other people’ as it was revealed she has been convicted of 17 violent offences over the past 20 years.

She's 31...

And on the very same day, this appears:

Thanks for ensuring that creatures like Brown-Wellington aren't starving, Welfare State.

You Know What They Say About 'No Good Deed', Glenn....

Glenn Tamplin has said he feels "kicked in the teeth" after the two homeless people he gave jobs at Billericay Town Football Club stole and took drugs.

If only it could have been predicted...

Speaking to the Echo, he said: "I'm gutted.

"We caught Ray taking drugs and sent him to rehab in Southend.

"Richard was given a job.

"We bought him clothes, fed him every day, paid him £80 per day wages and he decided he was going to steal the sound system from the changing rooms which was worth about £5,000 as well as anything else he could get his hands on.

"It is not going to stop me trying to help the homeless.

"My purpose is to help those less fortunate.

"The club and community will only grow stronger from this."

I guess it's true, there really is such a thing as 'no bad publicity'.

Oh, Twitter....

..the immediacy you provide for mockery is so precious:

Well played, sir, well played!

Hey, That's Why 'Stranger Things' Is Such A Hit...

...a cast of cats makes everythin....

Oh.

Sunday Funnies...

You'll never look at the humble tape measure in the same way again....

Sentimental Gestures Are Easy, When....

....you are spending other people's money:

In a symbol of solidarity with the McCanns, De Lisle College in Loughborough — the secondary school Madeleine, who would now be 14, would have attended — continues to reserve a place for her. This year, she would have started her GCSE course.

If you're a parent who wanted their child to get in to this place, and was told there was no room, I bet you're feeling pretty aggrieved right now.

And once more, I'm astonished at the hold this couple seem to have over influential people in the State apparatus.

"Oh shut up, silly woman," said the reptile with a grin, "you knew damn well I was a snake before you took me in.."

The Ministry of Justice has apologised to the mother of a five-year-old boy who was murdered after probation services failed to warn her that her partner had a string of convictions for violent offences against women and children.

I'm sure that came as a hell of a shock.

After Iheanacho was found guilty of murder, Breha, 30, was horrified to hear that he had a string of previous convictions for violent offences against women and children.

“It took them 15 minutes to read out all his previous offences. My mouth literally dropped open and I felt so sick,” said Breha.

How terrible, to think the man you thought you knew was...

Wait, hang on. How did she meet him?

While Breha knew that Iheanacho had recently come out of prison, she was unaware of the terms of his licence relating to children and new relationships with women.

“If anyone had told me about Marvyn’s violent history I would have run a mile from him and would never have allowed him to be anywhere near my child,” said Breha.

Ummm...

Breha said she first met Iheanacho when he was in prison.

“A neighbour suggested I write to him,” she said. “I wasn’t looking for a relationship but when I met him he was super-shy and super-polite. He seemed really nice and I felt sorry for him. I didn’t know what he had been in prison for, he just told me he had been in the wrong place at the wrong time. I thought, ‘well, anyone can make a mistake’.

You sure made one, didn't you? Nice to know you have standards; a jailbird's perfectly fine, but a violent one, well, 'someone should have told me!'

“I sat by his hospital bedside singing Ukrainian songs to him. When the doctors said they couldn’t do anything more for him I literally dropped to the floor,” said Breha.

“How could Marvyn have done this to a little boy who had no chance to defend himself against this big guy? Each day it gets harder and harder and I miss him more. The worst thing is to wake up every morning knowing that your son is dead.”

I'd have thought the worst thing was realising you're to blame, because you valued a screw with a 'bad boy' more than you did your own child's life.

After the death of her British-born son, Liliya Breha was warned she could be deported because she no longer has a family tie to the UK.

Good. We have enough home-grown women who love the bad boys like this, we've no need to import more.

Shuffling Deckchairs On The Titanic...

Police have arrested a wanted man who was found temporarily living on the roof of a shop in Southend town centre.

I'm glad they qualified it with 'temporarily'....

Southend’s community policing team have been targeting areas in the High Street which are prone to attracting antisocial behaviour and rough sleepers.

Not before time. The last few months has seen an influx in the 'homeless' (mostly street drinkers & the mentally ill) and walking down the high street in the early morning is not pleasant.

They said that one particular spot, the doorway of the old Post Office, which has closed down, has become a favoured place for drinking and begging.

Two weeks ago, PC Brewer moved on rough sleepers from outside the doorway.

'Moved them on'. To where?

That's not even a hundred yards...

Naturally, even these parasites have parasites:

But Gill Garwood, chief executive of homeless charity Harp, said rough sleepers should not be stereotyped as drug addicts - and she wants to see more done to help.

To help the bums, that is. Not the people who have to put up with human excrement in their shop doorway, or see takings drop as customers (understandably) go elsewhere:.

“At Harp, we are here to support people with any issues that might have led to their homelessness situation, including work to prevent people from having to move to the streets in the first place.

“People become homeless for a whole host of reasons.

“We believe that rough sleepers should not be criminalised for being homeless and that is why we are working with agencies in the town, including Southend Council and Southend Police, to try to help people access support that can help them turn their lives around.

“For the past five years, through our Restart Programme, we have encouraged people experiencing problems with addiction to seek treatment with Southend Treatment And Recovery Service, and attend group therapy with Narcotics Anonymous. We encourage residents to volunteer to assist with our services.”

Where can I volunteer with someone who wants to run the bums out of town? Along with this 'charity'?

‘We find the facts bizarre.’

‘We find the facts bizarre,’ said Judge Russell Finch when sentencing the pair.

Errr, yes. Yes, me too....

Disgruntled customers of drug dealer Linda Danga began making violent threats when they discovered that what she had sold them was not cannabis, but rabbit food.

The threats became so bad the 21-year-old went to the police to complain.

That led to her appearance in the Royal Court along with her supplier, Ben Jackson, 25.

/facepalm

H/T: CJNerd via email

Chavs & Dogs - A Dangerous Combination...

A teenage girl who was walking a dog which attacked a small child leaving her with horrific injuries, did so for payment in cannabis, a youth court heard.

The girl, who is from Chatham, but can't be named because of her age, was charged with being in charge of a dog which was dangerously out of control, after an incident in Jenkins Dale, in Chatham, in April.

The dog, which belonged to two other people she had befriended, mauled the little girl's face before clamping its jaws around her head in front of other children, who tried to fight it off.

The police turned up & gunned the thing down. The dog, not the teenage chav, sadly.

The court also heard the teenager, who had never been in trouble with the law before, blamed herself for what happened.

Well, yes. Probably the one true moment of self-reflection she's ever had!

Luke Mayer defending, said: "This was a horrendous incident for all parties. She clearly blames herself.

"She is not the owner of the dog. She did have problems at home and she looked up to Hayley and Michael.

"They were older than her and she had a misplaced respect. She thought it was an honour to walk the dog.

"She had only walked it twice before that night. She was smoking cannabis with them sometimes in their flat."

Lovely!

"They are the adults. It was difficult for her to control the power of the dog. She couldn't control it.

"She is on sleeping tablets and has nightmares. She put her hands in the dog's mouth and there was blood everywhere.

"She is perhaps a victim herself, she's trying to address her issues and is taking everything offered to her.

"She is one of the most remorseful people I have come across."

And you must come across a hell of a lot. Like all the other defence mouthpieces.

Magistrates decided to order supervision on the girl for 12 months and ordered she carry out 150 hours of unpaid work.

Doing what? And what about the owners of the hellbeast?

Thornton and Eldridge, both from Chatham, denied being the owner of a dog which caused injury to the child while dangerously out of control in a public place when they appeared at Maidstone Crown Court last week.

The court heard Thornton, of Ryde Close, and Eldridge, of Gorse Avenue, had only owned the dog for a week and believed it to be a lawful Staffordshire bull terrier cross-breed.

Thornton and Eldridge were granted conditional bail until their trial set for August 13 next year.

Those long, slow wheels of justice are barely moving at this point....

Which Part..?

O'Connor conceded that people would be disgusted by his actions, and recognised "part of it was wrong".

He will appear in court for sentencing on 21 November.

I hope it's not 'getting caught'....

The Idea That The Modern Police Service Knows What Is 'Practical' Is Laughable

A senior police officer has said it is “not practical” for officers to investigate crimes such as shoplifting and criminal damage as his force bids to save £400 million.

But it's totally practical to chase decades-old abuse cases and Tweets that offend people?

Deputy assistant commissioner Mark Simmons said the force had to work with fewer officers and less money, with the Crime Assessment Policy introduced to help prioritise resources.

He said: “Clearly this is not about letting criminals get away with crime, or not investigating the cases we are solving at the moment, if we thought it was, we simply would not do this.”

If you were capable of thought, you wouldn't do half the things you currently do!

Are you sure you couldn't save a few pennies by abolishing the Rapid Reaction Twitter Force?

“We need our officers to be focused on serious crime and cases where there is a realistic chance that we will be able to solve it.”

Really? Or is that only when it's in nice sunny countries?

Ex-Met detective chief inspector Mick Neville told the Sun: “This is justice dreamed up by bean counters in shiny suit land.

“No consideration is being given to victims. The new principles will focus police attention on easy crimes where there is a known suspect.

“Few professional criminals target people who know them, so the worst villains will evade justice. Not investigating high volume crimes like shoplifting with a loss of under £50 will give junkies a green light to thieve.”

Notice it's always ex-detectives that say this?

H/T: CJ Nerd via email