Tweet Of The Month

We have a two-way tie this month:

Post Title Of The Month

May the Force be with Tim Newman for his holiday advice to single women...

Quote Of The Month

Mark Wadsworth lays into Sadiq Khan and the hapless Tory Housing Secretary:

“London is in the middle of a desperate housing crisis that has been generations in the making,” Khan said. “I am doing everything in my power to tackle it – including building record numbers of new social homes – but I have long been frustrated by my lack of powers to help private renters.”

That is a straight lie. New construction is even lower under Sadiq than under Johnson, and in such pitiful amounts that it can't possibly have any impact on anything.

The Tories could have scored a few open goals, but decide to make themselves look stupid by playing the Missing Homes Conundrum instead:

The housing secretary, James Brokenshire, has argued that the controls would lead to poorer housing standards with landlords unable to afford to maintain properties and could also have a dramatic effect on housing supply, with landlords choosing to sell up rather than have their rental income reduced.

Post Of The Month

Al Jahom has a shiny new-look blog, and a scathing attack on the arrest of the 'Yellow Vest' protestor.

When You're Desperate For Diversity...

When PC Kasra Rafeian applied to join Essex Police in April 2017 he included a reference purporting to be from his previous employer...

Well, what's so strange about th...

...the French Foreign Legion.

Oh.

However it was alleged this reference was untruthful...

Imagine my shocked face!

He was also accused of lying in an interview about his application and when asked to provide handwriting samples as part of the investigation the panel found he had made an attempt to disguise his normal handwriting and frustrate that investigation.

A misconduct hearing was held at Chelmsford Civic Centre between from Tuesday to Thursday with a panel led by Independent Legally Qualified chair Neil Dalton.

The panel found all the allegations against PC Rafeian were proven and that he had breached standards of behaviour in relation to ‘honesty and integrity’ and ‘discreditable conduct’.

He was found guilty of gross misconduct and has been dismissed with immediate effect.

Well, he can still do his bit, I guess.

What A Load Of Bollards!

People who illegally park on their own properties without a dropped kerb are being targeted by Merton Council.

Oh...?

So far, the council’s enforcement officers have put up bollards on the pavement in front of 15 properties across the borough, blocking access for residents who have been illegally mounting the kerb and driving across the pavement to park on the hardstanding in front of their homes.

Hmmm....

Merton Council’s cabinet member for regeneration, housing and transport, Martin Whelton, said: “Not only are cars manoeuvring across pavements dangerous for walkers, overhanging vehicles can block the pavement for wheelchair users and parents with pushchairs.”

But....aren't your bollards doing that?

Mark This Name Well...

Judge Maria Lamb, sentencing Welsby to eight years in prison with an extended licence period of five years, said: "You told the probation officer on January 15 that you were 'angry at the world' and stabbed the 'first person you saw'."

She said she believed he had, in fact, waited in a secluded spot for 'prey' – someone vulnerable and alone. She added: "It is a chilling feature that you have behaved throughout the incident with a sophistication and calculation which belies your years."

She pointed to the fact the weapon had never been recovered nor his clothes from the day, and that GPS on his phone had been either turned off or deleted.

She also referenced psychiatric reports that mentioned he experienced 'intrusive thoughts' about 'physical and sexual violence' towards himself and others.

...you'll be seeing him again in about 5 years time. Probably when he's killed someone after early release.

How Did We Ever Win Two World Wars?

A Noise Patrol service was shut down because...

It was successful, and received no more complaints?

...council officers were chased out of buildings.

Wait, what?

The team, who were tasked with dealing with noisy neighbours over weekends, had run the service for more than 20 years.

But it was shut down last year over concerns on (sic) the safety of the staff.

A Brighton and Hove City Council report said: “There had been occasions when behaviour towards Noise Patrol officers has been inappropriate, including incidents where officers have been chased from a building.”

The council said it had been replaced by field officers who are “working to a 24-hour response rate” and following up complaints the next day.

When there's no-one around to chase them? Outstanding tactics!

James Bond Could Tell You A Few Tales, Lynne...

Lynne Clucas, 62, had returned home to Northwood Place after a hospital appointment when walking up her driveway she saw her front door was swinging wide open, with glass scattered on the outside pavement.

She said: "I was walking up the path thinking that we may have been broken into.

"There was glass all over the place and the door was kicked in. I was absolutely astounded."

She soon discovered her home, which she shares with her mentally-ill brother, had become the subject of a thorough police raid.

When she went inside an officer told her police had received intelligence that her address was allegedly once used by a drug dealer in their custody.

Oh dear. Well, it happens.

"I said to him, 'there’s no intelligence, that’s not the word'.

"I had come back in a wheelchair. I find it funny that somebody in a wheelchair and 5ft 2 is apparently some big bad criminal," she said.

Really?

Hmmm...

If It Wasn't For Double Standards...

...yeah, you all know the rest.

A group of angry mums have launched a protest and petition against their school for introducing a curriculum supporting homosexuality.

Oh boy! Disagreeing with the liberal agenda? You're in trouble now, ladies! Expect a call from the Thought Police!

Oh, wait...

...outraged mum Fatima Shah, who has taken her 10-year-old daughter out of the school, told BirminghamLive: "It's inappropriate, totally wrong.

"Children are being told it's OK to be gay yet 98 per cent of children at this school are Muslim. It's a Muslim community.

"I've taken my daughter out and other parents have too. Enough is enough.

"Sex relationship education is being taught without our consent. We've not been informed about what's being taught.

"Mr Moffat is running what's called CHIPS - challenging homophobia in primary schools - and it's totally against Islamic beliefs.

"My child came home and told me am I OK to be a boy? It's confusing children about sexuality.

"I want my child to learn about English, maths and science.

"I'm keeping my daughter away from the school until something is done. I've been paying £20-an-hour tuition at home instead."

Bit of a dilemma for the boys in blue, this one, eh?

H/T: MelindiScott via Twitter

Good Grief, Woman, You Were Christening A Daughter...

...not building a Jaeger!

Tara Tanham says she was on her way to pick up her daughter, Gypsy-Angel, from after-school club at St Catherine’s Academy last Thursday when she received a call from a teacher to tell here the girl had “absconded”.

But all's well that ends well, even for kids with egregious chavnames:

Gypsy-Angel was found safe shortly afterwards at a park in Waggon Road, but Ms Tanham says the situation left her feeling “physically sick” and has criticised the school for not calling the police and advising her to call 101 after a search.

But how did she come to 'abscond'? Come to think of it, isn't that a rather odd choice of words?

“They’ve tried to put it down to her behaviour but that’s just not right,” she said.

“Her behaviour sometimes can be out of control but even if she was kicking off with them, it’s not acceptable that they have allowed a six-year-old child to leave school.”

Ah. That gives us a bit more information about this situation than Tara might perhaps realise, doesn't it?

"Yes Sir, Would You Like A Grocer's Apostrophe With Those?"

A new shop opened up in Southend High Street just after Christmas. I really hope their cooking is better than their signwriting...

"Daily Mail Screw-Ups, Sir! Thousands Of Them!"

A remarkable collection of Zulu artefacts including shields and weapons used at Rorke's Drift are set to go under the hammer for £50,000.

Err....

Sunday Funnies...

These would definitely have made my school history lessons more fun!

"Stop Doing It, Or....I'll Tell You To Stop Doing It Again."

Keith Holloway of Worcester thrust his exposed genitals against the girl, filmed under the skirts of young women and offered a girl of eight an ice pop, telling her she was 'beautiful' and inviting her to use his new shower.

But the 65-year-old was not sent to jail by Judge Nicholas Cole at Worcester Crown Court because the most recent breach of his sexual harm prevention order was deemed too 'minor' and because his defence barrister argued that prison would be 'crushing'.

Wait, 'most recent'...?

It is the fourth time Holloway has breached the same order since it was imposed in September 15, 2017.

FFS!

Holloway, who walked with a stick, lowered his head in the dock, covered his face with his hands and at one stage dabbed his eyes with a tissue.

Probably tears of mirth at how easy it is to pull the wool over everyone's eyes...

Jamie Scott, defending, said his client had provided medical evidence that he had been discharged from hospital after a fall, had heart palpitations, suffered from low potassium levels and was on 17 different forms of medication.

They seem to have missed out bromide. Obviously an oversight at the chemist...

The judge bases his decision on the grounds they are 'minor' breaches, something Fahrenheit211 rightly takes issue with. They show a clear pattern.

Judge Cole said Holloway had 'a history of disobedience to court orders' but this latest breach was 'minor' and that, because of the defendant's health issues, it would be 'unjust' to activate the suspended sentence.

It appears you know nothing of what constitutes 'injustice'. Hardly surprising.

H/T: ConstableChaos via Twitter

The Legal Aid Gravy Train Just Derailed...

The mother of one of four suspected Islamic State fighters has lost a legal challenge against the UK's sharing of evidence with the US without seeking assurances he would not be executed.

Ms Elgizouli's lawyers argued that the UK's long-standing opposition to the death penalty was therefore cast aside in the interests of political expediency. But today's judgement underlines that no law has been broken.

Mr Elsheikh is not British - nor is he under UK control - so the obligations on ministers to act on his mother's concerns are limited.

Never mind, love, I don't doubt you've soaked the British taxpayer for all this. World-class left-wing lawyers don't work for peanuts, after all...

Gareth Peirce, of Birnberg Peirce Solicitors, (Ed: Aha!) said that while Ms Elgizouli thinks her son should be prosecuted, she argues that it should take place within accordance of international human rights standards.

Nope, they only apply to humans.

No, Actually, That's On You....

An enormous drug gang member described in court as a 'jolly big man' was jailed alongside his wife and four other accomplices after they were caught with a gun and £3m-worth of cocaine.

Jennifer O'Neill, was jailed alongside her husband Sam. They have five children. The court heard Jennifer has told her husband that their marriage of 13 years is over, and she has taken off her wedding ring.

"You've f****** ruined my life you p****," Sam O'Neill told a police officer in court as he was led away.

Don't think so, big fella. Enjoy prison!

H/T: ConstableChaos via Twitter

Ah, The 'Sheik Al Hilali Defence'....

In mitigation his defence barrister Jayne Wilkinson said that her client, who is homeless, was living in the St Clement's area of Oxford at the time and had a 'legitimate' reason for going inside the sports centre, but that the temptation to steal was too great.

She said: "It is where he can use the washing and the facilities. He is seen to walk in to the sports centre and responsible people have left their bags lying where seating area is.

"This is no criticism of those people but I am sure there are lockers available. Mr Lennon says he goes there and the temptation to pick up one of the bags was too great.

"Then he is back on November 27 and it is exactly the same."

Hmmm, seems like a familiar argument, somehow.

Urging the court to consider another non-custodial option Ms Wilkinson said: "It is right that Mr Lennon has a long history of drug use, it is right that he has a long history of associated offences of dishonesty.

"What is also right is that for the relatively recent past Mr Lennon has been dealt with by way of custodial sentences. When people go into custody for a relatively short period of time there is no therapeutic [programmes] at all.

"There is work that can be done, that the probation service were happy to do with Mr Lennon before these new offences."

Of course they are, it's repeat business keeping them in a job. The people whose belongings he steals? Well, they are only taxpayers...

Despite her pleas presiding magistrate Anne Pappenheim said that in light of the breach of the previous orders a jail term had to be imposed.

It won't do much good. But at least while he's off the streets, he's not stealing.

Awkward...

British far-Right extremists are broadcasting vile racist programmes on a sickening neo- Nazi radio station – but Government regulators are powerless to shut it down.

Oh noes! What are they saying?

...two years after the station was founded it was still broadcasting its sickening material last night – including disgusting claims that black people 'prefer witchdoctors' over hiring lawyers ...

Hmmmm. One wonders why the 'Mail' finds that so disgusting:

A woman tried to cast black magic spells on police and doctors after carrying out genital mutilation on her three-year-old daughter, a court heard.

The little girl's Ugandan mother, 37, and Ghanaian father, 43, allegedly enlisted a 'witch' to help them carry out the surgery at a filthy flat in east London.

Oops!

I'm Sensing A Pattern Emerging...

"What's a hate crime, sarge...?"

"It's defined in law, it's acts of violence or hostility directed at people because of who they are or who someone thinks they are."

"So this attack on people outside a gay nightclub was one...?"

"Err..."

Scotland Yard are not currently treating the incident as a homophobic attack.

Detective Sergeant Quinn Cutler said: “This is a particularly vicious and unpleasant incident which has left a number of people with potentially lasting injuries.

“I know that a number of people witnessed this incident and I urge those people to come forward and share their information and/or footage with police.”

Gosh. It's almost as though the police get to decide, not the victim, after all...

But, luckily, in the UK it's the jury that has the final say.

Don't Blame The Tool....

Sure it did. In the same way Land Rover & Kia are to blame for the Duke of Edinburgh's traffic accident.

Speaking publicly about her death for the first time, Mr Russell said last night: 'I have no doubt that Instagram helped kill my daughter. She had so much to offer and that's gone.'

His criticism of the photo-sharing site, which is owned by Facebook, comes after experts warned Instagram helped to glorify self-harm among vulnerable youngsters.

Last night hundreds of thousands of images depicting people harming themselves and discussing suicide could be viewed on the site, which is hugely popular among teenagers.

And if it wasn't that site, it'd be another.

Instagram's guidelines say posts should not 'glorify self-injury' while searches using suspect words, such as 'self-harm', are met with a warning. But users are easily able to view the pictures by ignoring the offers of help.

People have free will. The alternative is unthinkable.

Instagram said: 'Our thoughts go out to Molly's family and anyone dealing with the issues raised. We do not allow content that promotes or glorifies eating disorders, self-harm or suicide and work hard to remove it.

'However, for many young people, discussing their mental health journey or connecting with others who have battled similar issues, is an important part of their recovery.

'This is why we don't remove certain content and instead offer people looking at, or posting it, support when they might need it most.'

And they are as free to reject that help as to accept it. I can see why Mr Russell doesn't think that's a price worth paying. But that doesn't mean his opinion should overrule everyone else's.

"No, No, It's OK When I Do It!" Part 2837891

*munches popcorn* 

Hey, Hasan, need a little help from your friends?

Yeah. That Kate Osamor. I may just run out of popcorn here!

H/T: RealBlackIrish via Twitter

You Need A Dictionary, Love...

A woman with severe disabilities is being told she no longer meets the criteria to keep her electric wheelchair.

Hove resident Belinda Formosa received the shock news in a letter from the Sussex Community NHS Foundation Trust which said that, following a review of her medical history, she is no longer eligible for the vehicle.

It's a miracle! Or, more likely, her previous assessments erred on the generous side.

The letter said that “in our consultant’s opinion based on the medical evidence they have available, it should be possible for you to both walk and self-propel a manual chair”.

But despite news that anyone else would be thrilled to hear (Good news, you're not as disabled as you thought!), Belinda is not happy:

But Belinda said that because of several medical conditions, including spinal stenosis, cirrhosis of the liver, a pancreatic divisum, Dupuytren’s disease and Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease (COPD), she would be unable to do so.

She said: “I don’t like using the word disabled, I prefer to use the word adaptable instead.”

You don't seem to be adapting very well, though, do you?

Yeah, Sure, You Keep On Doing This....

Sgt Scott Fitzmaurice said: “We will not tolerate anybody - regardless of whether they are subject of a court order - dealing drugs in our area.

“Operation Raptor will continue to target all those individuals, including members of the C17 gang, intent on committing drug or gang related crime in our county.”

And the 'justice system' will keep on doing what they do best:

He admitted the charges at Basildon Crown Court on Monday January 7 where he was given a six-month jail term suspended for 12-months and was ordered to carry out 100 hours of unpaid work.

What a total waste of time....

Expecting Networks To Give Up Ratings Is Like Expecting Alcoholics To Give Up Booze...

Emily Bell thinks that the US TV networks should have refused to air a speech by The Donald:

The inability of 11 separate network heads to say “no” to Trump caused frustration on a number of levels. It was yet another sign, said some commentators, of the networks not “getting it”, following the normal rules of engagement with a presidency that is abnormal to the point of dysfunction.

Because having a President that screwed the help in the Oval Office wasn't at all 'dysfunctional'..?

Allowing a president noted for his untruthfulness access to their networks arguably put protocol above national interest, or perhaps, more honestly, prioritised ratings over principle.

Funny. I've visited the States, and every TV I saw there had an 'off' switch.

It was ten years ago, though. Perhaps things have changed?

The speech and an accompanying rebuttal by Democrat leaders Nancy Pelosi and Chuck Schumer were seen by more than 43 million viewers. Trump remains strong box office.

Hard to see why the networks aren't listening to the likes of you, isn't it?

I Guess Now We Find Out If He's Any Good....

Burrell, of Eastcote Grove, Southend had been working as a private sector housing manager for Southend Council.

He diverted taxpayers’ money to developers but insisted his only motivation was to try and get people off the housing waiting list.

On Friday Basildon Crown Court heard he had a breakdown after becoming overwhelmed by Southend’s housing crisis and decided to cut corners.

Another sterling effort by the council to safeguard public money!

Homonym Alert!

/facepalm

H/T: Stephen Brown via email

"So, This Signwriting Company, They're Legit, Right?"

"Errr, yeah, dad, 'course they are..."

Sunday Funnies...

If it ain't, you ain't doing science right!

Make Up Your Minds Pt 4927814

'The Guardian': Moving people out of their home areas is wicked!

...when she received a letter from Newham council in 2010 advising that the whole estate was going to be decanted for “refurbishment”, it came as a surprise.

Her fears were quelled when the council confirmed that once the refurbishment was over, residents who wanted to return would be more than welcome to do so (subject to availability). But seven years on, Joyce has not returned...

Also 'The Guardian': Moving people back to their home areas is wicked!

"Councils have given thousands of rough sleepers and homeless people one-way train, bus and flight tickets to leave areas and sometimes even to leave the country in the last four years, a Guardian investigation can reveal.

The tickets were bought through “reconnection policies” that aim to encourage rough sleepers to voluntarily return to areas where they have family and support networks. It has been described as “street cleansing” and an abdication of responsibility by some campaigners and MPs."

Is it me, or...?

Remind Me Again, What Was The Point Of Amending The DDA?

Police have been informed. However, such incidents are usually left to dog wardens.

That's because the lazy bastards need to be held accountable for doing their job. Essex Police have form, yes, but they are far from the only police farce failing in this regard.

Despite the fact they whine about not having the necessary laws to excuse their lack of action, when they are given them (despite not actually needing them), they fail to act again.

"I'd seen three teenage girls with a massive pitbull in St Michael's Road that day," he said.

"It was tall and white and had pointed ears, as if they'd been trimmed.

"I'd actually said, 'There's no way they should be out with that, they can't control it.' You could see it pulling on the lead.

"When my daughter went out with Teddy, the girls were with the dog some way ahead. When it spotted Teddy it just went for him and they couldn't control it."

You'd think the police would look to their own welfare in such issues, wouldn't you?

"My daughter has put out some information on social media, and we've had a big response from that," Mr Woodcock said.

"Lots of people say the owner has a couple of pitbulls and is often seen outside the little shop near here. "

At the moment though, it seems like there's nothing we can do about these dogs."

It's not for you to 'do anything'. We pay people to do that for us. Yet we seemingly have no recourse when they fail to do it.

They Keep Inventing New 'Mental Health Conditions', Damn It!

Kate Bisset, mitigating, said Chambers was sorry for what had happened and had kept her dog muzzled and on a lead since the incident.

Miss Bisset said Chambers had been diagnosed with a mental health condition which led to her being abusive when confronted by others after the incident.

I guess 'Being a typical benefit-scrounging aggressive chav dog owner' is listed in Campbell's Psychiatric Dictionary, now?

Judge Tom Bayliss, QC, said: "You knew the dog in the past had behaved aggressively towards other dogs and you allowed it to just get out of control and attack this woman."

Leading to the pensioner requiring a skin graft. So she'll get the book thrown at her?

Chambers was given a four-month prison sentence, suspended for two years, and ordered to take part in a 20-day rehabilitation programme.

She was also ordered to comply with an order requiring her to keep Bella muzzled and on a lead when out in public, or face having the animal put down.

An order requiring the destruction of the wrong aggressive bitch, then?

It's Not Just Him Who 'Lacks Responsibility', Is It, Judge?

Ayling should not have even been on the road as he had been banned from driving after racking up 12 penalty points, and had not reapplied for his licence.

He had previously been convicted of driving while disqualified in 1998, 2008, 2009 and 2012.

And the inevitable happened, sadly not to any magistrate or other criminal justice system apparatchik, but to an ordinary taxpayer and his wife.

Judge Christine Laing QC, sitting at Lewes Crown Court, told him he had “no sense of responsibility”.

Really? He's not alone in that, is he?

Judge Laing said the case showed the seriousness of drug driving and the impact it can have. She said: “Mrs Littler was a woman who had nothing but a wholly positive effect over many hundreds of people in her career as a teacher trainer and for groups in society she took part in.

“The impact of her death upon her family is immeasurable. You had drugs within your system, which takes away the driver’s ability to appreciate what they are doing. If you had been at an appropriate speed you would have been able to see them and adjust, they would have crossed the road and been beyond you.

“It beggars belief that you took your young son in that car, clearly drugs takes away your sense of responsibility.

“You caused Carol Littler’s death and caused terrible and long lasting injuries to Mr Littler as well.

“Your previous driving convictions show you have a complete disregard for driving laws.”

And the lack of meaningful enforcement of those laws shows....what? Answers on a postcard.

I'm Convinced....

Defence lawyer, Iain Hingston, said that the incident was “unfortunate and tragic” but argued for Sheriff Summers to let the animal live.

Mr Hingston said: “My client is gutted about what happened to this poor child, he has had the dog for four-and-a-half years since it was a puppy and it had previously played happily with the child and her family. 

“The dog can still be allowed to live if it is deemed not to be a danger to public safety.

“I concede that the injuries here are serious but the dog has never behaved like that before, the court should conclude that the dog’s past behaviour is demonstrably good.

“The dog is of good character and has regularly been out on walks with children of all ages without causing any problems whatsoever.

“I am not trying to sway the court in terms of heartstrings but the destruction of the dog would have a profound effect on my client and his family.”

....put the owner down. As well.

Because anyone that could put the life of an animal that has severely disfigured a 22 month old baby before public safety deserves not to be able to live in that society.

Sheriff Summers remained unmoved as he ordered the destruction of the American bulldog. He told Ritchie: “Owning an animal of that size carries a responsibility which you failed in.

“Your behaviour in leaving it unsupervised was grossly irresponsible, the child has been left horrifically injured and permanently disfigured.

“Her injuries are life-changing and will affect her every day for the rest of her life. “The consequences of your actions will reverberate beyond the present effect on her family.”

He added that the dog was “obviously” capable of lashing out and causing injury again and ordered that it be killed in the interests of public safety.

Sheriff Summers also ordered the accused to perform 180 hours of community service in the next year and banned him from keeping a dog for five years.

Should have been a lifetime ban. But it's nice to hear some stern words from the judge.

Am I Just Too Cynical?

A young mum has spoken of her horror after finding her beloved dog stabbed to death in her own kitchen.

Yorkshire Terrier cross Pippin was found lying in a pool of his own blood with stab wounds to his throat on Saturday evening. The savage killer broke into the home on Wilfred Street, Sunderland, and is believed to have fled the scene without stealing anything from the property.

How awful!

Mum-of-one Sophie left her home at about 12pm on Saturday and returned to feed her dogs just before 6pm.

Wait, 'dogs'..? Plural?

Calling out to her pets, alarm bells started ringing for the young mum when only Boxer Bull Mastiff cross Tia rushed to her feet.

Sophie stepped in to her kitchen to search for Pippin and discovered the 11-year-old's lifeless body.

Hmmm....

So the tiny harmless animal was stabbed to death by the 'burglar', but the much bigger, capable of defending the house, animal wasn't..?

...the grieving mum-of-one no longer feels safe in her own home and is desperate to move to protect her son and Tia.

She added: “I don't know any of my neighbours and don't have any bother with anyone.

“Tia is scared to go outside.

“I'm looking to move. The killer has been in my property and could do it again."

Strange priorities.

Northumbria Police confirmed an investigation into Pippin's stabbing is under way.

One to watch!

But It's Not 'Unbelievable', Sadly....

"A group of horses and riders were out on the mudflats. The boxer started chasing them. Eventually the horses stopped because the boxer wasn't giving up and it then started trying to go for the horses. A young girl on her horse then fell off when attacked by the dog. Meanwhile the owner is just walking along the beach, not even running to try and stop his dog.

"It took another guy and one of the other horse riders to eventually get hold of the dog. The owner wouldn't go out to where they were as I don't think he wanted to get his feet wet and just waited for the other guy to bring him his dog. The owner then walked off without even apologising or checking the girl was alright. Unbelievable behaviour."

It's all too common, because there are no consequences for dog owners whose animals do this.

Oh, wait! I just remembered it matters who owns the horses.

Is 'Placards In The Street' The 'Guardian's' Yardstick For Everything?

Sonia Sodha (Ed: yes, her again) in the 'Guardian':

“What about our free will?” the anti-nanny-staters will cry at the idea of forcing manufacturers to act. But we don’t see people with placards in the street protesting against the thwarting of our right to eat a slice of bread with as much salt as a packet of crisps.

These Nannystaters take an absence of people waving banners and marching as a green light. But what about the fact that most people (who are too busy for this) simply shift their buying habits?

I am, after all, quite capable of making my own bread.

The beauty of food reformulation is that because it happens gradually, our palates adjust and we simply don’t notice that certain foods are 30% less salty than a decade ago.

I call bollocks on this. I've lost count of the things I no longer buy because they don't taste the same as they used to. How about you, reader?

Well, It Won't Be The Idiots Who Let The Beast Live, Will It?

Reggie the Presa Canario (Ed: Oh oh!) spent almost 12 months in kennels costing the taxpayer more than £5,370.

It should have been shot dead at the scene for mauling an elderly woman. It wasn't 'a little nip', either. The pictures are utterly horrific.

Jo Thomson’s mother, Mary Martin, was bitten and had her leg fractured by the dog in December 2017 and last month the family were told by police officers the dog was going home.

Mrs Thomson said: “We’re devastated and furious. My mother had two fractures and a skin graft and was in hospital for six weeks.

“She feels worthless, she said ‘obviously I don’t count’”.

Clearly, she doesn't. What counts these days is the 'freedom' for worthless chavs to own dangerous dogs capable of killing wolves.

In June 2018 Reynolds pleaded guilty to being in charge of a dog that was dangerously out of control and received a six month community order.

Ms Kendall was told that in order that Reggie not be put down he would have to wear a muzzle at all times in public.

Reggie remained in kennels until December when his owners were able to source a large enough muzzle from abroad.

No rush, after all, they weren't made to pay the cost of kennelling, for whatever reason is only known to the bewigged morons on the bench...

Ms Thomson also asked who was going to make sure Reggie wore his muzzle from now on?

That's a damn good question. One we all know the answer to, as well - no one.

Crime Might Not Pay, But General Practice Sure Does!

The tribunal report read: “The tribunal was satisfied that the chance that Dr Makhdum will seek to practise medicine again is very low.

“It noted that he is approaching 62-years-old and has practised for over 35 years. The tribunal has been provided with evidence that he has not worked for the last year, that he is effectively retired, and is not financially dependent on continuing to practise medicine.”

I wonder why?

The tribunal found that Dr Mohammad Makhdum, who worked in Essex and Suffolk, had recommended nine patients to be cared for by agencies he had a financial stake in. As part of a scheme devised to boost and improve community care, Mr Makhdum sent patients to two firms, making financial gains. It happened between 2010 and 2011, according to the Medical Practitioners Tribunal report, with a misconduct report just published.

Mr Makhdum also worked for the Suffolk NHS Mental Health Partnership Trust, Norfolk and Suffolk Foundation Trust (NSFT) at the time when he sent mental health patients to Focus Care Agency and Vital Healthcare Services.

He contributed to the purchase of several properties for the agencies in Ipswich and owned a 50 per cent stake in Blackstone Healthcare, which held a majority stake in both Vital and Focus, at the time of the referrals, according to the report.

Dr Makhdum failed to declare these interests to his employers, the tribunal found. After the discovery of his interests he was dismissed in 2012.

He's not a doctor. He's a farmer!

“The tribunal noted that no risk to the safety of patients or the public generally was alleged by the General Medical Council. Any risk to the public that could be inferred from a lack of probity in a doctor would be entirely negated by the erasure of that doctor from the register and their ceasing to practise entirely.”

So, basically, he's got away with it.

*Taps 'Give-A-Fuck-Ometer'* Hmmm....

...doesn't seem to be working.

A woman had her teeth kicked out by her violent ex-boyfriend because 'she changed her Facebook profile picture'.

Lois Ashton has shared pictures of her horrific injuries, after she was kicked so forcibly in the face, three of her front teeth were knocked out and her jaw broken.

The 29-year-old, who now has to wear a partial denture, was attacked by ex-boyfriend Andrew McNair after a night out with friends.

McNair, who was jailed for 36 months, savagely kicked, punched and slapped Lois, after he saw she had taken him off her profile picture on Facebook.

Shocking! How can someone just snap like this, without any warning?

...she has bravely shared her story in a bid to help others who have or are suffering from domestic abuse.

Good for you, girl! Tell us, were there any warning signs?

She said: "He was lovely at first and so nice to me. But as the months went by he changed.

"I remember the first time he slapped me across the face."

Ummm, wait. Does that imply there was a second time?

"We were having an argument and I was shouting at him and he just slapped me.

"Another time he kicked me in the head and gave me a black eye."

I can feel my sympathy draining away.

"I should have left him for good at that point, but he was on the phone every day and saying how sorry he was and crying, so I would end up going back."

Not once. Repeatedly.

You can fix teeth and bones. You can't fix stupid.

Will You Tell Her, Or Shall I...?

Heh!

Most Shops Are, Aren't They?

With the exception of ice cream sellers and travelling libraries, I suppose.

H/T: Stephen Brown via email

"Me Write English Good, Work For 'Argus', Innit"

I mean, what even..?

Sunday Funnies...

Wow, who knew that it was even possible to be too weird for Hollywood?

Put The Onions Away, 'Guardian'...

The mechanical engineer, who has lived in the country for a decade, was stopped from working in June when he exhausted his appeal rights over his original asylum application in 2016.

More than 100,000 people have signed a petition calling on the Home Office to halt his removal.

Oh noes! Have they got the right BabySeal (© DumbJon) this time?

Macharia, who has received repeated letters demanding he pay the council tax, has no income and while his application is considered, is surviving on handouts from his 69-year-old mother, Jacinta, who is working extra shifts as an agency nurse. She suffers from arthritis and lives in sheltered housing.

She is paying Macharia’s £365 monthly rent plus bills while he waits to hear from the Home Office about his case.

Oooh, sure looks like it! Well, how c...

Wait.

Macharia has been in the UK since 2009, arriving on a student visa. He has twice been granted extensions to remain, as a student and then as a highly skilled migrant.

He claimed asylum in May 2016, arguing that he would be persecuted in Kenya where homosexual activity is illegal.

He's played the system like a fiddle. There may well be hard luck cases out there, but the progressive press unerringly picks the wrong ones.

Another BabySeal© Turns Out To Have Rabies...

Sitting in his home in the quiet, sun-dappled town of Buff Bay, Jamaica, the grief-stricken father of tragic schoolboy Jayden Moodie is still trying to come to terms with his son’s cold-blooded murder.

He shouldn't find it that difficult.

Mr Moodie is adamant Jayden’s death was a case of mistaken identity, that his son was a ‘helpful and loving person and not violent’, and that there was never any inclination that he was into ‘wrongdoing’.

‘I was on the phone with him the Friday before it happened and I said to him: “All I want you to do is stay out of trouble and make something of your life.”’

But as disturbing evidence grows that Jaden may have been in thrall to drugs gangs in Waltham Forest where he lived, the Mail can reveal Mr Moodie himself has served time in jail for drugs offences.

Like father, like son. Even the excuses have a ring of familiarity. He wasn't dealing drugs for money, oh no, nothing so tawdry!

He was ensnared in an undercover operation by Essex police in 2008, and in February 2009 was jailed for three-and-a-half years at Basildon Crown Court for dealing crack cocaine.

When he appeared in court, the father-of-six’s claim that he had turned to dealing as a way of ‘earning a living’ for his family held little weight with Judge Alice Robinson, who told him: ‘The supply of drugs is a pernicious trade. It causes untold misery not only to those who are addicted to drugs but to the wider public who suffer as a result of the extensive knock-on effect of the offences.’

Such as being asked to ignore what's right in front of our faces (again) as the usual suspects turn this crime to their own advantage.

Just before Christmas, the teenager was expelled from Heathcote School in Chingford, according to fellow pupils because of something his teachers had seen on social media.

His teachers seemed to have been paying attention. Yet the grieving 'family' being paraded in front of the cameras at every opportunity don't seem to have noticed a thing.

This Explains A Hell Of A Lot About 'Guardian' Columnists...

Maybe none of them can..?

Well, That's Reassuring. Isn't it?

Ash, who is from Brighton but has no fixed address, was just 18 and on drugs when he repeatedly knifed Gerald Edwards outside his home in Strood, near Rochester, Kent.

The 59-year-old had opened his front door to remonstrate with Ash and two other men for smashing his living room window in a completely random act of violence.

Mr Edwards had to have his spleen removed and a partial removal of his pancreas as a result of the wounds he suffered. His liver was also sliced.

Mr Edwards’ teenage son Christopher was also stabbed as he helped his stricken father.

He got 20 years.

Jordan Ash, 19, described by a judge as extremely dangerous, must serve at least two thirds of that custodial term before applying for parole under an extended sentence for public protection.

He will only be released once it is deemed safe to do so by the Parole Board, and will then be subject to an additional three years to any licence period.

I'm reassured. Is everyone else?

Imagine How Their Victims Feel, Councillor...

Travellers should not be housed near a rifle range because it may give them flashbacks of being shot at, councillors have argued.

...councillors said the group has faced years of hate and violence (Ed: Most likely from other travellers...) and that being exposed to the sound of gunfire could traumatise them.

Travellers being people who traumatise easily...

A highly charged council meeting heard chief executive Paul Wilson claim the family's occupancy was having an 'economic effect' on the town, due to taking up a much-needed parking space. Council officers also said there were also 'issues with ground conditions and confrontations with residents'.

In other word, acting as they always do in making themselves as welcome as Ebola.

Labour councillor Irene Ratcliffe said: 'I don't know how we can go ahead with putting them next to a rifle range, operating three days a week.

'I know we are desperate, but there is nothing worse for them than trying to sleep at night feeling scared.'

I imagine that's how the elderly victims of flytipping and unsolicited roofing offers feel, Irene...

We Need To Stop Building Council Houses, And Start Building Council Shoes.......

The devastated mum of a newborn baby says she has lost everything she owns after her flat was gutted by a fire.

Sometimes a story comes along that just melts my flinty heart. But, reader, this is not that story...

Alice Powell, 27, heard her sister scream "fire" at their 12th floor flat in Kale Road, Erith, early on Sunday (December 23) morning. Her sister was staying with her seven children and Alice was feeding her nine-week-old baby when the fire started.

Wait, what? How many children?!?

"We grabbed every child we could and left the flat," the distraught mum told News Shopper.

Alice, who also has a three-year-old, is now staying with her sister and the nine kids in a one-bedroomed Travelodge hotel in Bexleyheath.

They will be forced to live in the cramped conditions until December 27.

I can't see that 'cramped conditions' in the hotel are going to be much of a problem, compared to the flat!

"All my paperwork and all my baby birth documents are gone. My kids are devastated. They think Santa won’t know where they are.

"What am I going to say to them tomorrow when they wake up? There is nothing, all their presents are gone."

Alice, who has lived in the flat for two years, started a fundraiser, which she says she was embarrassed to do, so she can buy the kids a Christmas present.

I think clothes are more important, no..? And what started the fire, I wonder?

Firefighters say items placed on a hob caused the fire. Another GoFundMe page has also been set up to help the family.

Can't the fathers assist?

Silly me! What am I thinking?

"Don't you worry, it's gonna be alright, 'cause I'm always ready, I won't let you out of my sight..."

Peacehaven resident Joleigh Marchant was watching her son, Ronny Sadler, at a swimming lesson at the David Lloyd club at Brighton Marina when she noticed that he was having problems.

The 27-year-old said: “He had just swam a couple of lengths with his swimming teacher and then he was holding on to the side of the pool.

“He waved to me for a well done and his other hand slipped.”

She was sitting on the poolside, about four feet away, and was quick to react.

We are all 'quick to react' when something's two arm lengths away!

“I ran over but he was too far away to reach, so I jumped into the pool with my daughter still in my arms and dragged him out.”

That's her one year old daughter...

Joleigh added: “Staff watched the CCTV of what happened and when they came back they said that I should not have gone in after him and that the swimming instructor and lifeguard were moving but I got there beforehand.

“But, as a mother, it’s natural to go in after your child if they’re in danger.”

Not carrying one of your other offspring it isn't!

The State Loves An 'Action Plan'....

As part of a programme to combat the scourge of county line drug dealing an action plan has been put in place.

Ooh, an 'action plan'! Does it involve heavy penalties for offenders?

County line dealing involves gangs, often armed, coming into town to deal class A drugs and recruit young people to take part.

The initiative has been launched by Southend Council and is one of a number of measures being put in place to help protect the borough’s children.

The children at risk from drug dealing classmates, right?

The council has put in place a violence and vulnerability action plan which has seen dozens of workshops rolled out to schools and other agencies.

Workshops! Who doesn't love a workshop?

Since September, the council has been offering every school in the borough structured lessons and training to staff to ensure they are equipped to identify and tackle issues arising from county lines exploitation.

Well, I'm sure they'll have time for this, when they aren't doing all the other jobs parents should be doing.

"We've Decided It's Not Up To You After All..."

Miroslava Cicerova, 34, from Southend, was on the way home from a night with friends.

While speaking Slovakian on her phone a stranger, with a ring on his finger, struck her in the face.

She was left with a black eye, cuts and bruises and the inprint (sic) of the ring on her nose.

The victim thinks it was a 'hate crime'. And as we all know, what the victim defines it as is the k...

Wait.

A spokesman for Essex Police said: “We are investigating this as an assault. There is no indication that it was a hate crime at the moment. Please call us on 101 with any information.”

How very curious.

No, No, It's A Mystery Why 'County Lines' Is Such A Thing...

Timothy Miller, 18, of Westborough Road, Westcliff, admitted being in possession of 21 bags of herbal cannabis when he was stopped by officers on April 2 this year.

You're for the big house, boy!

He admitted one count of possession of a class B drug with intent to supply and was handed a four-month prison sentence suspended for one year at Southend Magistrates Court on December 17.

He was also ordered to pay £200 in costs and victim surcharges.

Wait, what..?

Gosh, it's a mystery why London drug gangs think if they use young people as couriers they'll get no deterrent sentences thanks to country bumpkin magistrates, isn't it?

The Difference Between Virtuesignalling Events And Reality...

His mother added: “It’s staggering the attitude of some youths today, they just seem to have this brazen attitude where as soon as they put their eyes on something they will take it.

"Right before Christmas he was at a biking event in London called Knives Down Bikes Up, which was all about encouraging young people to turn away from violence and committing crimes and take up different activities and exercise.

“He was on such a high after, feeling very positive about it all, it’s just such a shame he’s now a victim of it.”

I guess they didn't go on the ride, they just decided to continue doing what they've always done, since there's no consequences....

Samuel, who lives in Pitsea, called the police and logged the theft immediately after the incident, which happened between 7pm and 7.30pm.

Anyone with information is asked to call police on 101 or Crimestoppers on 0800 555111.

Some descriptions would help. Wouldn't they?

Failing Upwards....

Deputy Chief Constable Matthew Horne was found to have breached Essex Police’s standards of behaviour earlier this year but is now joining the Metropolitan Police in the role of...

Ah, yes, I remember this one.

So what's he joining them as? Office cleaner?

...Deputy Assistant Commissioner.

*blinks*

He denied all three allegations, but a panel found them to be proven. They recommended he was given management advice, but then-Chief Constable Stephen Kavanagh decided he should face no further action hailing his service record for all but ten minutes of his 28-year career.

Now a spokesman for Essex Police has confirmed he is leaving the force for a new role in the Met.

SNORK!

Well, At Least The Tardigrades Will Be Better At Grammar...

*sighs*

"We're Gonna Need A Much Bigger Flag..."

Even the Messiah only thought there were 57!

H/T: Stephen Brown via email

Sunday Funnies...

But aren't they all 'crazy', if you're an atheist?

I Trust Berkshire Coroner Ian Wade Leaves His Door Unlocked At Night..?

A coroner has ruled that burglar Wayne Digby was unlawfully killed by OAP Reuben Gregory, 73, who shot him dead at his caravan home in woodland.

In his inquest verdict after hearing the pensioner's assertion that he was acting in self-defence, the coroner said he rejected that explanation and found that the death of intruder Wayne Digby, aged 48 years, was manslaughter.

We've been here before, far too many times, haven't we, reader?

The shock verdict is expected to be studied by senior detectives who followed the Crown Prosecution Service's decision not to charge Mr Gregory with the killing but instead to charge him with possession of a shotgun without a licence.

So is there some doubt that a vulnerable OAP living in remote surroundings was actually attacked in the middle of the night by a drug-dependant gang of remorseless thieves?

Well, no....

Anthony ‘Tony’ Hearn, of Moreland Close, Colnbrook, pleaded guilty to the charge of conspiracy to commit aggravated burglary today (Thursday) and was sentenced at Reading Crown Court. The 48-year-old was arrested on June 12 and was charged with the offence on June 15.

The offence relates to an incident in the early hours of June 12, when Hearn and another man, Wayne Digby, attempted to enter a caravan in a field next to the Colnbrook bypass. The pair planned to steal from the occupants, with Hearn going equipped with a number of menacing items.

And despite having to show the now-obligatory taking out of an onion for the miscreant, the cop in charge is bang on the money:

Detective Chief Inspector Andy Shearwood of the Major Crime Unit said: “There is no doubt that this is a tragic incident for all concerned which has resulted in terrible consequences, including the death of Wayne Digby and our thoughts are with his family.

“However it cannot be ignored that the incident began with a conspiracy to burgle from vulnerable occupants of a remote home and that the co-conspirators were prepared to use force to get what they wanted. Without that intention none of this would have happened.

“The sentence reflects the severity of the offence.”

As did the other sentence; the one passed by Reuben.

Update: Following yesterday's shocking Surrey train murder, there's now a man in custody. But the police statement reads as very odd: "Nothing justified the extraordinary violence that followed..." and "we are now confident to say that this is not believed to be a random assault. In the moments leading to the violent killing, both men appeared to be involved in an altercation lasting three minutes."

Is it just me? Shouldn't they leave the inevitable excuses for the defence? 🤔

Or to bellends on Twitter:

Not enough facepalms in the world...

Just Hide Out In A Ditch, Love....

...it's Police Scotland, after all, they'll never find you there:

Larysa Switlyk, 33, 'a world-renowned hunter' from Sarasota, Florida, was accused of 'trophy hunting' wild animals on the island of Islay, Scotland in September after she posed for a series of Instagram photos during the hunt.

Now, Police Scotland have confirmed that the hunter, who regularly posts photos of her hunts alongside her boyfriend Jason, has been reported for firearms offences, along with a 41-year-old man also from the US.

While she was pictured with slain goats, stags and sheep on Islay, hunting animals in season is not illegal in Scotland and she is facing a charge under Section 11a of the Firearms Act, which relates to how you can use borrowed shotguns legally.

One hopes they've boned up on firearms laws since their last debacle...

Ms Switlyk drew intense criticism from politicians and celebrities after posting the photos - although many commenters mocked her for posing so proudly with a sheep.

Police Scotland added that they had received several complaints about hunting in September and the Procurator Fiscal is now investigating.

No, I have no idea why Police Scotland are mocked and derided as little more than hapless lackeys in blue of the offendatrons...

British hunter Jenna Gearing was one of those involved in the trip but said she quit early disgusted by Ms Switlyk's attitude.

'I'm not friends with her [Larysa] any longer and In fact the reason I left that hunt early was because I was so against what she stood for and her morals.

'I'd left the hunting trip before that photo was taken but it is an embarrassment to people that hunt like me and my family, who do it for sustainability, management and to eat wholesome freerange meat that I can source.'

There's always some useful idiot who thinks that they can avoid a clampdown on their sport by throwing someone else under the bus, isn't there? Do they never learn?

They Have A Cunning Plan...

...to stop Islam being associated with child grooming:

Serial killer Levi Bellfield was part of a child sex gang that has not been brought to justice, according to a council report.

The report, by Hillingdon Council in west London, looks at previously unreported links between Bellfield, whose victims include schoolgirl Milly Dowler, and a group of paedophiles accused of grooming at least 17 vulnerable girls under the age of 16 for sex.

The document, obtained by The Sunday Times, is by a senior social worker who specialised in child sexual exploitation and it has been handed to the Metropolitan Police.

It's brilliant! A pasty-faced white man! That'll..

Oh.

Bellfield, who has converted to Islam and now calls himself Yusuf Rahim...

Curses! Foiled again!

MONA Alert!

The three men made threats during the robbery in broad daylight just metres from police officers and outside a shopping centre.

Distressed mum Karen Kappes has warned people to take care after her 15-year-old son was one of the victims.

'Men'. Note that. It appears frequently.

One of the men then decided he liked the look of one of the boy’s coats - so they stole that as well.

Strange thing for 'men' to steal, you may think?

“Luckily, one of my son’s friends managed to get away and run around the corner to raise the alarm.

“He managed to get the attention of a community policing team, who came charging around the corner and scared them away.”

Note: didn't catch them.

“I had a call from them saying they were taking care of him and they got him on a train to come home.”

On his own. After a violent robbery. And that's what she considers 'taking care'...?

The violent attack may have been committed by a drugs gang with members operating in south Essex including Southend.

The gangs come to the town to recruit child dealers, sell class A drugs and, it appears, rob children.

But there's no descriptions. I think that tells us more than if there were full colour mugshots.

The Echo contacted Essex Police to find out what was being done to find the gang following the incident at 3pm on Thursday.

Should be a short statement. Is the second word 'all'...?

Another Champion?

The government has appointed a food waste champion to tackle the problem of 250m meals being thrown away in the UK each year.

Will they have to undergo a Thunderdome-style clash with the obesity champion, I wonder?

Elliot’s first task will be to oversee the Food Waste Fund, a £15m pilot scheme which will redistribute surplus food, Gove said.

Working with businesses and other stakeholders from across retail, manufacturing, hospitality and food services, he will also support government consultations on the introduction of mandatory food waste reduction targets and redistribution obligations.

You can all look forward to prices going up in the supermarkets then. Don't worry, they'll just blame Brexit!

Elliot said: “While families all over the country struggle to put food on the table and children still go to school each day with empty stomachs, there continues to be an unforgivable amount of food waste, which is both morally deplorable and largely avoidable.

“As a nation, we need to stop this excessive waste and ensure that surplus food finds its way to people in our society who need it most, and not let it get thrown away and go to landfill.”

Who is this cretin to tell us what is 'morally deplorable?

In his role as chair of the Quintessentially Foundation, Elliot, who is the Duchess of Cornwall’s nephew...

Ah. I take no lessons in morality from such.

...has worked with the Felix Project, a charity targeting food waste and food poverty in London which claims to have diverted up to £1bn of surplus food to those in need.

Has anyone tested the claims? No? Didn't think so.

And don't believe all you read about piles of 'wasted' food rotting in mountains. It's just not true.

Currently around 43,000 tonnes of surplus food is redistributed from retailers and food manufacturers every year, the government says. It is estimated a further 100,000 tonnes of food – equating to 250m meals a year – is edible and readily available but goes uneaten. Instead, it is sent away for generating energy from waste, or for animal feed.

Which will in turn provide more food and the energy to heat that food. So it's not 'wasted' at all.

"The Nazis Are Coming, The Nazis Are Coming..!"

Thank goodness we've got people like this to tell us that the illegal Afghans & Syrians & who knows what invading our country via small boats from across the Channel are really fleeing the imminent Fourth Reich!

From The 'Well, You Should Know...' Files

Who is Mike Sparling (the man who doesn't know that police are Crown servants)?

Glad you asked:

A failed Labour election candidate has been sacked from his police job after taking days off sick so he could canvas for the election.

Mike Sparling, 32, was confronted by his bosses with pictures of him on social media knocking on doors to try and win votes in the build-up to the poll.

At the time he was employed by Devon and Cornwall Police as a 999-call handler in Plymouth, Devon, after getting through a rigorous selection programme.

'Pwnd!', as I believe the cool kids say.

A Dangerous Animal That Needs Castrating And Muzzing...

A woman was outside a shop when a man approached her and got into argument with her about her dog at around 2.40pm.

The man claimed the dog, described as a Jack Russell, had scared a young child that was with him.

He then attacked the woman, punching her a number of times in the head, before leaving the scene.

Let's see this creep then:

Usual suspect.