Tuesday 20 December 2011

At This Rate, The Next Season Of ‘Educating Essex’ Will Have To Be X-Rated…

Head teachers in Hampshire will no longer be able to wash their hands of the troublesome students they have expelled.

New measures would mean heads will be responsible for youngsters’ education even after they have been expelled – with exam results and truancy figures counting against the previous school’s record.
Oh, great! I can’t see any reason why this shouldn’t be a stonking success! Can you?

I mean, we all saw what behaviour they could get away with already…
Schools Minister Nick Gibb has unveiled the proposals, to be piloted ahead of a possible roll out across the country.
Today, Hampshire! Tomorrow, the rest of the failing school system!
Ministers say too many youngsters are condemned to a future of failure when they are sent to the likes of Pupil Referral Units (PRUs) under the care of local authorities.
So instead, heads will dig their heels in even harder over expelling the little s**ts and instead they’ll drag down everyone’s school experience…

Great! Who said we had a ‘terrible, right wing Tory government’ again?
The Department for Education pointed to figures showing less than two of 174 16-year-olds in “alternative provision” in Hampshire, and the same low number in Southampton secured five good GCSE results, including English and Maths, according to the latest figures.
And did anyone at the DoE stop and think ‘Well, maybe that’s the fault of the students themselves’…?

7 comments:

ayesha said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
A salt and battered said...

JuliaM could be transfixed by a six year sentence handed down to X-Rated Father-of-four Russell Dew, 44, an officer with Nottinghamshire Police.

Oh wait, there's the usual discrediting of witnesses, successful appeal, reinstatement and massive compensation, yet to come.

JuliaM said...

Take your flight spam elsewhere, ayesha, there's a dear...

Richard said...

"The Department for Education pointed to figures showing less than two of 174 16-year-olds in “alternative provision” in Hampshire"

'Less than two' - that's called 'one' by normal people, isn't it?

Mick Turatian said...

Less than two

That would be "fewer than two", always allowing for lack of integrity from alternative provision.

Hexe Froschbein said...

I think the head teacher who made the kids in his school freeze on 'eco day' is onto a good idea here...

All we need to do is to install air conditioning in the class rooms we use for the unruly kids and keep that at a steady 5C.

Combine this with an infinite loop of the appropriate Khan Academy videos projected on the wall, and a chance at the end of the school day to take the automated Khan Academy tests which when passed are the ticket back to the normal warm class room.

Btw, given that head teachers all earn the same or thereabouts, why should they actually worry about how good or bad their school is? Especially since an attempt at improving the situation is penalised with extra hassle...

JuliaM said...

"... X-Rated Father-of-four Russell Dew, 44, an officer with Nottinghamshire Police. "

*dumbstruck*

"'Less than two' - that's called 'one' by normal people, isn't it?"

Or as Mick points out, 'fewer'. I'm not sure where the error occurred, the journalists or the civil service PR department.

Ahhh, sack 'em all!

"Btw, given that head teachers all earn the same or thereabouts, why should they actually worry about how good or bad their school is?"

Good point!