I'm Not In The Slightest Bit Concerned...

Deputy Assistant Commissioner Laurence Taylor said:'I fully appreciate the public will be very concerned. '

What's to be concerned about? Did the police throw a handcuffed prisoner off the bridge for shits n' giggles? That'd be something to be concerned about...

The father of a labourer who entered the Thames as he was being arrested after a drunken row with his girlfriend today accused police of 'watching' him die, claiming his son could have been saved as the water was only 'waist-deep'.

At the point he went in, yes, no doubt. But this sorry collection of chavnames are the ones to blame for what happened here, entirely. 

Liam Allan was on a night out in Kingston, south-west London, with his partner, Caitlin, and teen brother Ethan Adami-Clack on Friday when he entered the water via steps by Bill's restaurant on Riverside Walk just after 10.30pm.

She reportedly ran to the corner of the bridge where she saw him swimming away from police, and officers are alleged to have tried to stop her chasing after him.

So they saved her from drowning with him. Win some, lose some! 

The response of this kid's father is quite telling about what sort of person we are talkiing about here: 

'Why did the police even take him down to the river bank? It was an alleged theft, but his girlfriend was always ringing the police over him for something, and it wasn't a theft. They were out together, what would he have taken?'

Who know? That's why the police were in the process of arresting him, so they could find out... 

Mr Allan, who did agency work in construction but wanted to be a rapper...

Say no more. 

"We Must Do Something!"

Ms Ambler told the BBC: "If Rob hadn't had access to such a deadly weapon, there's a chance that Kelly, Ava and Lexi could still be here.

"This could have been prevented if gun licensing guidance was tougher."

It's not already tough enough? And deranged men and women haven't managed the same result with ordinary household items?

Kelly’s family want to see people who lie on their applications banned from re-applying, as well as licences to be reviewed more frequently.

Which wouldn't have done a single thing to prevent this murder, because it only came to light after he'd done it. And where are the police going to find the time?

They also want closer working between GPs and police forces and for people with recurring periods of depression to be barred from getting a licence.

That'll be good, since the GPs are just sitting there twiddling their thumbs, waiting for something to do... 

She Should Be Sacked, No Doubt...

...not for going out, getting drunk and making a disgusting spectacle of herself, shocking as that is. But for this:

PC Shearer denied the allegation to her colleagues, but was found by a police disciplinary panel in Middlesbrough to have lied and tried to hide the truth by changing her story about what had happened. Allegations of discreditable conduct and breaches of honesty and integrity were proven.

Yet the officer escaped with a written warning and was allowed to keep her job with Cleveland Police.

What sort of absolute idiot made such a decision?

Ogheneruona Iguyovwe, the panel's independent chairman...

Oh! 

...said: 'This officer is 24 years old. There is scope for her to be rehabilitated, there is scope for her to set the record straight and to begin on a new path.'

Listen, Ogheneruona, it might be ok for police officers to be liars in your ancestral homeland, but in England, we expect better. 

The controversial decision yesterday prompted Cleveland Chief Constable Mark Webster – who said her actions are 'incompatible' with his force's standards – to intervene. He said he was concerned about the outcome and 'legal options' were now being considered.

Good! Because what sort of job could she now do with the police anyway? 

Olivia Checa-Dover, representing the force, told the panel its findings that she had been dishonest meant she was now 'undeployable' as an officer. As she lied while being questioned on oath, that would have to be disclosed to defence lawyers in any future investigations she carried out, the barrister said.

You can just imagine it, can't you? 

In evidence her boss Inspector Christian Duree said: 'She deals with members of the public exceptionally well.'

Perhaps you should be investigated too, then. Or are shop staff not 'members of the public' to you? 

Iraq? Mogadishu?

A police statement said: “They were able to extract him through significant crowds in challenging circumstances to a waiting ambulance.”

Some other Third World hellhole where injured peoples' rescue is hampered by people behaving like animals? 

No. Ladbroke Grove in London. Oh, of course, forgot to mention. It's that time of year.

Police said 209 arrests had been made by early Tuesday, including 46 for assault, 36 for possession of drugs, 33 for possession of an offensive weapon, 27 public order offences and eight sexual assaults.

And they call it 'Carnival'... 

Shutting The Stable Door...?

A fruit picker accused of stabbing to death nine-year-old Lilia Valutyte has reportedly been rushed to hospital after being slashed and battered by a shank-wielding cellmate in a brutal prison attack.

 But wait!

Skebas was under constant supervision following his return to prison.

 *hollow laughter*

Yeah, You Might Just Be Right, Julie...

Oh, come on, that's just late middle-age talking, surely? They aren't that ba...

OK. Never mind.

It Does Feel Like It, Doesn't It?

Matt, there, summing up succinctly as always...

A Picture That Sums Up Modern Britain...

And also, modern journalism.

 H/T: Ian J via email

Sunday Funnies...

To save time, I tend to believe they all are...

Get The Popcorn Ready!

An official inquiry will find that the mayor of London wrongly ousted Cressida Dick as commissioner of the Metropolitan police, the Guardian has learned.

The findings come from a special commission conducted by Sir Tom Winsor, the former chief inspector of constabulary, after Dick’s decision to resign in February. A draft of the government-ordered report finds that Sadiq Khan did not follow due process and that Dick was unfairly treated, branding the mayor’s actions and decision-making as “irrational” and “unreasonable”.

A furious Khan is consulting lawyers, and believes the report to be biased and factually flawed. The report also says the mayor’s treatment of Dick was “oppressive”, and that she was placed under unfair pressure.

Delicious!

 

And Nor Should They...But The NHS Should!

Scotland Yard will face no action from the police watchdog over the disappearance of Owami Davies, despite the fact officers spoke to her the same day she was reported missing after being called to welfare concerns.

Good. They shouldn't face any. What were they supposed to do, when at the point they spoke to her they didn't know she was a missing person? 

Good to see them hitting back at the usual suspects whining about 'racism'.

Fears for Miss Davies' safety had been mounting over the past two months after she was last seen walking north along London Road in Croydon on July 7 after leaving her family home in Grays, Essex three days earlier - having told her mother she was going to the gym.

Despite the arrests of five people and numerous appeals for information, some 50 officers were struggling to locate Miss Davies as they trawled through 117 reported sightings of her and 50,000 hours of CCTV footage as they frantically worked to retrace the student nurse's steps.

All for nothing. She wasn't missing at all. She was just another flake with mental issues.   

Her colleagues at Guy's and St Thomas' NHS Foundation Trust (GSST) added: 'We are delighted that our colleague Owami has been found and is safe. Thank you to everyone who helped to find her.'

Shouldn't that be 'ex-colleague'..? Surely the NHS isn't so desperate for nursing staff it's considering taking on a mentally-troubled recruit? 

It comes as it emerged that an NHS trust offered her a job then withdrew it because she did not respond to her emails while she went missing.

A spokesperson from GSTT also confirmed to MailOnline that the job offer was withdrawn due to an automated system when a response was not received. They said in a statement: 'Owami has been offered a job with our Trust but unfortunately our automated system withdrew this when a response was not received within a specific timeframe.

'As soon as this was discovered we very quickly reinstated the job offer which remains open.'

Oh. Apparently they are... 

Yeah, Sure, Tell Us Another...

...reliving the moments before the high-speed crash, Zamarod said she and Yagmur had begged the driver to slow down:

'Rida liked to drive fast and he likes to tease people when they are in the car. We were going so fast as soon as we left the Wish Lounge.

'When we got on the A40 I told Rida to slow down. We stopped at a red light by the BP garage and then Rida started going fast. He just kept going faster.

'I told him to slow down and touched his arm. Yagmur was also telling him to slow down. She had a previous bad experience and didn't like going fast. We were both afraid.

'I looked over at Rida and touched his arm to say slow down. He looked me in the eye and said it will be cool.

'Just then Yag shouted out that there was something in the road. I don't know what it was, a cat, or another animal. Rida went to the side, and once that happened we just took off.'

Should the police actually decide to charge him, and the useless CPS prosecute, his defence thanks you for the assist. 

Seriously, how big would the 'cat' have to be for them to spot it at the speed they were going? 

She said members of the police crash investigation team have yet to interview her and she has not made any formal statement about the accident. Zamarod contacted MailOnline via a video call from her Instagram page.

*sigh* I guess they were too busy dealing with the other fatal incident caused by idiots in high powered cars, eh? 

Stopping Them Burning Our Money...

The Mayor of Andover has spoken out about his ‘disappointment’ after fellow councillors voted against his proposals of appointing a town crier and purchasing new regalia for the town council.

At a full council meeting on Wednesday, August 8, Cllr David Coole put forward a motion which suggested that £4,000 be spent on appointing a town crier, following a competition to find the best candidate.The motion also proposed the purchasing of new regalia, at a cost of up to £12,000.

Both motions were overwhelmingly rejected.

Good! 

And when you're looking through your stock photos of a traditional town crier, 'Andover Advertiser', this isn't it: 

Mind you, these days, who knows? It probably would be!

H/T: Ian J via email

TfL: "We're An Unbeatable Laughing Stock With Our 'Sexual Staring' Poster Campaign!"

Aussie nightclub: "Hold our spiked drink, cobber!"

An iconic nightclub will introduce hi-vis 'staring police' who will kick out revellers if they look longingly at a stranger across the dancefloor without prior 'verbal consent'.

*blinks* 

Long-established venue Club 77 in the heart of Sydney's Darlinghurst party strip has overhauled its safety and harassment policy to make the venue a 'safe space' that promotes a strong culture of consent amid a crackdown against harassment.

The venue stresses interaction with strangers is encouraged but says engagement must now start with prior verbal consent or will otherwise be considered as harassment and will result in being evicted from the club.

What happened to you, Australia..? Where did you lose your way? 

'We adopt a policy of 'always believe the report' in cases of harassment and feeling unsafe.'

We've all seen where that leads. Why can't you? 

'Experts', What Do They Know..?

Mr Harrison said a report from a dog expert identified two 'plausible' explanations; either Rocky had felt threatened and reacted, or that children had ice creams and the dog had tried to bite one and caught the victim's face.

*rolls eyes* 

He added: 'There was no sustained attack, it was a lunge.

'Ultimately, the report concludes, if properly managed the dog isn't a danger.'

Thankfully, the JPs decided differently, and sentenced the mutt to a one-way trip to a vet. The feckless owner won't see a minute of jail time, though. When do they ever?

He was also ordered to pay the young girl £1,500 in compensation, a £128 victim surcharge, £185 in legal costs as well as the £2,500 cost of keeping Rocky in the kennels. 

The chances of seeing a penny of that are slim in the extreme. 

I'm assuming that's a mangled attempt at a 'collapsed lung', but who knows?

 

Dogs Now Benefit From Identity Politics..?

A woman attacked by a vicious dog who chewed her "like a piece of meat" was left with skin grafts, stitches and needing intense rehab to enable her to walk again.

The woman, who does not want to be identified, was attacked by a Bully Kutta, while walking her two small dogs in January.

A what..? 

The attack has left the women "scarred" and it took her several months to build up the courage to walk her dogs.

She is now campaigning for the law to be changed, as she has not heard from the police since the initial attack regarding whether a prosecution is being brought against the owner.

She said: “Why are the police not doing more? Why are people still allowed to own dogs like this?”

Perhaps because another name for the Bully Kutta is 'Pakistani Mastiff'... 

The dog was seized by authorities three days later and is believed to still be in police kennels.

Not before it had attacked another dog, because incompetent police didn't seize it immediately after the first attack... 

But the woman has queried why it hasn’t been destroyed and why, as a taxpayer, she is paying for the police to keep looking after an animal which has caused her such horrific pain.

We'd all like to know that...

According to Lancashire police, the incident remains under investigation and the dog is still in police kennels. It is not known if the RSPCA has been involved, nor is there any suggestion that the animal is going to be destroyed.

It should have been disposed of by an armed officer, not collected in a police van... 

'Great Guys' Don't Do This...

One of Mr Al Mousawi's friends earlier said:'He is a great guy and we all knew him as he had quite an active social life. He was single.'

No, actually he's an utter menace who has killed one woman stupid enough to accept a ride from him and so very nearly killed a innocent cab driver.

The large Iraqi community who work in restaurants, bakeries and money exchange shops on the Edgware Road were all aware that Mr Al Mousawi had been involved in the A40 crash. The black metal shutters at the jewellery store remained closed.

'It is just terrible, and we knew something was wrong when he did not come to open the store,' said a neighbouring storekeeper. 'We heard he was involved in the crash (Ed: Err...) and in a very bad way. We are all hoping he survives as he is such a nice young man.'

Another jeweller added: 'He is a very nice person. We would always say hello and he was friendly. Everyone around here knows about the A40 crash. When you look at the photos of the car it is a miracle that he is alive.'

They speak about it as if it was an act of nature, like a flood or lightning strike. Not the stupidity and arrogance of one man...

Says It All, Doesn't It..?

A foreign criminal ranked as one of Britain's 'most-wanted' offenders was finally caught after an international manhunt lasting more than a decade – but was then inexplicably set free.

In a case that highlights the failure of the justice system to protect the public, Romanian knife thug Adrian Vasilescu is now back on the run.

It's not at all 'inexplicable', though.

In 2011, the 42-year-old – who was wanted in his homeland for slashing a woman's throat with a broken bottle – featured in a Crimestoppers list of dangerous foreign criminals in Britain.

He was traced to the Manor Park area of London and appeared at Westminster Magistrates Court for extradition. But, freed on bail, he failed to comply with an order to check in with police and subsequently disappeared – for almost a decade.

What's that old saying, 'Fool me once..'? 

Then, in 2020, Vasilescu was arrested by police investigating the attempted murder of a woman in Paisley, near Glasgow, who had been repeatedly stabbed. But he was let go from custody again and, when the case came to trial earlier this year, he failed to turn up.In a decision rounded on by critics, Vasilescu had, astonishingly, been granted bail – even though he was a known flight risk.

Who is really astonished by this? It's what we've come to expect.  

Last week he was due to be sentenced for the 2020 attempted murder. But the sentencing could not go ahead – as court officials admitted they had no idea where he was.

Here's a thought - let the idiots who granted him bail serve his sentence until he's caught. 

A spokesman for the Scottish judicial system said decisions about granting bail 'must consider the unique facts and circumstances of the case and of the accused'.

Wouldn't that concentrate minds, eh? 

Your Wee Dram Is About To Get More Expensive...

The Scottish First Minister could stage a new crackdown on the whisky industry north of the border. The move could be introduced amid fears emissions from the "angel's share" of casks are harming both the environment and human health.

Good grief, it's one of the few things Scotland provides that people want to buy! 

Researchers have been asked to suggest possible "mitigation strategies" for "controlling" whisky-related emissions. However, this has led to a backlash from the industry.

Sadly, not the sort of 'backlash' that would result in the election of a new First Minister... 

H/T: The Jannie via email

"Oh, I Do Love To Be Beside The Seaside..."

Oh, wait. Maybe not:

Pollution warnings are in place for dozens of beaches in England and Wales after untreated sewage was discharged into the sea around the coast.

Official data shows there have been a number of discharges since Monday, which Southern Water says are to protect homes and businesses.

By poisoning the oceans and anyone holidaying in this country? 

Near Bath is a popular swimming spot along the River Avon called Warleigh Weir which runs through an area belonging to landowner Johnny Palmer.

Untreated sewage has been released just upstream. Mr Palmer has been working for years to make the water clean enough to gain bathing water status.

"I think it's a disgrace. You've got children swimming. And you know, you can't tell your kids to not drink the water. So you've literally got children drinking sewage, which is the kind of thing you might expect in parts of Africa or India, but, you know, Western Europe," he said.

Well, the government is doing its best to replace the population of Western Europe with that of Africa and India, so... 

H/T: Ian J via email

Asking For A Friend...

...now the ‘plucky little Ukrainians’ are murdering terrorists, are we still expected to cheer them on?

Haven't They Suffered Enough..?

I suspect the answer would be whatever the Ukranian is for 'Thanks awfully, but I think I'll stay here in this warzone'!

H/T: The Jannie via email

I Think I'll Stick To A LandRover, Thanks!

 

Where do you get a 'major driving licence'? And would my existing licence wallet be able to cope with it?

H/T: Fred via email

Sunday Funnies...

Truly, the closest thing we have to an alien society on earth...

Still Clapping, Are We..?

Despite ministers' calls for the NHS to cut back on 'waste and wokery', some groups use taxpayers' money to put on events around transgender issues, sexuality and racism, often held during the working day.

These have included 'tea and rainbow cake' picnics, a special session about pronouns and a Filipino martial arts performance. Amid fears of an impending winter NHS crisis, the audit by the TaxPayers' Alliance found there are now at least 493 networks across the UK health service.

Stop calling, and start ordering.

The true figures are likely to be higher as only 111 out of more than 230 trusts responded to Freedom of Information requests.

Start sacking those who refuse to comply.

They only cover time spent running the groups, not attending them.

You couldn't make it up, could you? And in the crazy world we live in now, you don't have to...

Hey, Dina, You Better Run Faster, Girl..!

“It was just ‘girl stuff’,” she replied. “It’s just frustrating. It’s one of those things. It’s a shame because I’m in really good shape and I was really looking to come and run fast.”

The 26-year-old urged sporting bodies to provide far more funding and research. “More people need to research it from a sports science perspective, because it’s huge,” said Asher-Smith. “People don’t always talk about it either.

“Sometimes you see girls that have been so consistent and there’s a random dip and behind the scenes they’ve been really struggling. Everybody else will go ‘What’s that? That’s random.’

“So we could just do with more funding. I feel if it was a men’s issue there would be a million different ways to combat things.”

Because when the trans activists read this, you'll be running for more than just gold medals! 

Don't you know it is a man's issue these days?

Get Norway Fisheries Staff To Assist You, Liverpool Cops...

A four-year-old boy has been left with serious, life-changing injuries after being attacked by a dog in Liverpool. The child was injured in the face and head by a Bull Mastiff type dog during a visit to a friend's house in Norris Green on Saturday, said police.

A "brave neighbour" fought the dog off and "probably saved the life of this young boy", a spokesman said.

Well done, that man! And did the Liverpool cops turn up and finish the job then and there? 

Reader, of course they didn't. 

"Our enquiries into the full circumstances of the incident are ongoing, and we have seized the dog for the safety of the community and to establish its breed."

It doesn't need to be alive to do that, does it? 

Why not a cultural exchange programme to assist you in dealing with dangerous animals?

What Are You Worried About...?

...you know people like you never are:

Ieuan Bennet, defending, said she was a mother of two children and was worried about them if she was imprisoned.

Thomas was sentenced to eight months imprisonment suspended for 18 months.

See...? 

You Have Got To Be Kidding...

Female police officers in London could be told to...

Pull their weight better? 

...wear hairnets again, as an incoming chief says a smart uniform plays a key part in public confidence in the force.

*blinks* WTAF..? 

Dame Lynne Owens, who takes over as deputy commissioner next month, criticised 'inconsistent hairstyles worn on duty' and suggested that standards of dress for all serving officers in the Met would be examined.

Christ, wasn't Cressida Dick bad enough? We have to have this mad bint in the (thankfully temporary) hotseat to trash what's left of the Met's reputation?

If that's even possible... 

The force is currently in special measures due 'systemic' failings, officers were found to have shared 'grossly offensive' messages in a WhatsApp group with Wayne Couzens and recently a mother recorded one officer telling her 'I'd like to search you'.

When Dame Lynne posted the photo, a user questioned her priorities, to which she replied: 'I honestly believe the two are connected. Of course the primary measure is public service.'

No, the primary measure is to root out the bad apples who see being a police officer as a fast route to ripping off the public. 

Still Think Shoplifting Is A Victimless Crime, Progressives?

Detectives are hunting an alleged 'prolific shoplifter' who is suspected of knifing a beloved 87-year-old busker to death in broad daylight following a 'street robbery gone wrong' in a row over the pensioner's charity cash.

Local security guards at the Tesco superstore where Mr O'Halloran frequently busked outside warned the alleged knifeman had often been kicked out of local shops on suspicion of shoplifting on a handful of other occasions.

And why did they kick him out, rather than calling the police? Because they knew there was no point. The police don't bother.

A country where the local Tesco has to have security guards in the first place is a country that's lost its way, and that's before you get to having pensioners stabbed to death in their mobility scooters in broad daylight, isn't it?

Those Wheels Of Justice Are Grinding Slower...

A man has been jailed for 10 months for submitting fake details to the home office to gain the right to live in the UK.

So the punishment for this is...to keep him here another 10 months? 

On December 12 2013, Mohammed Miah, of London Street, Whitchurch, submitted fraudulent details to the home office, in the name of Shafique Miah. As he was not a British citizen, he therefore obtained leave to remain in the UK by deception, contrary to the Immigration Act 1971. Furthermore, the 67-year-old was found to be in possession of a Bangaldeshi passport on June 30 2022, also in the name of Shafique Miah, which was “improperly obtained”.

Why not kick him out now? 

H/T: Ian J via email

Dogs Of No Appearance Again..?

The two dog-walkers had been walking their own two pets last Monday when they were attacked by the animal shortly after 7.30pm.

The man and woman suffered cuts and bite marks but it is understood they were not seriously injured.

During the shocking attack, one of their dogs suffered serious injuries and later died.

Lucky that Dangerous Dogs Act was beefed up, eh, so the police can take act...

Oh. 

Police confirmed there have been no arrests and the dog which attacked the couple has not been euthanised. The force would not confirm the breed of dog.

Why not? 

I Think The Answer Is Partly 'Had A Street Name'...

Detectives investigating the suspected gang stabbing of a 15-year-old in one of London’s most exclusive suburbs have been met with a wall of silence from youngsters.

*shrugs* Mark it 'NHI' and close the case, then... 

Chief Superintendent Andy Carter, Borough Commander for Camden and Islington, said: ‘We know that there were lots of people in the park on Thursday evening, many of whom were young people who may be finding it difficult to come forward. I would urge you to think about Deshaun’s family who are looking for answers.’

Are they? 

Notes left at the scene to pay tribute to Deshaun, also known as ‘Huntz’, included: ‘Long live Huntz. You will be missed, but sleep tight beautiful boy.’

That's what we call 'a clue', I think.  

What's To Honour..?

...a number of his friends have left public messages in honour of the young man’s life. Laura Gosman Hair took to Facebook to write: “Can't quite believe it. Rip Taylor.” Luke Calder added: “Rest in Piece TP. Taken far too young.” Sophie Cooper wrote: “Love you loads Taylor Perkins always in my heart forever”. Another went on to say: “So sorry for his family who lost him far too young x.”

Oh, how sad, another young life lost to covid, or the vaccine for covid, or...

Oh! 

Kent Police said a dark-coloured Audi TT car was reported to have failed to stop when requested to do so by police at around 11.25am.

Following a "short pursuit", the vehicle was then reported to have crashed into the bus in Spitfire Way five minutes later. The driver suffered fatal injuries and was confirmed dead at the scene.

Darwin claims another! 

To Take Advantage Of The Offer, You Need A DeLorean...

...or a TARDIS:

Thousands of Royal Mail stamps are set to be unusable withing months as a new system is introduced, with some left set to be thousands out of pocket.

Brits have been warned that their ‘1st’ and 2nd’ class stamps will be unusable from January 2023 as Royal Mail begin rolling out a new barcode system to replace the traditional stamp system.

Ooh, a new computerise system, we know how good the Royal Mail is at that! 

To help with the change, Royal Mail is offering a swap system. The “Swap Out” scheme will be running from 31 March 2022 to 31 March 2023.

Wait! *checks calendar* Errr.... 

Money Saving Expert founder Martin Lewis has long suggested people stock up on stamps to beat the annual price increases.

Should have kept your mouth shut, Martin! 

H/T: IanJ via email

Once Upon A Time, You Couldn't Leave Russia...

...now it's actually being suggested as a forward step:

“I believe if you leave Russia you have to be actively against the war,” said Ira Lobanovskaya, who started a Relocation Guide from the Russian Federation chat on Telegram to advise people on leaving the country. “You can’t be outside of politics any more: that is barbaric in the current climate.”

Do you want to rebuild that wall, Ira?

Ilya Ponomarev, a former Duma deputy who has lived in exile in Ukraine since 2016, is in favour of a ban. “You cannot abstain from this war,” he said in an interview in Ukraine. “If you want to abstain, don’t complain that you are being kicked out of Europe.” He said he believed 98% of people leaving the country were not in danger but left “just because it’s uncomfortable for them [in Russia]”.

I can see why they think that.... 

"Hey, Photo Monkey, Do You Know Sport? I Need A Header Photo For This Story..."

"Errr, sure boss, leave it with me!"

H/T: IanJ via email

Fantastic Idea!

I've always wanted a room to house all my clocks!

Sunday Funnies...

I know fairy tales have darker origins, but c'mon, games and cartoon creators, knock it off!

Problems, It Seems, Of Their Own Making...

Rattigan has one previous conviction, for robbery with a knife in December 2017. The explanation he gave to carrying a knife to his probation officer was that he is a "young black man, dealing with problems that young black men have".

Obviously absorbed the rubbish his defence spouted as if it was true... 

When delivering the sentencing, Judge Rafferty said: "This could have been a murder charge if things had played out differently."

He took into account Rattigan's mental health issues, saying that Rattigan had had a psychotic episode earlier in 2022 that resulted in hospital admission.

"Don't take a chance again, you might not get another."

*hollow laughter* Good one, judge! Tell us another... 

Rattigan was sentenced to two years for unlawful wounding and 12 months for possession of a weapon, with the sentences to run concurrently. He was also sentenced to a two year community order, along with a mental health treatment requirement for the same amount of time.

Why not consecutively? 

What's So Hard To Understand?

Ian 'Wiggy' Symes, 34, was walking a customer’s dog at a recreation ground in Fareham, Hampshire, when he was attacked on Hilson Drive this Wednesday. Locals claimed that Mr Symes may have collapsed and had a seizure before the dog he was with ‘ate’ part of his face.

So, not a Labrador or a chihuahua, then? No, of course not.... 

Although paramedics rushed to the scene in Fareham, Hampshire, Mr Symes was pronounced dead not long after.

Ian's brother Martin Symes, a father-of-two, has since visited the park where flowers and messages were laid, and in a touching tribute, he said: 'The past 30 hours have been pretty shocking and very hard to really understand what happened and why.

'The facts are he was out walking a dog something he loved to do and as sad as it is least he passed away doing something he loved.'

I'm not sure that's much of a comfort, really, is it?

Julie, who works as a carer at a home in the area, said there were plenty of large 'fighting dogs' in the area.

'There are a lot of people who keep big dogs around here, generally what I'd call fighting-type dogs,' she said. 'We see them parading down the shops in Highlands Road, nearby.'

Clearly a place to avoid.

H/T: Ian J via email

Gardez L'eau!

A builder was knocked unconscious when he was hit with a bottle of pee which dropped from a 50-metre crane.

The man, who was part of a team of builders working on a new health centre in Worthing, was taken to hospital. He is now recovering at home.

Eeeeew! 

Sussex Police said the Health and Safety Executive will be investigating the incident.

I hope they remember their protective gloves... 

When Sensationalist Reporting Goes Wrong...

 

An AIRBUS A-400M, call sign Comet459, reg ZM405 went over the Quantocks, Taunton and Ilchester, before turning over HMS Yeovilton to cut up towards Castle Cary before steaming over Bruton, Frome and Trowbridge.

A rare craft indead, if it runs on steam! 

The plane flew so low over Taunton just after 5pm that passing residents were able to clearly make it out and reported being shocked by the loud roar of the planes (sic) engine. Fight (sic) trackers show the plane was doing 185mph at one point.

/facepalm 

H/T: Peter Wells via email 

Will Liz Have A Tenth Of Her Courage?

I fear the answer's 'No'...

'The truth is some battles have to be fought and won,' Mrs Badenoch wrote in The Sunday Times. On becoming equalities minister in 2020, she wanted to meet campaigners on both sides of the debate. But officials said it would be 'inappropriate' to speak to Miss Bell, who was given puberty-blocking drugs at 16.

And did Kemi meekly bow to their superior wisdom? Reader, thankfully, she did not: 

Mrs Badenoch overruled the advice to hear 'harrowing' testimony from the ex-patient. On her piece for the Sunday Times, Mrs Badenoch wrote: 'The Whitehall machine often becomes the voice of interest groups in government rather than government's voice to interest groups,' the former Tory leadership contender wrote in the Sunday Times.

'Often'..? Try 'All the time'... 

'This stems from a sincere, yet naive, belief that you can appease special interests with platitudes. The truth is some battles have to be fought and won.

'This requires strengthening a civil service that is terrified of controversy and recalibrating it towards policy and away from posturing on issues it believes as too 'contentious'.'

It's a Herculean task, but Kemi appears to have the steel to make it happen. Sadly, I can't say the same for Liz Truss. 

She insisted that not all civil servants are 'hostile' but went on: 'A small minority of activist officials are the tail wagging the dog, often to the dismay of their colleagues and the hand-wringing of far more senior officials.' She accused some mandarins of being 'too scared to challenge their own staff'.

Not 'too scared' at all, I suspect. Too much in agreement. 

Wait, I Thought This Was A Good Thing..?

Aren't we all being encouraged to eat bugs to save Gaia? 

The government is ahead of the curve for once, why are you complaining, progressives?

Might As Well Fit Revolving Doors...

The wife of a man beaten so badly he was left brain damaged says she is a 'wreck' after it emerged one of his killers (sic) will walk free in weeks.

Wait, surely not this case..? Well, Reader, yes. Of course. 

Not the two main perpetrators, though who'd be surprised at that these days? Their fellow thug, who received a lesser sentence:

...Furlong only received 20 months. Due to time already spent on remand, he is now set to be released within the next four weeks, despite only being sentenced in June.

It's a farce.  

Mr Willson's wife Annie told ITV: 'Emotionally I am a wreck. I can't allow my feelings to be shown because I have children.

'Our whole life has been turned upside down. Everyone thinks justice has been done. But really coming out after two months, that's not justice.'

Everybody doesn't think justice has been done, Annie. Far from it. 

And not just with the wretched excuse for a justice system we have in this country, either: 

Alan now has hearing problems, dental problems, cannot go to the toilet by himself or take care of his personal hygiene.

The couple are struggling to get benefits or any compensation because Alan cannot even sign his own name.

Compare and contrast that with the resources of the state that will be offering help and assistance to this piece of excrement when he skips out of the prison doors, and you begin to wonder how a country can function like this for much longer... 

What Do We Do With People Like This..?

...since it appears we're breeding more and more of them? 

The court heard Brittany has 26 convictions for 54 offences and Bethany 14 convictions for 26 offences. They are for relatively minor crimes, such as being drunk and disorderly and railway infractions.

Psychiatrists said the twins did not have psychiatric issues linked to their behaviour.

Really..? Is this normal, then? 

Following on from the psychiatric reports, Judge Mark Weekes told the girls their crime was 'in large part a desire to seek attention.'

And the justice system ensures they get it.  

They were each jailed for three years and nine months at Canterbury Crown Court.

No, that's just what they were sentenced to...

Suddenly You're All In Favour Of Parental Choice..?

A group of concerned parents disrupted a performance of Drag Queen Story Hour in Britain on Tuesday, accusing the touring troupe of trying to “groom” young children.

According to its website, Drag Queen Story Hour UK says that it provides “fun and interactive kids shows with amazing and talented drag performers!”

“Drag Queen Story Hour UK wants to show the world that being different is not a bad thing, and by providing imaginative role models for children to look up to, we can change the world book by book!”

Those of us who have attended bawdy pantomimes or - in the case of male readers - stag nights with 'exotic entertainment' will look askance at that description, I suspect...  

The women were escorted out of the library by security and police officers who attended the scene, and who had gathered in their dozens to stand guard at the event...

So, if you were burgled or mugged around this time in Reading and wondered where all the cops were, I'm sure you're comforted by the knowledge they were dealing with far more important matters...

A spokesman for the Reading Borough Council said that the Drag Queen Story Hour classes were “age-appropriate” adding that it was a “ticketed event and all parents attending were aware of the nature of the performance. It is regretful that some people chose not to respect parental choice.”

Gosh, parental choice! I thought local councils - especially Reading - had done away with that... 

H/T: i r jackson via email

"'No one has said sorry. No one has been held to account..."

And chances are, they never will be:

Deborah, who runs a nail salon, says her mother never got over the thousands of pounds worth of devastation caused by police to her home, in which drawers and cupboards were ransacked, pipes removed and her stair lift derailed. Officers even stuck their fingers into Rosemary's home-made Christmas pudding in their futile hunt for clues.

What the hell did they expect to find? 

'They turned our homes into a crime scene,' says Deborah. 'They cut a hole in my mattress. But they also helped themselves to tea and coffee and used the radio.'

I'd have spat in the milk...

'My mother never got over the shock of it. She was shunned by the community afterwards. She once went into a cafe and people moved tables away from her. She asked the police about counselling and they laughed and said: 'You're not a victim.' '

But she was. The victim of criminally incompetent Dorset Police officers.

The CPS Miss Another Open Goal...

The judge said his sentencing powers had been 'significantly curtailed by the decision to accept a guilty plea to a considerably less serious' charge than what he had originally faced.

The judge said he had 'absolutely no doubt whatsoever' that Djabouri would have been facing a longer sentence if he had greater sentencing powers and that Djabouri had played 'a leading role in group activity'.

Three years and seven months in a young offenders institution - which was what he was sentenced to, remember, not what he'll actually serve - is really no justice for beating a man around the head with a brick simply because he was Jewish, one might think... 

Djabouri, of Ilford, east London, admitted at an earlier hearing at Chelmsford Crown Court to grievous bodily harm without intent. This was an alternative to the more serious charge of causing grievous bodily harm with intent.

How can you beat a man around the head with a brick and not intend to cause GBH? The judge was clearly as frustrated: 

'Attacks on members of the Jewish community in this country are becoming increasingly and worryingly commonplace,' the judge said, adding that 'unlike members of some other communities they're easily identifiable by their clothing and appearance'.

They aren't the only ones, though. 

Mohammed Bashir, mitigating, said it was a 'despicable offence' and Djabouri 'shows a genuine level of remorse'.

No he doesn't. If he did, he'd have named his companion who'd be sharing the dock with him...

The bearded defendant, who wore a grey tracksuit and had his dark hair in a ponytail, tried to catch the attention of his barrister from the secure dock after the judge read out his sentence. Djabouri asked a question, and Mr Bashir told him: 'I'll tell you downstairs.'

What does the CPS have to say for themselves for yet another failure to do their job properly? 

A CPS spokesperson said: 'Our decision-making in this case, which took into account the views of the victim and the police, was based on an assessment of whether we had a realistic prospect of conviction in accordance with our legal test.

'The CPS takes antisemitism extremely seriously (Ed: *hollow laughter*) because of the devasting impact it has on victims and wider society.

'Where there is sufficient evidence and it is in the public interest, we will prosecute these cases.'

No, you'll just look for the fruit that's not even low-hanging, but has already fallen off the tree... 

Why So Apologetic?

Police were called to Morley Street in the town following reports of a dog on the loose.

When officers arrived at about 9.30pm on Friday, they found that the dog had bitten two people and was ' acting in an aggressive manner'.

Rochdale again..? That place is a sewer. Oh, well, I suppose it's a long spell in an expensive kenn..

Oh! 

The dog was destroyed due to concerns about the number of people in the area and the injuries caused.

That's the sort of police action we need more of! 

In a statement, a spokesperson for Greater Manchester Police said: "At around 9.30pm last night (Friday 6 August), police were called to reports of a dog loose on Morley Street, Rochdale.

"Officers attended and found that two members of the public had been bitten by the dog who was acting in an aggressive manner.

"Unfortunately, due to the nature of the incident, the dog was humanely destroyed as a safety precaution due to the number of people in the area and the injuries caused.

"Enquiries are ongoing. No serious injuries were reported."

Why so apologetic? Is it because of idiots like this one? 

Because if so, don't bother. You can't appease them and you shouldn't even try... 

H/T: JohnM via email

Breakfast In The 'DevonLive' Canteen Must Be...Interesting!

Especially if you order poached eggs and get these fried ones!

H/T: IanJ via email

Not Very Secret, Are They?

Which brings to mind this:

H/T: Dave Ward via email

Sunday Funnies...

Plus ça change, plus c'est la même chose...

Finally, I'm On Trend!

Home bartenders have turned to Mexico’s national spirit more than ever before, with UK sales rising 94 per cent in the past two years, according to the Wine & Spirit Trade Association.

I adore tequila! 

Distilled from the Mexican agave plant, it is now considered delightfully drinkable if you get the right brand — so much so that the cool crowd actually sip theirs, either neat or simply over ice in a tumbler. And a host of celebrity stakeholders, from George Clooney and Justin ­Timberlake to model Kendall Jenner, extol tequila’s virtues.

The spirit’s low-calorie credentials have helped it appeal to younger, more health-conscious drinkers.

Is this a crowd I want to be part of, though? Hmmm.... 

Darwin And The Law Of Gravity Is All That Stand Between Us...

...and a crime wave:

A schoolboy plunged to his death from a fairground ride after he and five friends are said to have broken into travelling fun fair before it opened this morning.

Locals said they had heard a group of around six youngsters had climbed over fencing on the perimeter to get into the fair in Dover, Kent.

Emergency crews were called to Family Funfair in a park in Dover, Kent around 7.45am.

The obligatory chavshrine and revelation of a double-barrelled surname weren't long in revelation.... 

Catherine Dennison, 75, a retired P&O ferry worker who lives close to the park said she heard an 'unusual' number of sirens this morning.

Catherine, who had worked on the ferries as an interpreter added: 'It's so awful. I feel so sorry for his mother, and his father, and his friends who saw it.'

I feel sorry for the owners of the funfair who will now face an investigation into site security, and the emergency services having to deal with the consequences, myself. 

I Really Don't Think You Understand The Term 'Risk', Susan...

Plans to continue livestreaming council meetings have sparked fears of...

Broadcast interruptions? Internet price rises? Unflattering images? 

...Mickey Mouse-themed TikTok parodies.

*blinks* 

What sort of idiot worries ab...

Oh. Of course. 

At a full council meeting on Wednesday all councillors agreed on the theory of livestreaming meetings but Cllr Susan Beer (Lab) suggested a delay to leaving meetings on record.

She claimed members of the council didn't fully understand the proposal and further training should be carried out.

I think it's actually you who doesn't understand the proposal, Susan. And I'm not sure training will help you much... 

But after Conservative councillors admitted they were "speechless" by her opposition to the plans, Cllr Beer said she had been misinterpreted or misunderstood by her counterparts.

Ummm, I'm going to say 'Nope!'... 

She said: “What I’m suggesting is the implications of us being broadcast, the things that could happen haven’t been mentioned.

“For example, if our esteemed chairman suddenly turned up in a TikTok video doing silly dances and singing funny songs, what would we do?"

Oh noes! Mocking videos! It's the end of the world! 

“One of my big concerns is that if somebody revoices me as Mickey Mouse, I will deal with that, but if they revoice me and turn me into an extreme racist person, I would be very upset."

They could turn you into an extreme moron instead, but I fear that would only be a waste of electrons... 

“I’m talking about risk to our reputation as a council, not just councillors, we’re already at risk but nevertheless has anyone sat down with anyone here to talk about more than just how to push buttons.

“Has anyone thought of that, because those are the risks I’m talking about."

*shrugs* Frankly, you're doing a great job of that already, before the streaming even starts, Susan... 

What A Time To Be Alive!

Who could ever, in their wildest dreams, imagine they would see a headline like this?

An inspector warned officers they could face disciplinary action if they stripped at the event at Heaven nightclub in Charing Cross while off duty.

The Times reported that the senior officer warned in an email sent to the West End policing unit: ‘It makes it awkward for the staff at the location to then have to deal with you when you are next on shift attending the venue to carry out official duties.’

The inspector added that ‘CCTV would be viewed and officers spoken to’ if they continued to take part in the event.

What sort of people are they recruiting that this needs to be spelled out to them? 

I'm Finding It Difficult To Contain Myself Too...

Another day, another failure of protective options, another innocent victim:

The legal process, in the form of a legal gateway meeting, began the following day and Ms Ferguson visited the flat at around 3pm to explain options for a residential placement for the family, or for Hurrell and the baby to go in without Saint George. The court heard that Saint George swore at the social worker and refused to co-operate, having earlier blamed Lily-Mai in a text message for not letting her sleep.

'She was unable to contain herself in front of a social worker who was there to judge her competence as a mother, and you may have no doubt that she was unable to contain herself a few hours later,' said the prosecutor.

And yet clearly, our esteemed justice service has more than just doubts: 

Mr Justice Spencer found Hurrell had no case to answer for charges of murder and manslaughter and threw out a charge of causing or allowing the death of a child against both parents.

A jury at the Old Bailey deliberated for more than 11 hours to find Saint George, of Enfield in north London, not guilty of murder and manslaughter. However, she was found guilty of a charge of infanticide by a majority of 10 to one.

Ugh! It beggars belief, doesn't it? But there's worse to come... 

He told the weeping mother: 'I am ordering there to be a report from the probation service in your regard mainly for the purpose of ascertaining whether there is some assistance they can give you in rebuilding your life after this trial and after everything has happened.

'It is quite clear to me that you were depressed, still suffering from the effects of the birth of Lily-Mai at the time you committed the act which caused her death.

'The verdict of infanticide is one which traditionally has invoked sympathy rather than punishment. He told her that she has 'suffered and continued to suffer' and therefore he has decided against sending her to prison.

'The sentence will be a suspended sentence.'

It's a wonder he didn't raid the poor box to fund her a taxi home, isn't it?  

No, She's Not The Victim, Judge...

Judge Medland accepted she was vulnerable following the death of her husband and was suffering from active alcoholism when she committed the offences.

*sighs* When are we going to start considering drug and alcohol abuse as aggravating factors?

Rosalind Emslie-Smith, defending, said at the time of the offending, Faragher was struggling following the death of her husband.

She was drinking a bottle of vodka or more a day.

Faragher has never explained her motivation for committing the offences but has started to access counselling and is now "calmer, less anxious and sober", Ms Emslie-Smith said.

Should there be other questions asked about this bizarre story? 

Elizabeth Faragher, 43, was trusted to give the child - who cannot be named for legal reasons - medication for a condition they had been diagnosed with then they were young.

But, Faragher, from Barrow, deliberately soiled the needles before using them on numerous occasions in 2016 and 2017.

As a result of her cruelty, the youngster had "almost constant" admissions to hospital, where doctors carried out invasive tests, biopsies and operations to try and understand the condition.

The child has now been left with deep muscle scars and had to have corrective knee surgery, Preston Crown Court was told.

Such as, why was this alcoholic Munchausen's patient ever in a position to have charge of a child's welfare? 

Rewatchable TV August: The X Files

Oh, boy, when they say some series should stop rather than drag on, a picture of this one always comes to mind. Yet when it started out, it was an utter phenomenon, and I can remember tuning in to every episode with anticipation. As a lifelong reader of 'Fortean Times' it was always a pleasant suprise when the 'monster of the week' was a familiar myth.

And I still do enjoy the first five or so seasons and watch them again and again. The titles, the stunning music, they all bring back memories:

We just don't talk about how it all ended. Or started up again (briefly) in what must be the most disastrous decision ever taken in tvland!

How Can You Be Asked To Co-operate With Child Abuse?

A new guideline from the Royal College of Obestricians and Gynaecologists proposes overhauls of cancer screening, childbirth, and fertility treatments to make them more inclusive for transgender and non-binary patients.

It says that trans men should be asked about their preferred manner of feeding before their baby is born and those who chose to chest feed should be offered 'chest-feeding support in the same manner as for cis-women'.

Any 'trans man' - and if it can give birth, it's a woman and always will be - that treats a new-norn child like this is, in my eyes, guilty of child abuse for their own sick desire. 

And any gynaecologist abetting it should be considered the same way.   

It also says trans women should be put on female wards - even if they retain their male sex organs, and warns that misgendering ‘may cause profound offence.’

We already know, of course, what this policy may cause! Perhaps those who permit it should join the sire in stumping up child support for the result?

RCOG president Dr Edward Morris said: 'This is an important guideline which aims to improve the care and experiences of transgender and gender diverse individuals accessing obstetric and gynaecological services.

‘Sadly, trans and gender diverse individuals say they often feel judged and misunderstood by the health service.'

Judging and misunderstanding is what the health 'service' does best, after all. Why should this tiny fraction of the population miss out on the fun?

‘We welcome feedback on this draft to ensure the guideline is the best as it can be for clinicians and the trans and gender diverse individuals who use our services.'

Do you? Or will you simply ignore anyone attempting to correct the flaws in your thinking, like you always do? 

So Why Are They..?

BTP Detective Constable Chris Pretty said the “despicable” robberies were “a petrifying experience for all the victims”, saying Ulysses and accomplice Jamal Wilson, 21, “aren’t fit to be in our community”.

I completely agree. But it seems the criminal justice system doesn't feel they are fit to be caged like the animals they are, either... 

Charges were brought over the spate of knife-point train muggings in August 2021 when Ulysses was already in custody await trial for the fatal stabbing.

Appearing at Inner London crown court last week, he was handed a further jail term of eight years for the robberies.

I note that it's not stated that it'll run consecutively... 

Better Luck Next Time, Race Baiters...

I must say, I'm enjoying all the winning going on lately:

A female rugby player was today cleared of racially abusing and hitting a friend when they fell out over taking the knee in support of the Black Lives Matter movement.

Whoops! Oh dear, another loss for the racebaiters in the CPS. Though of course, the process is the punishment. 

Isn't it? 

Edward Mitchard, defending, told the court: 'It was a common assault and the injuries were mercifully small.

'Miss King used reasonable force based on the perceived threat she was under at the time.'

Before retiring the jury heard testimonials to King's character including the fact she was captain of an international team containing players twice her age. She was appointed captain 'in the full knowledge' that there were legal proceedings pending against her.

Heh! That's telling, isn't it? 

Be More Denmark...

Rishi Sunak, who is battling with Liz Truss to win the backing of the Conservative grassroots in his attempt to replace Boris Johnson, has announced plans for an annual cap on the number of refugees the UK accepts.

*yawns* Why should we believe you? Why hasn't such a cap been implemented already?

Meanwhile, other countries have woken up: 

Denmark is to start demolishing parts of migrant ghettos and moving people elsewhere in a bid to put an end to ‘parallel societies’ that have led to high crime and social dislocation. The areas targeted by the policy are specifically where there are demographic concentrations of people with non-western backgrounds who are more prone to criminality and joblessness.

Too little, too late? Maybe. But they aren't stopping there: 

Citizens from outside the EU, EEA or Switzerland will also be denied municipal housing support as will those with a criminal record.

Maybe the Tories could look to Denmark rather than the US for ideas, for a change? 

H/T: IanJ via email

Well, Of Course He Was...

The court heard that Gill, from Doncaster, was on bail at the time of the killing, having punched two police officers outside a bar in Sheffield five days earlier.

I mean, what do you have to do these days to get put behind bars, where you belong? 

The prosecutor, Sarah Knight, told the court that Robinson was on foot crossing a road in Chilwell, Nottingham, when a witnesses saw Gill leave his vehicle and use both hands to push Robinson hard in the chest, causing him to fall backwards.

Afterwards, Gill stole a bottle of vodka from a nearby supermarket and returned to the training course, where he was asked to leave for being “angry and disruptive”. He was next seen in the Toton area of Nottinghamshire, where he threw a bottle out of his car window, smashing it against a wall.

After a female driver asked him to pick up his litter, the court was told Gill responded: “I know littering is wrong but so is arson and I am more than happy to set fire to your car.”

A 68-year-old man, who also remonstrated with Gill, was then dragged out of his car and repeatedly punched in the face.

And he presumably has no excuse for his ac...

Oh. Silly me.  

Judge Rafferty told Gill: “I hope that, like the rest of us listening to this, you are appalled by the person that you were. Through your own abuse of alcohol and drugs you had turned yourself into a menace.”

Noting that one of Gill’s fingers was cut off to “enforce” a drug debt nine months before Robinson’s death, the judge added: “Even that did not stop you from drinking and taking drugs.”

So will you impose the sort of sentence that ensures the safety of everyone in the future? 

Gill must serve two-thirds of his sentence in custody, and was banned from driving for a period of five years after his eventual release.

Didn't think the answer was going to be 'Yes', somehow... 

Of Course, Zoe! The People Who Always Win...

...the lawyers, of course! 

...the fascination with a bitch fight is rooted in garden variety sexism, a bid to infantilise women, erode their credibility and minimise their emotional range while amplifying their histrionics.

Oh, I forgot - the obsessives who see everything through the prism of their own hobby horse have a lot of success too.

Hey, Germany..!

 ...your girls took a hell of a beating! 

Congrats to the Lionesses, who showed the boys how it's done last night. It's rare I watch football, but that was a great match.