Saturday 5 May 2012

”Let’s go fly a kite…”

”…but not in an Enfield park. ‘Cos it’s banned. Along with any other pleasurable activity”:
More than 40 rules are being introduced by Enfield, including a ban on model aircraft and roller-skating in an “annoying” or dangerous way.
How do you roller-skate other than in an annoying way?
Adults caught breaking the new rules could face a £500 fine while children will be dealt with under “anti-social behaviour laws” meant to stop vandals and noisy neighbours.
Where are they going to get the staff to patrol to prevent this? I thought they were supposed to be cutting back?

And some of the things that are now verboten are simply bizarre:
Rules include: “No person shall without reasonable excuse climb... any tree.”
I wonder what they term ‘reasonable excuse’? It can’t be ‘Well, my kite got stuck in the tree’, can it, since they’ve banned that!
Amy Bhatti, 48, a mother of three, said: “We’re meant to be encouraging people to be active and get kids playing, so how is this going to help? They’re just being killjoys.”
Yes. Indeed they are.
People also face being fined for swimming in lakes, playing golf, “riding a horse in a way that endangers others”, using a metal detector or roller-skating in an “annoying” or dangerous way.
What possible reason could they have for banning metal detectors?
Challenged by the Standard, Chris Bond, the Labour-run council’s cabinet member for environment, defended the rules.
Well, of course he did. Don’t they always?

Just once, I’d like to see someone say ‘Eh? We said what? Wait, that can’t be right. I’m going to have words with the idiots in that department!’.
He said: “Enfield is the greenest borough in London, we are proud of our parks and would actively encourage our residents to enjoy these fantastic facilities. If park staff think trees are being damaged or the individuals doing so are likely to injure themselves we’ll ask them to stop, but we certainly aren’t advocating a ban on tree climbing and having fun.”
Ah. So ‘having fun’ would be regarded as having ‘a reasonable excuse’ under the stated law forbidding tree climbing, would it?

Or don’t you ever actually read what you’ve put out before you open your big mouth to the press in order to cram your size 12 into it?


Pavlov's Cat said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Pavlov's Cat said...

'Rules are good, rules help control the fun' -- Monica Geller

Anonymous said...

How can you be forced to pay £500 for flying a kite ? It's not illegal, and the Councils do not own the land we do.

Something went seriously wrong somewhere. We have had the ground stolen from under our feet by custodians,then charged a rental fee for standing on it (plus fines if you stand in a incorrect way).

A salt and battered said...

I ask myself where we would be without new rules and clampers. You know, those peaked-capped mercenaries of the permanently etched 'gotcha' expression, armed with their ticket machines and dispensing a constant stream of on-the-spot fines with Teutonic efficiency.

What kind of public parks would remain were we to reject the established notion of an army of enforcers which was supported and enabled by a complex of council rule-makers?

In the aftermath of the elections were are desperately in need of new rules to maintain the status quo. Any cynicism in public, or laughter contrived in a sneering sort of way, could be monitored by eavesdropping equipment in public areas. These activities offer new horizons for the imaginative bureaucrat whilst monitoring provides the prospect of employment for those of an anti-social disposition, previously unemployable as a result of the handicap.

In the absence of commonsense, Society must have these standards.

JuliaM said...

"'Rules are good, rules help control the fun' -- Monica Geller"

I knew there was a reason she was my least favourite....

"Something went seriously wrong somewhere. "

Indeed it did.

Brian, follower of Deornoth said...

Does "attaching a rope in order to hang a councillor" count as a "reasonable excuse" for climbing a tree?

Anonymous said...

It is great sport for such as I (retired) to pop into Council offices and ask if there is a bye-law against 'genuflecting in a public park as I believe this activity is a really good way of releiving oneself of tensions'? A mixed reception so far and I'm running out of local councils. Perhaps this should become a national sport?