A wedding was wrecked when the bride's dad was punched to the ground by a guest – just as he was about to make his speech, a court heard.*gets popcorn*
Dad Stewart Waters was rushed to hospital by ambulance with head and mouth injuries after the blow from his nephew Daniel Porter at the reception in a Cotswold barn near Dursley.Ah, not just a ‘guest’, then? Also a family member?
*gets more popcorn*
The prosecution alleged bodybuilder Mr Porter, 29, struck out because he was angry with Mr Waters for breaking the news to him that his dad, Michael Porter, had been married twice before marrying his mum.
It was a family secret Mr Porter had never heard before that day, said prosecutor David Chidgey.Blimey, it’s like ‘Eastenders’!
Mr Porter, of Billingham, near Middlesbrough, pleaded not guilty to assaulting Mr Waters causing actual bodily harm.
After telling the jury he had acted in self defence he was found not guilty.The judge, it seems, wasn’t all that happy with this turn of events…
But Judge Jamie Tabor (Ed: Oh, hai!) refused to grant a defendant's costs order to Mr Porter.
He said: "He misread the situation entirely and ruined a jolly nice wedding."Perhaps the judge was rather incensed at his feeble attempt at an excuse?
"I swung a punch at him and unfortunately hit him in the face and he went down. I only hit him because I thought he was going to hit me. It was self-defence."How do you swing a punch hoping not to hit someone? Unless you’re a Hollywood stuntman, that is?
Jason Coulter, defending, said: "Family weddings can be fraught with difficulty.
"They have almost become caricatures, haven't they?"No, most of them are normal, because most families are normal…