Monday 1 October 2018

The Ones That Everyone Ignores..?

The government is to produce the first official guidelines on the maximum amount of time young people should spend on social media, health secretary Matt Hancock says today, amid growing concern about the links between its excessive use and mental health problems among children.
In an interview with the Observer before the Conservatve (sic) party conference, which opens this weekend in Birmingham, Hancock says he has instructed the UK’s chief medical officer, Dame Sally Davies, to draw up advice as soon as possible that he hopes will become an accepted “norm in society”, like that on recommended maximum alcohol consumption for adults.
Because that is obeyed so well...
This would, he believes, “empower” parents and teachers as they struggle to enforce sensible limits and explain them to children.
'You have to do this, the government says so!' 'But mummy, you drink far more gin than the government recomm- *slap* Waaaaaaah!'
As a parent you want to be able to say, ‘the rules say you shouldn’t use social media for more than a certain period of time’. This is why we have a chief medical officer: to set a norm in society, make judgments on behalf of society, so that individual schools or individual parents don’t have to decide.”
*bangs head on desk repeatedly*


staybryte said...

This is a "conservative" government. Allegedly.

jack ketch said...

*bangs head on desk repeatedly*

...after you with that desk please, Joolz.

Sam Duncan said...

But how do they know what the “correct” amount of time is?

“... like that on recommended maximum alcohol consumption for adults.”

Ah. They're going to pull a completely arbitrary number out of thin air, saturate the media with it, and hope the proles don't notice. (See also “five a day”.)

“*bangs head on desk repeatedly*”

Budge up there...

The Cowboy Online said...

I think we're going to need a bigger desk. Sigh.

Bloke in Germany said...

Ye ftop prefse - 1483:

Ye governemente hath decreed that ye younge peoplef are fpending too much time reading these new fangled thingef called ye bookef rather than engaging with their peerf.

Ye Prime Minifter will iffue new regulationf forthwith.

JuliaM said...

"This is a "conservative" government. Allegedly."

It's becoming increasingly apparent that under May, it's nothing of the sort.

"But how do they know what the “correct” amount of time is?"

Pulled it out of their nether regions, just like the drinks limits, I suppose...

"I think we're going to need a bigger desk. Sigh."

My next PC desk is going to have to be padded...