Wednesday 3 July 2013

So….That Proposed New Dangerous Dogs Legislation…

It will be quite a minefield, especially the private property clause:
Officers had been called to Oldbury, West Mids, after they received reports of four men stealing copper wire at a nearby train station, on Sunday afternoon.
But as the men fled the scene, officers gave chase, and one dog and handler entered a private garden - before the dog attacked the young boy.
Expect the police to demand that they – and their dogs – be exempted from this in the fine print.

Strangely, the police aren't falling all over themselves to remedy this faux pas, either:
Mr Cutbill, who works as a warehouse manger, added: “We have not really had much contact with the police yet and will be speaking to them tomorrow.”
I’d let my lawyer speak for me, if I were you…
West Midlands Police have launched an investigation into the incident - although the dog and handler are both continuing to work while it is ongoing.
Which is somewhat different from the usual ‘desk duty until it’s sorted out’ message, isn't it?

Meanwhile:
Armed police chased a member of a suspected drugs gang through gardens after a car crash, a court heard.
And if they’d encountered a dog in one of those gardens and been savaged, I'm sure they’d have responded as so many US cops have done in similar circumstances. And would have shrugged their shoulders over the demands for recompense from the aggrieved pet owner. Yet it’s OK for their dogs to enter your garden and savage you?

And, just to recap further – it’s proposed that you and your dog should know the difference between an intruder and a child collecting his stray ball, but no such restrictions apply to the police or their dogs?

7 comments:

Joe Public said...

"Meanwhile:

Armed police chased a member of a suspected drugs gang through gardens after a car crash, a court heard.

And if they’d encountered a dog in one of those gardens and been savaged ........."

I suppose it's slightly better than a 50/50 chance that the mutt bites the criminal first.

MTG said...

Neither dog in the video had difficulty interpreting the body language - but a version in plod vernacular may assist uninformed uniformed readers, Julia.

First armed tubby: "This is my best effort to conceal general cowardice and chronic cynophobia."

Second armed tubby: "Does this gun make me look butch?"

First armed tubby: "Only when you get it out, dear."

Second armed tubby: "Take that you mangy hounds for scaring officer Adrian."

First armed tubby: "What the...you nearly got one into me, you mad, mad dyke!"
Second armed tubby: "That'll be the day, Adrian. But I think a lucky round hit the big mutt, so you can come back now."
First armed tubby: "Get her!"
Second armed tubby: "Quit worrying and open the gate, yer big gay. I smell commendations if you can keep a 'straight' face."

Anonymous said...

Oh dear, Melvin is back after his period of voluntary respite in the Huddersfield Mental Health Unit. Great to see you back, as bonkers and bitter as ever!

Anonymous said...

Absolutely hilarious Melvin,how long did the nurse give you the laptop for you to invent that little sketch?
Jaded
PS look up a Vincent Allen from Doncaster which is not a million miles from you,were you separated at birth?

MTG said...

@ WC Jaded.

I am so glad you enjoyed the 'little sketch'. So did l.

Production of the situation dialogue took hours...but hey, I spat out the pills and was obliged to amuse myself during another long camisole confinement.


Leg-iron said...

Warning labels on dogs.

And plain packaging.

That would make them... wolves.

JuliaM said...

"I suppose it's slightly better than a 50/50 chance that the mutt bites the criminal first."

He should be well ahead of the pursuers...

"That would make them... wolves."

:D