Brutal...

...but spot on, as always, Matt!

Not The Sheriff Of Nottingham, Then..?

His men used bows and arrows, didn't they?

Sunday Funnies...

Well, that's it! I'm not going to the moon after all!

Tweet Of The Month

Post Title Of The Month

MacHeath on York's latest claim to (in)fame...

Quote Of The Month

Jeff from Protein Wisdom on trans politics and country music:

"The performance was of course steeped in Queerness, both in the pretend oppression of performers literally center stage at a televised awards show, and in the academic sense, where drag serves as a kind of postmodern Harlequin dance to usher pre-initiates into Queer theory more broadly. Choreographed to confront its audience, the unspoken subtext of the number was that it’s time for you to pick a side — and you had better be careful which side you pick.

The whole spectacle was, in fact, an offensive. A show of power. The precise moment when the tyranny of the Elect, the permanent victim class, flexed its collective muscles and informed viewers, with a glittery hostility camouflaged as kitsch, that any march through the institutions must and will be a march through all institutions. The country music scene is not immune. Nothing is. Because for the revolution to succeed, cultural hegemony must police its framework. And cultural hegemony brooks no dissent".

Post Of The Month

David Thompson on the phenomenon of Amy Wax, and the telling reactions to her observations...

Don't Come In, No 14, Your Time Isn't Up!

Yes, we've made it to year 14 of this blog!

 

I'd take a day off, but then we'd miss out on April's blog awards. Coming right up!

Pick Someone Capable Of Gratitude This Time...

...and not an ungrateful little nobody catapaulted to riches beyond his wildest dream who turned on you like the feeble-minded little snowflake he grew up to be. 

Real actors who could act him off the screen with their hands tied behind their backs know what you do for them.

Of Course It Is...

Government officials warned it was 'open season on ministers' last night as Health Secretary Steve Barclay became the latest senior politician to face bullying allegations. He was accused of 'bad behaviour' towards staff in the Department of Health and Social Care since being appointed last summer.

But allies and ex-colleagues of Mr Barclay denied the allegations and suggested civil servants may now feel 'emboldened' to 'go after' ministers they did not like.

Well, yes. If Sunak and Raab had stuck to their guns and showed a bit of backbone, they'd have had no choice but to back down. Or quit. 

Either way, win/win for the government. 

Sources told The Guardian that Mr Barclay – a former Government whip and Brexit Secretary – was 'constantly angry' and had 'blasted' staff, who in turn found him 'quite challenging'.

Boo hoo hoo! Toughen up, then. 'Challenging' should be in the job description at that level. 

Of course, we all know what's really driving this, don't we? 

I Guess It Depends On The Type Of Poster...

Something like this, maybe?

During a week-long trial at Liverpool Crown Court, the jury were told how De Meulemeester was a student officer and classed as a basic police driver.

Prosecutor Jonathan Sandiford, KC, told the court that as such she was required to drive in accordance with the Highway Code and are not authorised to use police exemptions such as contravening keep left signs and speeding.

Another triumph for the policy of hiring graduates, I see, Reader... 

Belgian-born De Meulemeester, who achieved her ambition of joining the police in July 2019 after graduating from De Montfort University at Leicester, admitted in court that she had been speeding and driving carelessly.

Following her move to the UK, De Meulemester studied for a degree in criminal investigation and policing before working as a call handler.

So, how did someone so eminently qualified wind up mowing down a teenager? 

Asked by her KC David Temkin why she had been travelling that fast she replied, 'I wasn't aware that was how fast I was going.

'I was just trying to get to the incident. I wasn't paying attention to how fast I was going.'

*sighs* 

Let The Coronation Fever Begin!

And the hastily-reworked packaging for the same old stuff is hitting the shops right now, so get out and BUY, BUY, BUY!

Bet they put the price up too. Designers don't work for free...

Update: It seems reader Ian J has found the tackiest thing yet made to celebrate the coronation:

It's not just my lack of enthusiasm for chocolate that makes me feel a little queasy...

Respect? You Don't Know The Meaning Of The Word...

Mr Dunn junior was arrested on suspicion of being the owner of a dog dangerously out of control at 5.50pm that day and told officers: 'My mum's just died, you have no respect.'

She didn't drop down dead of a heart attack, she was mauled to death by one of your dogs..! 

When interviewed he provided a prepared statement in which he denied breeding dogs or having a website advertising dog breeding.

Oh, really? And did the police just accept that? Maybe HMRC should be looking into him instead, at least they seem to have some teeth...

He said all dogs were chipped and registered but refused to provide chip details, the inquest was told.

Well, surely a vet could provide that by scanning the bodies? 

He agreed to sign over the five adult bulldogs to police and they were euthanised, Mr Rebello said.

Anyone else might say 'getting rid of the evidence', eh, Reader..? 

Following advice from the Crown Prosecution Service, no further action was taken against Mr Dunn Junior.

Would that be because it would have raised too many questions about their lack of action over a previous incident, perhaps? 

Mr Rebello recorded a narrative verdict into her death, telling the inquest he did not consider it an accident or misadventure. He added: 'These are very, very powerful animals and the amount of damage caused to Ann is so significant I can't even begin to describe it in court.

'Hopefully people will be aware that dogs of this size are probably not best kept in this number in a domestic setting.'

He said it was not against the law, but 'not everything has to be against the law to be unwise'.

Perhaps it's time it was against the law? 

Following her death, Mrs Dunn's family described her as a 'one in a million mum'.

If only her shitstain of a son was too, but there seems to be a lot more of them walking the streets and breathing the air... 

'I can see it in all your faces, you like this stuff. You like it. You're supporting this.'

Perhaps we need a monument to The Unknown Workman alongside the Cenotaph, because he speaks for us all...

Earlier the force had warned that protesters had moved from Pall Mall to Piccadilly in Westminster where they stopped on the road.

It said: 'The Met is aware of a number of protesters slow walking on the roads. Officers are on scene and attempting to engage. We are carefully monitoring for any disruption and will take action as necessary.'

 Note, they didn't say against whom....

It was part of a number of demonstrations by Just Stop Oil during rush hour yesterday morning, which culminated in a joint march by the group and Extinction Rebellion from Westminster to London headquarters of Shell in Waterloo in the afternoon.

It was the last of four days of protest by XR supporters, but the first day of an 'indefinite campaign' by Just Stop Oil calling for an end to new UK oil and gas projects. The group has called for people to join the slow marches every weekday at 7am and midday on Saturdays.

If the Home Secretary doesn't get the senior officers of the Met Police in for an interview without coffee and get them to start taking proper action, someone is going to be seriously hurt or even killed by someone who has been pushed to the limit by these people, and it'll be entirely on her head...  

Good, Let's Keep Pricing Them Out!

The usual whines and complaints in the 'Guardian' about 'institutional racism' being behind the disparity in maternal deaths by race in the NHS. 

And hidden amongst the usual squealing about 'microagressions' (and the usual dodgy stats, discussed at length at Tim's place) is this gem:

I know many great women dedicated to anti-racism who want to be midwives who are quitting because they cannot afford to live on a midwife’s salary.

Frankly, that's a good thing. We need midwives dedicated to one thing, and one thing only. You can't serve two masters, Candice! 

As the cost of living continues to rise, it is becoming unaffordable to live on a public sector salary. This cannot continue. We must support Black people into these professions by encouraging equal access to education, and supporting them with a fair and decent wage when they are in the job.

What 'unequal access' does she think they have, then? And how do the white/brown/yellow folks manage? 

Getting more Black people into senior roles is fundamental, too.

So they should be promoted regardless of merit? 

...seeing more of our own faces in spaces where we are vulnerable would allow us to nip microaggressions and racist behaviours in the bud – and to influence attitudes that have been proven time and time again to harm us.

I can't remember going into a NHS hospital recently and seeing no black faces, can anyone else? 

But maybe I'm being too harsh, she's clearly a medical expert or som...

Candice Brathwaite is a journalist and author of I Am Not Your Baby Mother, Sister Sista and Cuts Both Ways.

Ah. 'Activist wants more activists in key roles' is a great subtext, eh? 

Then Increase The Sentence...

...until he tells you who the others are.

While the schoolboy was caught when he walked into a cafe, the three other male suspects are still at large.

How lucky the cops were in the same cafe stuffing their faces, eh? 

On Thursday 16 March the defendant, who is now 17 but cannot be named due to a court order, appeared at Croydon Youth Court, where he admitted two counts of moped-enabled robbery, one count of attempted robbery and possession of criminal property.

And following a hearing, at Wimbledon Youth Court on Tuesday 18 April, he was jailed for six months, plus six months on licence once he is released. He pleaded guilty to two counts of moped-enabled robbery, one count of attempted robbery and possession of criminal property at Croydon Youth Court on March 16.

Detective Constable Ian Croxford, from the Met Police's Operation Venice team that led the investigation, said it was lucky the victims were not more seriously hurt.

Then perhaps the Tories (Ha! I jest! As if we had any...) should look at ensuring a failure to name your fellow criminals drew an automatic sentence increase? 

For £20,000 A Year, You'd Expect Discipline...

But you'd expect it to apply to the pupils first...

Bosses at the £20,000-a-year school told the woman to deliver the mea culpa after her class complained that she had said 'good afternoon, girls' at the start of a lesson, The Mail on Sunday can reveal.

After being told by the pupils that 'not everyone here identifies as female', she arrived in class the following day to find they had pointedly written their names and pronouns on the board, including one who used they/them.

And did appeasing these little cherubs work? Reader, it did not, you'll no doubt be surprised to hear...  

They also held a lunchtime protest after she refused to acknowledge their demands.

Hopefully she's now learned her lesson and is looking for a better school? 

Last night, a spokesman for the trust declined to comment.

That's OK, others - including the Education Secretary - are commenting. And pointing. And laughing.  

Finally!

Armed police officers have shot and killed an “out-of-control” dog after a man was found with “serious injuries” at a house in Derby.

The place has a history with morons owning hellbeasts. But then, everywhere does, these days, it seems...  

A man has also been arrested in connection with the incident at a property in Cameron Road on Saturday morning.

And at least this time it was the right property! 

Derbyshire Police have closed off parts of Cameron Road and nearby Brunswick Street.

“A dog at the address that was presenting a risk to officers and the public was shot and killed by firearms officers,” the force said in a statement.

Good! More, please. Seems only fair if Ferdinand has to eat a bullet, so does Fido...

Mind you....I'm not sure she was in any real danger. What dog could open its jaws that wide?

Could have saved a bullet if they'd just had her fall on it...

And Every Bit As Disgusting!

Not to mention, hard to swallow.

Who Keeps Flowers In The Fridge...?

Or don't they know it's spelled 'Rosé' in Oz?

Sunday Funnies...

Ahhh, the justice system, so infallib... 

Oh.

They Called Themselves 'Neighbours'...

Audrey says the neighbours did everything they could to raise the alarm and describes being repeatedly reassured when she called Peabody's customer care line that someone would investigate.

"That's the one thing that I regret - that I believed Peabody. I regret not calling the police sooner, because I just trusted that they were going to do something."

Why would you keep doing the same thing and expecting a different response? Isn't that the definition of something? 

After Sheila died, her rent stopped being paid, so Peabody sent letters, emails and left voicemails. But in the following year, no-one visited to check up on her. This is despite her always paying her rent on time since she'd moved into the flat in 2014. Instead, without having spoken to Sheila, Peabody applied for universal credit to be paid directly to it on her behalf. It did this via a government scheme called Alternative Payment Arrangements, which is intended for tenants struggling to pay their bills.

So once again, government policies make something worse. It's strange how often that happens, isn't it? 

Then, in April 2020, her gas safety check - an annual obligation for landlords - was due. When Peabody's contractors could not get into the flat, again no-one from Peabody visited. Instead it wrote letters and then cut off her gas supply.

*sighs* 

Another factor in why Sheila wasn't found sooner was how isolated she was. A video of her funeral shows just one person standing at the front of an empty crematorium - her estranged half-brother Viktor, who said he hadn't spoken to her for years. Another person, a representative from Peabody, walks in late. No other family. No friends.

And no 'neighbours' either, you'll note... 

H/T: Ian J via email

Now, This Is Chutzpah To The Nth Degree!

Sometimes, juries produce bizarrely perverse decisions. And sometimes they overturn them:

A father who introduced a five metre social distancing rule in his family home to avoid his wife and children during a lockdown divorce has won an appeal against his controlling behaviour conviction.

Wait, what? How can he have been prosecuted, never mind found guilty, for doing exactly what the government and civil service was doing to the entire country?!?

Peter Copland, 66, allocated time slots for his wife Maire and their two children to use the kitchen at their home in Paignton, Devon, after the couple separated during the coronavirus pandemic. The retired engineer brought the rules in between April and August 2020 as the pair divorced after 33 years of marriage. He sent her emails about the five metre rule - which started out as the two metre rule - and the time schedule to the use the kitchen and other rooms in the property.

Exeter Magistrates Court convicted him of coercive and controlling behaviour following a trial and ruled that the break up rules were inflexible and became 'intimidating and domineering'.

And did they ask for 650 other charges to be brought against the MPs who passed the Covid laws too? 

Barrister Tom Faulkner, representing Mr Copland, argued there was no case to answer. He said Mr Copland also wanted to 'keep the peace and avoid arguments' with his wife and children. He also said Mr Copland was vulnerable to Coronavirus and wanted to preserve social distancing as instructed by the Government in the early days of the pandemic.

QED! 

Judge Kevin de Haan KC and two magistrates quashed the two convictions which included controlling behaviour and an assault on his wife. 

It's astonishing he was ever convicted. 

'Sorry' Seems To Be The Hardest Word...

No, wait, the hardest words are clearly 'We were wrong':

Brighton and Hove has been infested with weeds since the council banned the use of glyphosate - an active ingredient in most weedkillers and herbicides - in 2019. Pavements, streets, walls and drains have been overrun by unwanted plants, causing anger among residents.

Last year the authority blamed Brexit for the infestation saying they were having difficulty recruiting staff and ordering equipment.

And when that didn't fly (and who really thought it would?)... 

But now the eco-conscious council has been slammed after asking taxpayers to become volunteer 'weed warriors' - instead of employing people to do the job.

Residents, who have experienced one of the highest council tax rises in the UK, have lashed out at 'council madness'. They are furious they are being asked to carry out basic tasks supposed to be covered by their council tax.

Well, quite! Have you considered not paying it, en masse, instead? 

...resident, Dean Redmond, said: 'Wheelchair users, the partially-sighted and those who are elderly are rightly up in arms about the council's failure to maintain the pavements and roads.

'It is discriminatory and wrong and the Greens need to start paying attention to what people actually want.'

They don't care what people want, because they've realised that waving a Green flag allows them to put in place any mad counter-productive scheme they want...

April Fool's Are Getting Later Every Year...

Eating the chocolate treats is nowhere near as taboo as drinking alcohol but experts at ClickMechanic say that they can leave you feeling sluggish and potentially unsafe behind the wheel.

Oh, my mistake. It's no such thing, it's a bid for publicity by ClickMechanic... 

H/T: Ian J via email

WCPGW?*

She had been fostering the American bulldog in the hope of fully adopting it.

Because who doesn't want to foster an animal that the police have to taser and batter with truncheons to make it let go of your oh-so-tasty arm? 

She said: 'The pain was excruciating.

'I knew I was in a bad way but nothing prepared me for the news my arm would have to be amputated.'

The RSPCA has denied it was liable for the attack, and Joanna's claim will be heard at the High Court in London.

Wait, how is this the RSPCA's fault? I mean, I hold no brief for them at all, but unless there was a known risk then th... 

Ms Harris, from Crowborough, East Sussex, claims that the RSPCA failed to let her know that the dog, which was later put down, had attacked two women just eight months before it set upon her, The Sun reported.

Oops! 

This will be an important case. If the RSPCA loses, it might make other rescues think twice about handing out these things to unsuspecting idiots. 

*What could possibly go wrong?

Why Does 'Safety' Always Mean This..?

No, Reader, of course it doesn't mean resurfacing or fixing potholes...

No final decisions have been made on what improvements will be made, but the government provided examples including better designed junctions, improved signage and safer pedestrian crossings.

Because who cares if the wheels fall off your car because you've hit a pothole deeper than the Grand Canyon? 

Cllr Mike Greene, member for transport at BCP Council, said: “This part of the A35 has suffered from several serious accidents over the last few years, with many of them involving vulnerable road users.

Ah, that word again. I don't think it means what you think it means, Mike... 

H/T: Ian J via email

"I Don't Want To Go In There, Sarge! There Might Be A Bogeyman..."

Man goes missing in mental distress, but it's OK, his phone is still active and showing his location. There's just one little problem...

The family were told they would not be able to look for Anugrah themselves and say officers were 'slow to initially respond to reports that Anugrah was missing' and that they wasted time before entering the woods where his car was located.

'Eventually one officer and a single dog, hardly a squad, arrived at around 2am,' they said.

'The initial call from us was made at 11pm. There was just no sense of urgency even though we as a family were obviously frantic and GMP themselves had identified Anugrah as being high risk.'

They also say they were told it was 'too dark' to carry out a search due to wild animals living in the woods.

*blinks* Better check this story's location. 

No, no, it does say Manchester, and not Mozambique... 

The family say that police refused to send a helicopter out to search for him. His body was found a day later by a dog walker.

What was their excuse for that, that there might be a roc or griffin flying around? 

DCI Dave Jones, of GMP's Professional Standards Branch, added: 'On behalf of Greater Manchester Police, I send the sincerest condolences to the loved ones of Anugrah following his death in March 2023.

'In line with normal procedure, the incident response was referred to GMP's Professional Standards Branch and the Independent Office of Police Conduct for review.

'The conclusion was that GMP had not caused or contributed to Anugrah's death and that the force had responded appropriately to the missing person's report.'

If you consider that 'appropriate' it says everything about you, doesn't it? 

Why Keep A Dog And Bark Yourself?

And why send armed police and not use them?

Armed police responded to reports of a 'dangerously out of control dog' attacking people 'at random' in the West Midlands earlier today.

Six people were reported to have been bitten, including a child and an elderly man.

There's been far too many of these incidents lately. 

Police arrested a 28-year-old man in connection to the alleged attacks at Willow Gardens, Winson Green.

And the mutts? Shot in the street? 

Police were called shortly after 2.30pm and seized two dogs, which have since been kennelled.

*sighs* I guess there'll be many, many more then... 

The Bitch Is Back...

I was sacked from my position as Haringey’s director of education and children’s services by the then secretary of state for children, Ed Balls, on live TV. This was less than a month after Peter’s mother, her boyfriend and her boyfriend’s brother were convicted of “causing or allowing” his death. I was closely followed by four social workers and a paediatrician from Great Ormond Street children’s hospital (GOSH). The scapegoating and vilification of me and other social workers in this case and others has had many unintended consequences.

Yes, guess who? 

You'd think she'd want to fall back into welcome obscurity, but trust the 'Guardian' to offer her a platform...

Other agencies involved in such cases have sophisticated strategies to avoid blame and protect their reputations. In the case of Peter’s death, Balls, Haringey council, Ofsted, GOSH and the Metropolitan police all benefited from having a convenient scapegoat to take the blame for wider and more complicated failures.

How, exactly, since they were all censured along with you? You even admit a paediatrician was sacked too! 

...crucial information was not revealed at a stage when it may have made a difference to the social workers.

Like you'd have sprung into action if only evidence had been shoved right under your nose... 

The public pressure and opprobrium continued for months, until 2009 when Peter’s mother’s boyfriend, Steven Barker, received a life sentence for the rape of another young child, bringing closure to the public narrative. However, the legal scholar Margaret Jervis has suggested that the investigator’s reliance on a very young child witness, alleging a crime several years in the past, casts doubts on its veracity and on the conviction itself.

Wait, what..? Are you seriously defending a paedophile? What happened to 'believe the child'?

I don’t wish to reattribute blame. Rather, I want to draw attention to the potentially serious consequences of blame avoidance in powerful institutions, and how rapidly others can be scapegoated – often with the help of the public and the media. It is time for the country’s 100,000-plus social workers to put an end to this. We must educate the public and politicians about the realities of protecting children. And when accusations come, we must fight our cases through the courts.

And lose them. 

Are You Reassured, Public..?

So, Cllr Aziz, how did it all go?

West Midlands Police officers, Trading Standards, Environmental Health and Licensing teams led a joint operation on the busy road to address complaints of alleged illegal vendors. The action came following a mass of complaints from residents, who claimed Ramadan turned into '30 days of hell' on Coventry Road.

Excellent, robust action is just what's needed he... 

Angry chants, pig noises and blaring car horns echoed down Coventry Road as police were chased away trying to speak to pop-up market traders. On what was supposed to be a night of community engagement in Ramadan, crowds turned on officials responding to concerns about anti-social behaviour on the Small Heath-based road.

Oh. 

Prior to the operation, Sergeant James Newton, Supervisor for Small Heath and Highgate, said: "The purpose is to enforce legislation around illegal pop-up trading tents, nuisance, anti-social behaviour and general increase. We have seen a marked increase of dissatisfaction from the local community about illegal trading, which creates heavy foot flow in the area and has a direct impact on the local community.

"The ultimate goal is to reassure the public..."

Do you think they are reassured, James? 

More Nominative Determinism In Liverpool...

Lawless appeared at Liverpool Crown Court on Tuesday after pleading guilty to one count of wounding. She was sentenced to two years imprisonment suspended for 18 months.

Who's surprised? 

The mother-of-one said she had previously had trouble with Ms Hardy but could not give any specific examples of what had been said. She claimed Ms Hardy came towards her and she felt under threat, and said she had a diagnosis of PTSD.

That's called 'getting your mitigation in first'. And Reader, will you be surprised to learn this is in no way her first offence? 

Lawless, of Everton, has three previous convictions for five offences, two of which were in November and December of 2011, the first for breaching the peace and the second for assault of a designated person carrying out their public duty. In 2022, she received a suspended sentence for assault occasioning actual bodily harm, which occurred shortly after she was released under investigation for the attack on Ms Hardy.

The justice system is doing a bang-up job with this one, eh? 

But anyway, on to the professionals to flesh out the pathetic 'defence' she relayed to the no-doubt bored cops at the time: 

Martine Snowden, defending, said her client had significant mental health difficulties at the time of the offending, including a diagnosis of PTSD shortly before.

She said the victim's father died in violent circumstances and she experienced violence within her family. Ms Snowden said Lawless then became involved with men that were violent towards her - two of which have been sent to jail for assaulting her.

In other words, she's underclass scum from an underclass family.  

She said: 'She has been existing in a long-standing fear of violence. The irony in this case is that this defendant's violent outbursts relate to everything that you can see in relation to her background as it is rooted in the damage caused to her throughout her life as a consequence of violence perpetrated towards her and in her life.'

She's not the victim here, Martine.  

In sentencing, Judge Andrew Menary KC said: 'This was a pretty outrageous offence committed by you.

'She had done nothing wrong to you at all, she was a completely innocent victim.

Well, at least one person realised that... 

'For no good reason at all you began to abuse her and threaten her and then without any warning at all you repeatedly hit her to the face using a dog lead that you had wrapped around your hand as a weapon.

'In this case however, I am satisfied that there is a genuine underlying mental health issue which requires treatment, is being treated and you are responding positively to therapy. That is the only reason I am pulling back from imposing the prison sentence you otherwise deserve.'

Who wants to bet this won't be her last offence? 

Essex Police: "We're The Worst Farce In The World!"

New Mexico Police: "Hold our Bud Light and watch this!"

Shocking bodycam footage shows the moment New Mexico police shot dead an innocent man after approaching the wrong house on a domestic violence call out...

Whoops! 

...before firing at the victim's screaming widow.

/facepalm 

Farmington Police Chief Steve Hebbe said he could not yet explain why officers turned up to the wrong address. He told a news conference at Farmington Police Station: 'That's the worst part of this for us.'

Actually, I really don't think it is...

Ummm....

Arsenal forward Reiss Nelson is facing a criminal trial in September after his dog allegedly attacked a masseur in his north London home, Sportsmail can reveal.

The 23-year-old was charged after Tiago, believed to be a Staffordshire bull terrier, allegedly attacked massage therapist Saeid Motaali on December 2, 2020, leaving him with injuries.

That's no Staffie...

 

"This Is How You Spell It, Isn't It, Editor?"

"Ah, who cares, our 'readers' only look at the pictures anyway..."

Sunday Funnies...

"What important research did you do in the lab today, Lazzaro?"

"I don't want to talk about it..." 

NOOOOoooooOOOOO!

Why, Microsoft, just WHY?!?

Microsoft's Windows is ditching a classic feature of PC keyboards that dates back around two decades – and users are not happy about it.

Print Screen is a button on PC keyboards that takes a screenshot and automatically copies it so users can paste it into another application, such as Paint. Now, an upcoming update for Windows 11, called KB5025310, will change this so the Print Screen button opens up Microsoft's Snipping Tool instead.

Oh, FFS! Why mess with this? 

To restore the Print Screen key's traditional functionality, you have to head to Settings on your Windows 11 PC, followed by Accessibility and Keyboard. You then have the option to toggle on or off 'Use the Print Screen key to open Snipping Tool'.

Whew! Panic over! 

This Slope Is Getting Awfully Slippery...

Parents in the Netherlands can now euthanise their terminally ill children aged 12 and under plans to widen the countries existing end of life laws.

Good grief! 

The rules would apply to an estimated five to 10 children per year, who suffer unbearably from their disease, have no hope of improvement and for whom palliative care cannot bring relief, the government have said.

'The end of life for this group is the only reasonable alternative to the child's unbearable and hopeless suffering,' the government said in a statement.

Well, no doubt it'll be strictly regulated and only the most severe and hopeless cases wi... 

It comes nearly four years after 17-year-old Noa Pothoven was legally allowed to die at home after medics allowed her to refuse food and drink.

The Dutch teen from Arnhem felt that life had become unbearable and she could no longer carry on after she was attacked and sexually assaulted on three separate occasions, beginning when she was just 11 years old.

Oh. 

Either Way, It Costs Us, And Not Just In Money...

According to the Government’s Net Zero Growth Plan, released this week, dairy cows will soon be fed supplements to reduce the amount of methane they expel through belching and breaking wind.

The methane suppressants contain additives like seaweeds, essential oils, organic acids, probiotics and antimicrobials that reduce the amount of gas produced by digestion.

No, it's not a late April Fool. It's real, and we are the fools for electing a 'conservative' government that proposes it... 

The plans are expected to add around 33p a year to the cost of milk for the average consumer but ministers could also choose to subsidise the superfood feed.

With our money. Of course. 

H/T: Ian J via email

'Appalled', No Doubt, But Not Shocked...

...surely no-one could claim shock, could they?

A grieving mother last night said she was 'appalled' after two doctors who allowed her 12-year-old son's schizophrenic killer to roam the streets escaped disciplinary action.

Jo Wood lambasted the General Medical Council (GMC) for dropping cases against psychiatrists Dr Adnan Khan and Dr Manesh Rajendraprasad – despite being criticised by a damning inquest over their failure to detain Terence Glover in a secure hospital.

Proof that these reports aren't worth the time and effort it takes to compile them, much less the paper they are expensively printed on...

The GMC launched an investigation into both, but the MoS can reveal it has decided to take no further action against either of them.

It ruled Dr Khan's failures in accessing the nurse's notes and arranging a follow-up appointment with Glover were 'at the lower end of the seriousness spectrum'. Similarly, mistakes made by Dr Rajendraprasad 'were not serious enough to warrant action'.

What is, these days? 

Too Little, And Far Too Late...

The Health Secretary has written to the heads of NHS quangos to demand that they review their membership of Stonewall and ban diversity officers.

In a letter seen by The Mail on Sunday, Steve Barclay insisted that organisations including NHS England report on whether inclusion schemes were value for money.

The battle is lost already, because the time to act on dangerous parasites is before they burrow their way in, not after. As these other headlines will show...

And the media are also lost:

Imagine dreaming of becoming a journalist, visions of Woodward and Bernstein, and the lure of a Pullitzer going through your head, and then being instructed to write that...

Don't Words Mean Anything Anymore..?

It's not 'secure' if they are allowed out, is it?

Mosa Jamal Abid, 26, was out on an escorted trip to a newsagent on Uxbridge Road, in Ealing, west London, when he ran off at approximately 3.00pm on Monday.

*sighs* 

This is the second time he has escaped after he previously fled from Homerton hospital in 2019.

*headdesk* 

Detective Inspector Alistair Stillgoe, from the local policing team in west London, said: 'I recognise this will cause concern in the community, however, I want to assure you that we have officers working round the clock to find Mosa and return him to hospital as soon as possible.'

Why? So he can go for the hat trick? 

Yet More Joined-Up Government...

So, you'd rather they smoked real cigarettes instead, as Tim points out?

/facepalm

The Department of Health and Social Care (DHSC) is trying to balance finding ways to cut underage vaping while at the same time ensuring vapes are available to help adult smokers to quit.

We are ruled by morons. 

The government has an ambitious plan of making England smoke-free by 2030.

The government has lots of ambitious plans. They backfire more than Wile E. Coyote's do...  

But This Isn't 'Controversial'...

A pub landlord at the centre of a row over golliwogs has denied that he is racist after controversial social media posts from him emerged declaring support for...

Apartheid? Forced repatriation? Brown sauce on bacon sandwiches instead of tomato?

...'White Lives Matter'.

Ha ha ha ha ha! Try harder, race baiters.

He faced a huge social media backlash and was accused of being racist after his hard-hitting posts were circulated by critics.

It wasn't anything like 'a huge social media backlash'. Ask Nike what one of those looks like. These people aren't 'critics'. They are race baiting shit stirrers and should be regarded as such.

In the latest twist to the controversy, historic Facebook posts from Mr Ryley also show him posting: 'Black Chancellors matter' in October 2022 in a reference to former Chancellor of the Exchequer Kwasi Kwarteng.

The monster, eh?

Mr Ryley, who is the licensee of The White Hart pub is due to be questioned by police when he returns from Turkey next month. He is being investigated for a hate crime because of the display of golliwogs in his pub.

He added: 'I will have a solicitor with me and I'm looking forward to defending my position. The golliwogs are not me being racist, they are a reminder of my childhood. I don't understand how anybody could be offended by them.'

They aren't. They are pretending to be, with the full collusion of the disgraceful Essex Police.  

Why Not Teach Them Mime Instead..?

Elizabeth Corbett was at work when she received a distressed video call from her children to say her husband David, 51, had fallen ill.

By the time she got home, paramedics had arrived but could not explain to Mrs Corbett what had happened.

She's deaf. And apparently illiterate, because no-one appeared to consider the option of writing 'He's dead' on a piece of paper... 

East Midlands Ambulance Service (EMAS) said it was deeply sorry.

As expected. So...how did she finally get the news? 

Mrs Corbett, 43, from Chellaston in Derby, eventually learned of her husband's death via a video call to her employer.

Hmmmm, something not right here. 

"The children were amazing, they performed CPR until the paramedics arrived.

"But when I got there the kids were stood on the lawn crying and the emergency services wouldn't let me in the house.

"Not one of them could communicate with me and I couldn't explain who I was."

Couldn't your children explain for you, then? Did you have no ID, since you'd come from work? Why do I get the feeling we aren't being told the full story here?

"I wanted to know what was happening and the police were asking me questions, but they were all wearing facemasks so I couldn't tell what they were saying.

"Eventually I contacted work and the receptionist spoke to the paramedics who told her that David had died. So I found out over FaceTime that he had gone."

And, of course, this is an OUTRAGE! and SOMETHING MUST BE DONE! 

Mrs Corbett, who was born without hearing, is now calling for all emergency workers to have sign language training and a fully charged iPad so that they can connect to a qualified interpreter instantly.

Oh, FFS! 

H/T: asiaseen in comments at David Thompson's blog

They Had No Standing To Give Such Orders...

...so 'defying' them is absolutely the right thing to do:

A pub landlady today defied authorities and put more of her golliwog collection back on display just days after 20 of them were seized by police as part of an investigation that she and her husband had committed a hate crime.

She added: 'The police took 20 of my golli dolls but I've got plenty more of them upstairs. If people don't like them and feel offended by seeing them then they don't have to come into my pub. It's as simple as that. I'm not going to give into this crazy political correctness. We have customers at this pub from all different races and none of them have ever complained about seeing my gollis on display. Why did the police get involved in this?'

Indeed, a good question, since thay utterly fail at their real job, when needed... 

The White Hart pub is located on the edge of a council estate in Grays notorious for crime and drug dealing.

Ms Ryley and other regulars fumed that police rarely attend when called out for 'real' crimes and slammed the presence of six police officers who removed the golliwogs from the pub.

So what prompted the action now, given a previous complaint to the council had been seen off? 

The landlady claimed that the complaint was made by a customer who entered the pub three weeks ago and asked her to remove the golliwogs as he found them offensive.

She said: 'None of the regulars had ever seen him before, he's not from around here and doesn't even drink in this pub. He walked in, took some pictures, complained and then left.'

We will, of course, never know his name. He'll be protected by the Essex plod better than any supergrass... 

A Home Office source said: 'The Home Secretary's views have now been made very plain to Essex Police so they're under no illusions.

'Police forces should not be getting involved in this kind of nonsense. It's about tackling anti-social behaviour, stopping violence against women and girls, attending burglaries and catching criminals – not seizing dolls.'

Over to you, Essex plaod. What will you do now, meekly accept defeat, or double down and send more officers to remove these new dolls?  

Move It Monday: April

As we head into April and hopefully warmer weather, it's the incomparable Miami Sound Machine with 'Dr Beat':

I Didn't Think Columbia Could Spare $3.5M ....

...must less spend it on assuaging animal rights nutters:

Authorities said they plan to capture and move nearly half of the hippopotamuses in the coming months, with 10 bound for the Ostok Sanctuary in northern Mexico, and 60 destined for an as-yet unnamed facility in India.

“The whole operation should cost around $3.5m,” Ernesto Zazueta, the owner of the Ostok Sanctuary said.

Well, you know what you could do instead, don't you? Upwards of £5k a pop, and the food's better than Africa! 

Since the hippos escaped after Escobar’s death, the government has repeatedly failed to tame the booming population who have made the Magdalena River basin their home.In 2009 it tried culling the animals but stopped after a graphic photo caused national outrage.

A sterilization programmed remains in place but the hippos breed faster than local experts can find, catch and castrate them.

There's a lesson here for everyone, isn't there? 

It's About Making A Show Of Power...

If clubs have requested a stoppage before the game, the referee will signal for a break, allowing Muslim players to eat and drink at pitchside. Everton's game against Tottenham was stopped in the 26th minute to allow players that had been fasting during the day to take on energy supplements.

But wait, wasn't that after sunset anyway? Reader, you guessed correctly... 

Although sunset was before kick-off, allowing players to break their fast, a drinks break was pre-agreed with the referee when both teams - including Toffees trio Abdoulaye Doucoure, Amadou Onana and Idrissa Gueye - came to the side of the pitch to take on fluids.

It's not doing its job - which is not the job they claim - if the kuffar don't see it, is it? 

I never thought I'd say this, as an Englishwoman born and bred, but...why can't we be more French?

Meanwhile, France's football federation (FFF) has told referees they must not pause matches to allow Muslim players to break their fast during Ramadan.

"Football does not take into account the political, religious, ideological, or syndical [trade unions] considerations of its actors," read an email to officials. "It is up to all of the parties involved to make sure it is respected."

*sighs* 

H/T: Ian J via email

Happy Easter Sunday...

...however you choose to celebrate. 

Normal Bank Holiday service will resume tomorrow.

"“You’d think there’d be a systems (sic) with the technology today that would have picked it up immediately.”"

Forget it, Dylan, it's the civil service...

On one day, 580 envelopes flooded in, as Chinese companies had used his Cardiff flat address to register themselves with HMRC to pay VAT. The overall debt came to £500,000, Davies told the BBC.

Even worse, the error was not picked up by HMRC’s internal systems.

Yeah, well, why would you expect it to? 

He informed police and HMRC, but the bills kept on coming and HMRC did not respond, the Times reported. Action Fraud said it was “unable to identify a line of inquiry”. Most of the firms were online businesses without any presence in the UK.

Finally, he got through to them. Partially, anyway.

HMRC’s permanent secretary, Jim Harra, said 2,356 of the 11,000 businesses registered at the address owed it money. Harra said systems had been put in place to stop Davies being sent more letters or businesses registered to his address.

However, he added investigators “so far have found no evidence of fraud or fraudulent intent”.

They couldn't find their own anuses with both hands and a hunting dog... 

The financial crime consultant Graham Barrow said he suspected it was fraudulent activity from the overseas companies. “It looks to all intents and purposes like VAT fraud,” he said. “There’s no other reason why you’d register for VAT at a complete stranger’s address, particularly for 11,000 companies to do that.”

Barrow believes the firms are collecting VAT from their buyers but not paying it to HMRC.

Davies said: “[They] need to tighten up completely. [It’s] easier to register a company for VAT than it is to go and get a bus pass.”

At least buses actually exist... 

Oh, We All Understand Why, Mrs Ryley...

Benice Ryley, 61, was quizzed by six officers after police received an anonymous complaint about The White Hart Inn in Grays, Essex.

She and husband Chris, 64, who is currently abroad, had displayed their collection of 15 dolls after receiving them as gifts from customers over the years.

Dolls..? Well, yes, they are creepy, with their dead eyes and blank stares (rather like Essex coppers, come to think of it!) but does it require a police res...

Oh. 

On Tuesday, Essex Police raided the pub and confiscated the dolls, saying they were investigating a 'hate crime'. They also took a book about the history of golliwogs.

CCTV shows six officers walk into the bar and question Mrs Ryley at a table. One inspects the bar before taking the dolls and putting them in an evidence bag.

Why? Did they swab them? Get them forensically examined? Is this the first such complaint? 

Reader, it is not: 

The raid comes after the couple refused to remove the black-faced dolls after the local authority received a complaint in 2018.

Thurrock Council launched an investigation after a whistleblower claimed the golliwogs were offensive and represent a racially aggravated crime. But Mr Ryley said the dolls were 'here to stay' and his no nonsense approach paid off after the council confirmed no further action will be taken.

So what happened in the last five years? Or has it taken that long for Essex plod to reach the bottom of the paperwork pile?  

Mrs Ryley said today: 'I don't understand why we have to go through all this again.'

Because the progressives don't like to lose, Mrs Ryley. 

'We have the police taking away information that is literally the history of this country. And why?

'We are quite happy to call them dolls, not golliwogs, but even the officer who wrote down the inventory as he was taking them away described the larger one as a golliwog and the others as golly dolls.

'So even the police don't know what to call them. I understand that some people may not like them and they are entitled to that view, but they don't have to come into the pub.

'As far as we are aware we are not breaking any laws by displaying them, and that was proved last time when we were investigated. If we were not breaking the law then, why are we breaking the law now?'

A very good question. One that Essex plod should have to answer. 

A spokesman for Essex Police said: 'We are investigating an allegation of hate crime in Grays reported to us on 24 February.

'On Tuesday, 4 April, we attended a location off Argent Street, Grays, and seized several items in connection with our investigation.'

Pointlessly. Don't you have better things to do? 

Oh, If Only There'd Been Some Signs Of Impending Disaster...

So, the 'oh he collapsed before the dog panicked and attacked' excuse didn't wash at the coroner's inquest: 

Ian Symes, who weighed 7st 12 lbs and was 5ft 10ins, was walking the 'powerful' American Bully XL at a public park in Fareham, Hampshire when it overpowered him, the hearing was told.

The Bully XL - which shares DNA with banned American Pit Bull Terriers - reverted to its 'aggressive' natural instincts and repeatedly bit down on Mr Symes' neck after he began playing with it.

Youngsters saw Mr Symes screaming for help and being mauled to death, it was heard.

God, what a thing to witness. But how could this all go so wrong? 

The 34-year-old had been looking after the seemingly 'soppy and friendly' dog named 'Kong' for a friend, who bought it the day before over Snapchat from travellers without any paperwork.

Oh...  

Kong had been kept in kennels at the travellers site and was dehydrated and being toileted on a balcony when he arrived at Mr Jones' flat.

*blinks* 

Dr d'Sa said a tea-towel found next the dog and Mr Symes' body may have been used for 'ragdoll-like' play, which she said was dangerous. Dr d'Sa said: 'I believe it was a play exercise that got out of hand and turned into predatory behaviour very quickly.'

And yet he was supposedly 'experienced with dogs'. You have to wonder what - specifically - he was experienced in, don't you?  

Dr d'Sa, who was hired by police to work on the case, told the inquest: 'He had an exceptionally large mouth and an exceptionally powerful jaw.

'He was so easily aroused by toys that play quickly became aggressive.

'The difference in what we did and what he did... I had the dog on a rope-chain, the dog had a muzzle, and I had an expert handler and the police there.'

Armed police, I hope, for your sake... 

At the inquest, Kong's owner Mr Jones - 20 at the time - said it was bigger than he expected when he bought it. He said: 'He looked smaller in the pictures, I was quite surprised by how big he was.

'He did pull quite a lot, I did struggle to walk him, I was a bit worried about that.'

This new information makes the decision not to charge this brainless moron even more suspect, doesn't it? 

I Clearly Need To Read My New Testament Again...

...because apart from a little ruckus at the temple, I don't recall anything like this in it:

A transgender pastor from North Dakota has compared the treatment of Nashville shooter Audrey Hale to the crucifixion of Jesus Christ less than a week after the twisted killer murdered six people, including three nine-year-old children.

Yup, you read that right. I had to twice, even though, y'know, 'murica! 

Micah Louwagie, who goes by they/them pronouns, was recently installed as the pastor of St. Mark's Lutheran Church in Fargo, and delivered their first Easter-themed sermon to a small congregation on April 2.

When you employ someone for their identity, don’t be surprised when everything becomes about their identity… 

'Some folks have tried to focus on eradicating trans people as a solution, because they have been waiting, just waiting for an opportunity such as this. They've been waiting for a reason, any reason to stoke their hatred.'

Six dead people, three of them children, all of them completely unconnected to this deranged bitch, seems like a good enough reason. 

The pastor goes on to slam 'allies' who abandon or 'betray' transgender people likening that to Jesus' disciples who fled when he was arrested.

If at this point, no-one got up and walked out, then I guess that makes the congregation as bad too, eh? 

'Marginalized folks, those of us with the least amount of privilege and power, they need those who have more privilege and power than they do to physically place their bodies between them and the people, powers and institutions that are literally killing them,' Louwagie said in the shocking sermon.

Isn't it strange how these 'marginalised people' appear to have every single organisation in thrall to them, and acquiescing​ to their increasingly outrageous and biology-denying claims?

As part of the controversial sermon, Louwagie appeared to also draw comparison between the treatment of trans people in the United States with the Holocaust and Japanese internment camps.

Lutherans everywhere should wonder what the hell happened to their religion that it tolerates this. The rest of us just roll our eyes and wonder when the pandering will stop... 

'Secure', 'Insecure', What's the Difference?

Church warden Beryl Purdy was found bludgeoned to death at her country home where police had been called to a burglary in progress. Avon and Somerset Police confirmed the suspect was reported to them as a missing person before Mrs Purdy was found dead at her home in the small Somerset village of Broomfield, near Taunton.

Missing from...? 

A spokesman for the force said the arrested man in his 30s was missing from a mental health unit - but not a secure mental health unit.

Are any of them secure? 

Villagers say they felt 'anger and disgust' at the sudden death of the active pensioner who was at the heart of village life. One resident described Mrs Purdy as 'an absolute pillar of the community'.

They should be feeling anger and disgust at the people supposedly employed to keep the community safe, but who always act after the fact, not before: 

Avon and Somerset police chief inspector Justin French said: 'A cordon is in place while enquiries are carried out.

'There will be increased police activity in the area while a full and thorough investigation is carried out by our Major Crimes Investigation Team.

'We understand that events like this, while rare, may cause alarm and distress in the community.'

Rare..? Who are you kidding? 

Snatching Defeat From The Jaws Of Victory Again...

In the dock at Reading Crown Court for sentencing on Wednesday, March 9, was Aaron Allen.

The 33-year-old, who lives at Howarth Court, Newbury, was caught by police driving a hired vehicle in the town on December 30, 2021, with around £1,000 worth of cannabis and cocaine worth more than £3,000 in 'deal' bags.

Bang to rights, m'lud! 

Allen admitted possessing the Class B-controlled drug cannabis with intent to supply it. But he insisted the cocaine, a Class A-controlled drug, was for his own use – and this was accepted by the Crown Prosecution Service.

*blinks* Whut..? 

Judge Norton demanded an explanation of that decision from Matthew Knight, prosecuting. She said: "Do explain to me how having that amount of cocaine represents anything other than intent to supply."

Well, yes. We'd all like to know... 

Mr Knight said an expert consulted by police said that, in the absence of any other evidence, the amount of cocaine suggested Allen "may" have been dealing. He added: "As the drugs expert wasn't more forceful in their opinion, it was decided to charge him with simple possession.

"It could have been tested before a jury but the reviewing officer felt the crown didn't have a realistic prospect of conviction."

*sighs* 

Judge Norton later made clear that she did not believe for a moment that the cocaine was purely for Allen's use, but that her hands were tied and she would sentence him according to the lesser charge.

The defence tried the usual mitigation-bollocks, including the fact that 'hey, he's not a thief to fuel his habit, he works for a living!' 

Judge Norton said: "He was arrested with 53 bags of cocaine worth £3,220...I have to say, it doesn't add up.

"The pre-sentence report says he has a cocaine habit costing £20 a day.

"Common sense would dictate that was not all for his own use.

"He was on universal credit but could afford to buy drugs and afford a hire car."

Hurrah! Finally, a judge with...

Oh. 

Nevertheless, she told Allen: "Whatever my cynicism suggests, the fact is you've pleaded guilty to simple possession of cocaine and the prosecution decided to accept that plea.

"I can't go behind that, whatever I might think."

She sentenced Allen to nine months imprisonment.

Judge Norton added: "The guidelines state that, when there's a relatively short sentence, or one on the cusp of a custodial sentence, it may be appropriate to suspend it.

"Given the current state of prisons and the overcrowding, I am going to suspend that sentence for 15 months."

*weeps* 

H/T: Ian J via email 

FAAFO*

A 21-year-old YouTuber was shot in the stomach and left fighting for his life after he claims he played a 'simple prank' on a stranger inside a Virginia mall.

It is not clear what Cook's prank entailed, but his previous form includes pretending to vomit on an Uber driver and asking strangers to play naked Twister.

 

'I was playing a prank and a simple practical joke, and this guy didn't take it very well,' said Cook, who added that the incident will not deter him from continuing to make videos.

Let's hope the next guy's aim is better...

*Fuck around and find out

It Should Be Your Position...

An NHS trust has sparked fury after warning that immigrant doctors who take to picket lines could be referred to Border Force.

*cheers loudly* 

The message, which was circulated on social media, drew the ire of junior medics and the British Medical Association (BMA), which said it 'will unnecessarily instil fear and doubt' among doctors.

And no doubt drew the approval of all those patients whose operations and treatment will be cancelled as a result of the greed of people we are told are 'necessary' to the functioning of the NHS... 

Lewisham and Greenwich NHS Trust has admitted that the message was from one of their staff. But a spokesperson insisted it is not their policy and apologised for the distress caused.

They added that the message was sent in a local Whatsapp group who 'made a mistake'.

'It has been corrected internally at the most senior level and we have assured our all teams, including our international colleagues, that this is not our position,' they said.

Pity. It might raise the NHS satisfaction levels a little if it was... 

It's Not Whether You Win Or Lose, It's How You Play The Game...

...and that goes double for the race-baiting crowd:

As of Friday morning the ECB’s comprehensive 82-page report into all of this is now upon us, complete with the verdicts on charges against seven well-known Yorkshire cricketing figures. At the end of which it will be tempting to conclude that there are no winners in this; or perhaps that only Vaughan emerges with any credit, successfully cleared of a single charge of having referred to four players of South Asian origins by referring to them as “you lot” in the famous huddle.

But the truth is the ECB’s judgment is a victory for Rafiq.

Eh..? How on earth do you reach that conclusion? It's been a complete loss for race-baiters, hasn't it? 

As usual...

...the fact is nobody can doubt Rafiq’s testimony now. For all the pain, embarrassment, and abuse, the viciousness of having his character dissected in public, the key point of all this has been upheld. And Rafiq has only ever had one point to make, that Yorkshire CCC’s institutional racism had damaged careers and lives, and that those concerns had been glossed over both by the county and initially by the ECB on Tom Harrison’s watch.

Ah, yes, Rafiq's character. Well, he's only got himself to blame for all that, hasn't he? 

... it is now a mater (sic) of public record that Rafiq was routinely referred to as “Kaffir” and Ismail Dawood as “Token Black Man”. It was found that Bresnan called Rafiq’s sister “a fit Paki”. It was found that John Blain used the P-word. More usefully we know that there was and still is a massive cross-purpose misunderstanding of what racism is, and that, for example, Matthew Hoggard genuinely believes Matthew Hoggard is best equipped to decide this matter.

There certainly seems to be a big blind spot with regards to racism, when it's only one race that's ever deemed guilty of it... 

There are those who will now crow and celebrate Vaughan’s vindication, while also pointing to the less admirable qualities of Rafiq dragged across the stage for the crime of daring to speak out.

Well, imagine if he hadn't spoken out. We wouldn't know anything about his 'less admirable qualities', would we? 

I expect that's white society's fault too.