Tuesday, 8 May 2012

Only In Bristol...

A man has been jailed for five and a half years for slashing the throat of a neighbour, who survived by stemming the blood with a doner kebab.

Of course, if he'd been following government healthy eating guidelines, he'd have been dead now! Mind you, he was the architect of his own misfortune...
An earlier trial heard that Mr Hobbs had bought the kebab and on his return home, banged on the door of Edney's flat in Charlotte Court, where both men lived. He accused of Edney of having an affair with his girlfriend and punched him, before falling to the floor with a wound from a knife which Edney had brought with him as he answered his door.
Mr Hobbs held the kebab to his neck for several minutes until his cousin found a towel to cover the deep cut. He lost over six pints of blood and was rushed to hospital in a critical condition, unable to talk.
Lovely! And I think a 'Sun' headline writer shows up in comments:
by Dominic83
“The headline for this article should have been 'A GONNA IF IT WASN'T FOR THE DONER'.”


James Higham said...

How the other half lives [if lucky].

David Gillies said...

When in urban combat situations, I have found that hummus makes a good, if slightly messy impromptu burn dressing. Tzatziki sauce is good for cleaning a fouled gas return port on a GPMG and falafels can be wielded at close range if running low on ammo.

JuliaM said...

"How the other half lives [if lucky]."


"....and falafels can be wielded at close range if running low on ammo."