More than 40 rules are being introduced by Enfield, including a ban on model aircraft and roller-skating in an “annoying” or dangerous way.How do you roller-skate other than in an annoying way?
Adults caught breaking the new rules could face a £500 fine while children will be dealt with under “anti-social behaviour laws” meant to stop vandals and noisy neighbours.Where are they going to get the staff to patrol to prevent this? I thought they were supposed to be cutting back?
And some of the things that are now verboten are simply bizarre:
Rules include: “No person shall without reasonable excuse climb... any tree.”I wonder what they term ‘reasonable excuse’? It can’t be ‘Well, my kite got stuck in the tree’, can it, since they’ve banned that!
Amy Bhatti, 48, a mother of three, said: “We’re meant to be encouraging people to be active and get kids playing, so how is this going to help? They’re just being killjoys.”Yes. Indeed they are.
People also face being fined for swimming in lakes, playing golf, “riding a horse in a way that endangers others”, using a metal detector or roller-skating in an “annoying” or dangerous way.What possible reason could they have for banning metal detectors?
Challenged by the Standard, Chris Bond, the Labour-run council’s cabinet member for environment, defended the rules.Well, of course he did. Don’t they always?
Just once, I’d like to see someone say ‘Eh? We said what? Wait, that can’t be right. I’m going to have words with the idiots in that department!’.
He said: “Enfield is the greenest borough in London, we are proud of our parks and would actively encourage our residents to enjoy these fantastic facilities. If park staff think trees are being damaged or the individuals doing so are likely to injure themselves we’ll ask them to stop, but we certainly aren’t advocating a ban on tree climbing and having fun.”Ah. So ‘having fun’ would be regarded as having ‘a reasonable excuse’ under the stated law forbidding tree climbing, would it?
Or don’t you ever actually read what you’ve put out before you open your big mouth to the press in order to cram your size 12 into it?