Sunday, 15 March 2015

I Beg Your Pardon..?!?

Lesley Ashton, prosecuting, said: "The lover responded by going around to the defendant's home where she had a conversation with the defendant's wife.
"The defendant arrived at the address and essentially told the lover to get out of the house.
"The defendant agrees that he did tell the lover to get out of his house, that he was pushing at her, that he did get hold of her pink stick (Ed: !!!!) and did spit at her.
"Clearly being spat at is an unpleasant experience. I do ask you to consider compensation if you think it is appropriate."
I…

Umm…
District judge Nigel Cadbury gave him credit for his early guilty plea. However he said: "I do have to bear in mind you have a number of convictions, one of which was similar although on that occasion it was an assault on your wife and on this occasion a different female.
"To be angry with the female and blame it on anybody else is quite wrong. I think you appreciate that now if you didn't at the time."
Unemployed Akhtar was given a 12 month community order to include supervision for 12 months and unpaid work for 100 hours.
*sighs*

4 comments:

8a7d44b2-c230-11e4-a501-b78fe07746c6 said...

I reckon the pink stick was in her handbag, my missus has a purple one which lights up like a flashing xmas tree in the dark.

Dr Cromarty said...

Hussain Akhtar, eh? Unemployed? Still manages to keep two women on the go. One his culturally acceptable wife, no doubt, and a whitey for some extra-curricular fun. All courtesy of the taxpayer.

We're signing our own death warrants.

Anonymous said...

Gosh. There is clear evidence of gullibility on the part of this Worcester gentleman. Few men would ever trust a lady endowed with a pink stick which exceeded 130 mm in length.

JuliaM said...

"... my missus has a purple one which lights up like a flashing xmas tree..."

*gulps*

"Hussain Akhtar, eh? Unemployed? Still manages to keep two women on the go. "

We'll have to stop calling them 'beer vouchers'...

" Few men would ever trust a lady endowed with a pink stick which exceeded 130 mm in length."

:D