Saturday 6 October 2018

Use Enough Gun


The Norfolk and Suffolk forces have revealed they have “measures in place in the event of large animals escaping from Banham Zoo or Africa Alive”.
In a joint response to a request under the Freedom of Information (FOI) Act, they said: “Suffolk and Norfolk constabularies own a high-powered rifle and suitable ammunition for dispatching large, thick-skinned animals.”
So the police have bought themselves a .375, have they? They don't reveal the make, but since the taxpayer's on the hook for it, I expect it's a top-of-the-range Holland & Holland...

But aren't zoos required, as part of their licence conditions, to have firearms on site? Why can't the police rely on these?
Depending on the level of threat to the public, the zoos would work closely with Norfolk and Suffolk Police, who both share a high-powered rifle with 0.375 calibre ammunition - around a centimetre thick - to shoot large, thick-skinned animals such as white rhinos and Congo buffalo.
Wait, who owns this gun? The zoo, or the local plod?
Insp Nick Russell said the rifle was a relatively new purchase made around three/four years ago and that all rifle officers have specific training for shooting animals
The Yorkshire police farces could not be reached for comment!
“We didn’t have anything sufficient to deal with rhinos,” Insp Russell added.
You could always ask the Labour Party conference chairman what precautions they take should Diane Abbott ever refuse to leave the buffet...

4 comments:

jack ketch said...

“Suffolk and Norfolk constabularies own a high-powered rifle and suitable ammunition for dispatching large, thick-skinned animals.”

Riiiight...one shared rifle...kept where? So in other words if it is Norfolk's turn to keep the rifle and a wild,furious, thick skinned animal escapes from Ipswich zoo and goes all Godzilla on Harwich, stomping and fire breathing a trail of death and destruction , the police marksmen have at least an hour's wait after their senior officers sign off on the use of communal Game rifle whilst someone brings it from Norwich....even with Bluz & Toonz (which every Norfolker driving knows DON'T apply to him). You only have to watch King Kong to know how much damage a wild animal can wring in an hour. Mind you Ipswich could only be improved by its being trodded flat and incinerated.

And what happens if an animal escapes from, say, Banham zoo or Thrigby Hall- both in the Marchlands of the Border twixt Norfolk and England? Who gets to play with the big gun then? "Hold on! The GPS is saying Rita Repulsa's Beast Of The Week has just crossed back into Norfolk after sinking the chain ferry (yes really-Ed) and is now snacking on the contents of the Reedham Petting Zoo! (An unfortunate name for a Norfolk zoo I would have thought) "

Fun poking at Police Bureaucracy aside, why did they only go for a three-fifty-seven and not something like a Rigby Nitro? Something that will go through the dogger's car (Norfolk.Country-Cide) parked up behind the elephant that is behind the rhino?

Andy said...

... to visit the gent's.

Lynne: ex-Counting Cats said...

I would suggest that the White Rhino in the picture is probably more at risk of being eaten by the Flabbott if it stands still too long...

JuliaM said...

"...the police marksmen have at least an hour's wait after their senior officers sign off on the use of communal Game rifle whilst someone brings it from Norwich..."

I guess they'd call on the airforce to send up an A-10... :D

"I would suggest that the White Rhino in the picture is probably more at risk of being eaten by the Flabbott if it stands still too long..."

I asked Diane if that was true. She just asked if it came with chips.