Standard 'Daily Mail' Headline: "IS THERE A KILLER IN YOUR HOUSE!!!???"

Admittedly, usually it's cancer-causing chemicals in your shampoo or deadly germs lurking on yout keyboard. But they've really excelled themselves this time:


       


And now, all over Britain, people are pausing on their way to the grill, bacon in hand, nervously eyeing their dozing Springer Spaniel or Dalmatian, wondering if today's the day they meet their maker...

I mean, really, how have we all survived up until now? Every Sunday, millions of lunches are cooked without anyone needing to engage in hand-to-paw combat with a crazed beast.

I suppose it makes a nice change from the left-wing, press, all far too busy trying to excuse murderous Islamic killers to worry about trying to excuse Fido. But still, it's ridiculous. There's only one reason why this poor man was savaged to death in his garden.

Well, actually, two, it seems:

Mr Clarke’s next-door neighbours – two women, 27 and 28 – were arrested.

He was savaged to death because - while we frown on guns in this country, despite no gun in the history of the world ever loading itself & jumping next door's fence to shoot someone -  we allow the underclass to own and raise four-legged burglar burglar-defence systems with no restrictions whatsoever...