Monday 14 May 2012

Oh, Yes. He’s A Keeper, Love..

The hearing was told how a refuse supervisor was to tell police he had been " disgusted ," by what he had seen, as there were a lot of people around and children had been on the street on their way to school not long before.
Roberts, a young dad with a drink problem, ended up being struck with a baton and pava sprayed by police in the garden, but was so inebriated, it didn't seem to have much effect.
In fact, it had about as much effect as the justice system itself:
He was given a two month curfew, seven days a week, between 8pm and 8am and must pay £55 costs.
*sigh* Bring on the usual excuses:
Richard Taylor, for Roberts, said he had a partner and two year old child. He showed "very, very genuine remorse," for what happened. The solicitor told the bench: "He appears before you a chastened young man, embarrassed and ashamed for what he has done.
"He is somebody who recognises he has a significant problem with alcohol and since this incident, he has self referred himself to Inspire."
Totally believable. Well done for keeping a straight face, Mr Taylor.
Mr Taylor said Roberts had been at his friend's house and had gone out into the garden to urinate, but things went a stage further.
What sort of friend sends you out into the garden when you want to spend a penny!?
He continued: "Nobody under 18 witnessed this incident. As soon as police arrived on the scene, he pulled his pants up."
The solicitor added the defendant, who was on benefits, suffered from schizophrenia and was on medication, but had not been taking it at the time.
Mr Taylor added: "He recognises it's not the medication for schizophrenia that's causing the problem, it's the alcohol. This may be the wake-up call that he has needed."
Surely it’s his partner who should be heeding the wake-up call? But then if she started out with the assumption that an unemployed outdoor-urinating schizophrenic with an alcohol problem was a prime mate in the first place…

12 comments:

Anonymouslemming said...

problem was a prime mate in the first place

Well, he seems pretty close to a primate, so maybe she just got the spacing confused ?

Robert the Biker said...

"What sort of friend sends you out into the garden when you want to spend a penny!?"

The sort that KNOWS just what a useless pisshead he is perhaps.

Woman on a Raft said...

I wonder if the child and girlfriend are real or imaginary? The solicitor is under no obligation to verify the client's fantasies. A schziophrenic with a drink problem sounds like they might have a shaky grasp on objective reality at the best of times.

Captain Haddock said...

" .. had been at his friend's house and had gone out into the garden to urinate ..

He was given a two month curfew, seven days a week, between 8pm and 8am and must pay £55 costs" ...

Bet that's the most expensive "penny" he's ever "spent" .. ;)

Anonymous said...

Comments on the original article made me smile. The usual, never mind about the guy committing the crime, what about those nasty police.

"What has happened to common sense, and what about the POLICE BRUTALITY mentioned.
Or doesn't the beating of a drunk young man with a baton merit comment."

Well yes it does, in this case beat him some more! In fact beat him until he realises that being pissed and making a nuisance of yourself in public at 9am is unacceptable, that being a schizophrenic and not taking your medication is unacceptable, that living on benefits and fathering children is unacceptable.

Furor Teutonicus said...

Strange sort of trousers where you have to pull them down for a piss, I would have thought.

Captain Haddock said...

"Strange sort of trousers where you have to pull them down for a piss, I would have thought" ...

I suspect they were probably either track-suit or shell-suit bottoms, rather than "proper" strides ..

Furor Teutonicus said...

XX I suspect they were probably either track-suit or shell-suit bottoms,XX

Ahh. THAT sort of low life.

Was Chavkecks not a President of Czekoslovakia at one time? :-))

Furor Teutonicus said...

XX I suspect they were probably either track-suit or shell-suit bottoms,XX

Ahh. THAT sort of low life.

Was Chavkecks not a President of Czekoslovakia at one time? :-))

JuliaM said...

"Well, he seems pretty close to a primate, so maybe she just got the spacing confused ?"

:D

"I wonder if the child and girlfriend are real or imaginary? The solicitor is under no obligation to verify the client's fantasies. "

Hmm, I wonder. No doubt there was a plethora of reports and statements from the SS and other care authorities to back it up, though.

"Comments on the original article made me smile. The usual, never mind about the guy committing the crime, what about those nasty police."

Quite! Probably from people who'd never dream of living anywhere near people like this.

"Strange sort of trousers where you have to pull them down for a piss, I would have thought."

As Capt Haddock points out, FT, trackie-bottoms are the chav apparel of choice.

Woodsy42 said...

"What sort of friend sends you out into the garden when you want to spend a penny!? "

French ones perhaps, male pee is excellent for the garden apparently.

Anonymous said...

he has self referred himself to Inspire."

This is classic, I think you should put together a list of all these type of remarks.
John Gibson