Allow Me To Translate…

One of Britain's largest Islamic groups has said a "dramatic escalation in violence" against British Muslims needs a much tougher response from the government.

Farooq Murad, secretary general of the Muslim Council of Britain (MCB), said the bombings of three Midlands mosques marked "the crossing of a red line".

This demand drew approving nods even from normally sound people:

Despite querying just what 'tougher action' was required, no answers were forthcoming.

So let's look at what the MCB actually said, shall we, to see if we can glean what it is they want:

"The community has patiently borne the brunt of these attacks despite condemning in the strongest possible terms the tragic murder of Fusilier Lee Rigby," Murad said.

"Despite this spike in incidences, there has yet to be a co-ordinated national effort to ensure that these sorts of attacks never happen again. It cannot be right that a minority community is allowed to be targeted in this manner."

He added: "There is an urgent need for the government and police to respond with a co-ordinated national strategy so as to prevent further attacks."

Ah. Right. I see what it is they want. Let me translate:

"Listen to us! We're victims! Always, and forever, victims. You must do as we say, listen to us, we know what muslims want, we represent them, all of them, so invite us to all those meetings and summits you hold so we can eat all the free food (it is halal, right? it better be!), make contact with all our willing stooges in the various civil service departments, get up on our hind legs and yap endlessly about how you are all racist bastards and have to make amends for this.

Now, where do I send my travel and expenses claim? And who validates my parking stub, kaffir?"

So no, I am going to disagree with the normally spot-on Mr Eugenides here. They should be told to take a long walk off a short pier.