Assault With A Deadly….Reptile?

A father-of-four threw a lizard at a man in a revenge attack, a court heard yesterday.

We aren’t told what type. Of lizard, I mean. I think we can guess what type of ‘father of four’ we’re dealing with here…

“The defendant walked off to a nearby park, where he was seen sitting quietly with the lizard on his shoulder,” said Lynsey Knott, prosecuting in Nottingham.

When put inside a police van, Dunn urinated in the rear and spat at a police officer.

There’s no mention of how the lizard behaved, though we can only assume it was a lot better…

Miss Knott said Dunn told police he launched the attack because the man had assaulted him several years earlier. A nine-month prison term, suspended for two years, was imposed on Dunn, of Clifford Avenue, Beeston.

Steve Ramsell, in mitigation, said Dunn had a series of problems and had been drinking on the day of the offences.

Bit of an understatement there...