Sunday 21 December 2014

Well, This Doesn’t Bode Well For The Future Zombie Invasion…

A man phoned police after his neighbour
Broke in? Threatened him?
posted a giant photo of a grinning Sir Cliff Richard in the window overlooking his dining room.
I…

I just…
James Maltby said the image of the beaming pop star was “creepy” but police told him they could not do anything about the picture – because it was not a zombie.
Say what..?!?
“They said if it was a picture of a zombie they could do something about it, but because it is a picture of a face they cannot.”
Really? A picture of a zombie would be illegal? What else is illegal, the Loch Ness Monster? Bigfoot?

And…how are police supposed to request the public’s assistance in the expected zombie outbreak if they can’t put up ‘Crimewatch’ posters?

My god! This could be the end of us!
The neighbour, James Dean, said he was “surprised to find myself amidst a most bizarre misunderstanding” and the image was posted by a “comrade” as a “comical greeting”.
*baffled face*

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Yes people really do ring us for trivia like this.I would imagine that the PC is having a little joke with the caller regarding the zombie tomfoolery.
I certainly would be had I been called to this.
Jaded

Anonymous said...

Jaded, can't wait for the replies to your comment. I wonder if the police should publish more of the utterly stupid calls received, and the AMB and Fire services. Amazing how many are from the vibrant and diverse groupings who wouldn't dare do the same in their shitholes of origin.

Budvar said...

Was about to say the same thing Jaded.. I remember the time I was in the guard room, and answered the phone to someone who'd missed his train, and would be a bit late.

"Hi, I'm Gunner Singh, from Bristol".

"Here Sarge", says I, "There's a bloke here who says he's gonna sing from Bristol"?

"OK" says Sarge, "Tell him we're all listening".

"No no, I'm Gunner Singh, from Bristol"

"Yes" says I, "We got that, and we're all listening, do you know Danny boy"?

"Look I'm Gunner Singh..".

"Yes and we're still listening, don't know Danny boy eh? What about Swing low sweet chariot? That's always a good one.. You know.. Swing low sweet chariot, coming for to carry me home"..

By this time the lads are all stood on the desk singing away, actions and everything.

We kept this up until his money ran out.. Still, it all helps to break the monotony..

Furor Teutonicus said...

All kinds. Not new either. I am going back to the 80s.

03:00 hours "I can not get my cal fire to light!"

Similar time of day; "I am not getting any hot water!"

or; "My cat has not come back for breakfast, it is an hour late now, I want to report it missing." (On the emergency number, mind!)

Here; "A conker fell out of a tree and has dented my car!" (trouble is here, that is the law. You want to report anything to the insurance, no matter how minor, you need a police report record. Which, in Germany, can NOT be taken over the phone. Two men and a patrol car are out of action for half an hour or more, because some prick parked under a chestnut tree!)

The firebrigade have these as well;

"There is a pidgeon in the tree in my garden, and it has just sat there for an hour. I think it is stuck. Can you come and rescue it?"

JohnM said...

My three year-old grandson has the answer to Zombies. He plays a Zombie game at school.

The other day he came running into the kitchen shouting to his Mum, "The Zombies are coming, run for your knives".

Mt daughter said that she laughed, but did not correct him.

JuliaM said...

"I would imagine that the PC is having a little joke with the caller..."

Sadly, if he has a sense of humour, it's a sure bet the press doesn't!

"Amazing how many are from the vibrant and diverse groupings who wouldn't dare do the same in their shitholes of origin."

Really? I'd have thought this was a home-grown chav problem, in the main.

""Here Sarge", says I, "There's a bloke here who says he's gonna sing from Bristol"?"

SNORK!

"(trouble is here, that is the law. You want to report anything to the insurance, no matter how minor, you need a police report record."

Good grief!